Post by twilight on Oct 29, 2017 18:20:52 GMT -5
This is not my story. Not one of my lives. This is the story of Sara. Someone I knew back in 1949. She was an odd girl. But to me she was a good friend. She was 19, I was 14. But even with the age difference we seemed to get along pretty well. She was a senior in high school and I was freshman. Her senior class was 39 total, and of those 39 there were only 4 females. Like I said, not many made it to graduation that back then, and fewer still were women, they were expected to be wives and mothers and wives and mothers didn't need a diploma to be either.
But Sara was different she had plans. She wanted to get a loan from her grandfather, go to college, open her own accounting firm, do taxes for all the residents in town and live her life.
But all that wasn't to be. Her mom disagreed with everything Sara wanted. Her father didn't care either way so went along with her mom. Her mom spoke to her father, and convinced him not to lend her any money. Sara would do what she said or else.
Sara was heartbroken. She felt as if she was given no choice in the matter. And without college the best she could probably find for employment was as a waitress or secretary. Her life was about to begin and yet it was already over. Her mom wanted her to stop thinking about silly things and find a nice boy and settle down. She had even had her dad buy the adjacent property to them so that Sara and whoever her husband was could live just across them. To Sara that was worse than death.
3 days after school ended she saw me at the local gas station and said she wanted to say goodbye to me. We hung out almost every day after school at the library. We both loved to read books and if we weren't a boy and girl we would of hung out a lot more. I asked her where she was going. She said she had found a job in Oregon that would pay her well and soon she might have enough for college. I didn't care who saw, I hugged her hard and told her I would miss her. She cried and gave me a little kiss on my cheek and whispered to me “I always thought if you were a little older you would have been my boyfriend, did you ever feel like that?” I nodded yes. Of course, Sara was the prettiest girl in school but she never saw herself that way, and that made her ever prettier to me. I always thought, better yet, I always hoped shed open her business a few counties away where no one knew us and after I graduated high school and she graduated college that I would get the guts to ask her out officially and maybe we’d get married one day. That was my dream, and we all need dreams to hold on to.
But 2 days later she took her own life, she took a lot of sleeping pills shed bought at the five and dime and she never woke up. No letter, no nothing, she was gone. It broke my heart. 2 years later 2 days after my 16th birthday I pulmonary attack caused by a bee sting and I suffocated to death. As I reentered Jeville, I found my Sara down there too. You see Jeville is a place for the damned yet its a sporting place and gives each member a chance to survive before going further south. Sara did not remember me, or her life from before. But after much trying I was able to befriend her once again. I had squirreled away some reading material, that I gladly shared with her. Books were simply text books from an age long since gone, but it didn't matter, we were happy. But my stays in Jeville were only for a few years. But during that time, Sara and I were like peas in a pod. After some time she started remembering her old life.
I will stop right here. The rest is a story for another day. And not all stories are happy ones, the ones we remember the most are the sad ones. Am I right?
I guess Jude and Travis are wondering what this has to go with them? It has absolutely nothing to do with either of you. Not a thing. The reason I spoke about Sara is that sometimes someone comes along that makes you want to be a better person. And you realize you would do anything for that person. But I lost that. And I have been trying to get that back ever since. Every life, every chance, looking for that reason to be. I keep losing that reason. I cant seem to hold onto it.
But every now and then, every Tuesday night for a few minutes I get that reason for being. I become Twilight, IC champion. And maybe its not Sara, but its something. Something makes me want to stay in this life, and not go back to Jeville. Something makes me want to be better. If not for me than for those that are my Forgotten.
I will not go quietly into the goodnight anymore, do you hear me? Do you hear me?!!!
Fade to light
But Sara was different she had plans. She wanted to get a loan from her grandfather, go to college, open her own accounting firm, do taxes for all the residents in town and live her life.
But all that wasn't to be. Her mom disagreed with everything Sara wanted. Her father didn't care either way so went along with her mom. Her mom spoke to her father, and convinced him not to lend her any money. Sara would do what she said or else.
Sara was heartbroken. She felt as if she was given no choice in the matter. And without college the best she could probably find for employment was as a waitress or secretary. Her life was about to begin and yet it was already over. Her mom wanted her to stop thinking about silly things and find a nice boy and settle down. She had even had her dad buy the adjacent property to them so that Sara and whoever her husband was could live just across them. To Sara that was worse than death.
3 days after school ended she saw me at the local gas station and said she wanted to say goodbye to me. We hung out almost every day after school at the library. We both loved to read books and if we weren't a boy and girl we would of hung out a lot more. I asked her where she was going. She said she had found a job in Oregon that would pay her well and soon she might have enough for college. I didn't care who saw, I hugged her hard and told her I would miss her. She cried and gave me a little kiss on my cheek and whispered to me “I always thought if you were a little older you would have been my boyfriend, did you ever feel like that?” I nodded yes. Of course, Sara was the prettiest girl in school but she never saw herself that way, and that made her ever prettier to me. I always thought, better yet, I always hoped shed open her business a few counties away where no one knew us and after I graduated high school and she graduated college that I would get the guts to ask her out officially and maybe we’d get married one day. That was my dream, and we all need dreams to hold on to.
But 2 days later she took her own life, she took a lot of sleeping pills shed bought at the five and dime and she never woke up. No letter, no nothing, she was gone. It broke my heart. 2 years later 2 days after my 16th birthday I pulmonary attack caused by a bee sting and I suffocated to death. As I reentered Jeville, I found my Sara down there too. You see Jeville is a place for the damned yet its a sporting place and gives each member a chance to survive before going further south. Sara did not remember me, or her life from before. But after much trying I was able to befriend her once again. I had squirreled away some reading material, that I gladly shared with her. Books were simply text books from an age long since gone, but it didn't matter, we were happy. But my stays in Jeville were only for a few years. But during that time, Sara and I were like peas in a pod. After some time she started remembering her old life.
I will stop right here. The rest is a story for another day. And not all stories are happy ones, the ones we remember the most are the sad ones. Am I right?
I guess Jude and Travis are wondering what this has to go with them? It has absolutely nothing to do with either of you. Not a thing. The reason I spoke about Sara is that sometimes someone comes along that makes you want to be a better person. And you realize you would do anything for that person. But I lost that. And I have been trying to get that back ever since. Every life, every chance, looking for that reason to be. I keep losing that reason. I cant seem to hold onto it.
But every now and then, every Tuesday night for a few minutes I get that reason for being. I become Twilight, IC champion. And maybe its not Sara, but its something. Something makes me want to stay in this life, and not go back to Jeville. Something makes me want to be better. If not for me than for those that are my Forgotten.
I will not go quietly into the goodnight anymore, do you hear me? Do you hear me?!!!
Fade to light
