Post by louiscypher on Jan 12, 2018 13:11:23 GMT -5
These will be my last words for a while.
I am having a bad day. As bad as can be. Not the worst though. I know there are people in the world having some really hard times. I would not categorize myself in the same situation.
Before you listen to what I have to say I want you to close your eyes for a moment and clear your mind. Now listen. My father would get up every day at 5:45am, he would get and go to the hospital where my mother was. She was slowly falling into dementia and Alzheimer was taking the rest. My father retired as soon as she got sick. He tried his best to take care of her at home but when it got to be too much he had to put her in a home. But as soon as the place opened he was there and he would spend all day with her till closing time. And towards the end, they would allow him to spend the night with her. Because visiting hours no longer applied to them.
She died 18 years ago, and 9 years later he passed away. I missed them in my own way I would say. But I was never the son they wanted or deserved. I was different. And it was that indifference in me that first sparked something else.
So the next part goes out to Lucas Balkan. Lucas, I think by now you see just how different I can be. I am the type who rises to my competition. If I am fighting someone who isnt up to par I do the same. And sometimes it costs me, laziness always has a price. But you put someone worth while in front of me and I rise to the occasion. You and I went to a draw once before, this time there will be no draw. I will beat you. Simple as that.
Now the reason I bring up my past is simple. Things like what my father went through helped shaped me. I dont like to give up. I dont like to lose. No one does I suppose. But my father knew it was a losing battle and still kept on. I dont know if I could be as strong as him. Probably not. But even in darkness I think of him, of his resolve and how strong he was. And I feel ashamed at how weak I can be sometimes. Throwing away my life and family for something that I think, something that I hope is real. I am a fool. And if I burn in hell then I would deserve it.
But what we get and what we deserve arent always the same is it Lucas? Cause you deserve a lot of things, and brother if there is a hell, you and I will be roomates down there, count on that.
Fade to black
I am having a bad day. As bad as can be. Not the worst though. I know there are people in the world having some really hard times. I would not categorize myself in the same situation.
Before you listen to what I have to say I want you to close your eyes for a moment and clear your mind. Now listen. My father would get up every day at 5:45am, he would get and go to the hospital where my mother was. She was slowly falling into dementia and Alzheimer was taking the rest. My father retired as soon as she got sick. He tried his best to take care of her at home but when it got to be too much he had to put her in a home. But as soon as the place opened he was there and he would spend all day with her till closing time. And towards the end, they would allow him to spend the night with her. Because visiting hours no longer applied to them.
She died 18 years ago, and 9 years later he passed away. I missed them in my own way I would say. But I was never the son they wanted or deserved. I was different. And it was that indifference in me that first sparked something else.
So the next part goes out to Lucas Balkan. Lucas, I think by now you see just how different I can be. I am the type who rises to my competition. If I am fighting someone who isnt up to par I do the same. And sometimes it costs me, laziness always has a price. But you put someone worth while in front of me and I rise to the occasion. You and I went to a draw once before, this time there will be no draw. I will beat you. Simple as that.
Now the reason I bring up my past is simple. Things like what my father went through helped shaped me. I dont like to give up. I dont like to lose. No one does I suppose. But my father knew it was a losing battle and still kept on. I dont know if I could be as strong as him. Probably not. But even in darkness I think of him, of his resolve and how strong he was. And I feel ashamed at how weak I can be sometimes. Throwing away my life and family for something that I think, something that I hope is real. I am a fool. And if I burn in hell then I would deserve it.
But what we get and what we deserve arent always the same is it Lucas? Cause you deserve a lot of things, and brother if there is a hell, you and I will be roomates down there, count on that.
Fade to black
