Post by louiscypher on Jan 10, 2018 13:30:57 GMT -5
6 years ago I am sitting at IHOP eating some pancakes. Minding my own business. When low and behold my ex walks in the door with a child, one of my children. She pretends to ignore me, they sit as far as can be from me, and I understand why. I go back to eating my pancakes. After several minutes my daughter comes walking up to me and just stands in front of me.
I say “can I help you?”
She says “you’re my daddy right?”
“Im sorry kid, I aint no ones daddy”
I look around and I dont see my ex, she must be in the restroom.
She says “Momma said you were dead.”
“Your mom is smart, trust her”
She replies “I miss you, so does Todd.”
At this point I grab a ten from my wallet and place it on the table and get up.
I whisper “I miss you guys too, but I am better off dead to you guys, dont look for me again” and I walk away and dont even bother looking back. I have not seen them since then, they are teenagers by now and probably hating my guts, good, hate is always good. Hate makes us strong.
Am I right Lucas? You seem the type who knows hate quite well. You keep hate close to your heart like an old lover. Want to know a secret? Hate is the most powerful emotion in the world. Hate is stronger than love, stronger than compassion, stronger than everything. My kids will hate me, and they will keep that hate in them. As they get older they will accomplish quite some impressive feats, all the while hoping I get wind of their accomplishments an be impressed. And I will be. They will lead incredible lives and all the while still hating me, and everything they do will be in spite of me, not because of me. Like I said, I did them a favor, they wont see that till they are old. But they will see it. And that is all that matters.
My decision was not easy. But it was the right one. I would not want them to go down the road in which I now inhabit. I do not want them touched by the darkness. And though I revel in it, I do not want it near them, nor do I want them near me. It is the last decent thing I ever did and I wont have that tarnished.
And yet here I am still waiting for the great Lucas Balkan to acknowledge me. Do you have anything to say or should I take your silence as a sign that you give up?
Fade to black
I say “can I help you?”
She says “you’re my daddy right?”
“Im sorry kid, I aint no ones daddy”
I look around and I dont see my ex, she must be in the restroom.
She says “Momma said you were dead.”
“Your mom is smart, trust her”
She replies “I miss you, so does Todd.”
At this point I grab a ten from my wallet and place it on the table and get up.
I whisper “I miss you guys too, but I am better off dead to you guys, dont look for me again” and I walk away and dont even bother looking back. I have not seen them since then, they are teenagers by now and probably hating my guts, good, hate is always good. Hate makes us strong.
Am I right Lucas? You seem the type who knows hate quite well. You keep hate close to your heart like an old lover. Want to know a secret? Hate is the most powerful emotion in the world. Hate is stronger than love, stronger than compassion, stronger than everything. My kids will hate me, and they will keep that hate in them. As they get older they will accomplish quite some impressive feats, all the while hoping I get wind of their accomplishments an be impressed. And I will be. They will lead incredible lives and all the while still hating me, and everything they do will be in spite of me, not because of me. Like I said, I did them a favor, they wont see that till they are old. But they will see it. And that is all that matters.
My decision was not easy. But it was the right one. I would not want them to go down the road in which I now inhabit. I do not want them touched by the darkness. And though I revel in it, I do not want it near them, nor do I want them near me. It is the last decent thing I ever did and I wont have that tarnished.
And yet here I am still waiting for the great Lucas Balkan to acknowledge me. Do you have anything to say or should I take your silence as a sign that you give up?
Fade to black
