Post by Joey on Jan 20, 2017 15:47:36 GMT -5
Jackson Kent
There is something about watching TV late at night by yourself. There is an uneasiness, maybe its just loneliness that one doesnt dare interpret but it seems like much more. I watch TV with the lights off, only the white glare from the tv illuminates the room. Shadows dancing everywhere. And at first the glow is warm and inviting. It is safe and known. It doesnt matter what is going on in the outside world. All that matters is the safe embrace of TV. No matter if I watch Seinfeld reruns, or episodes of Spongebob, or something more menancing like Channel Zero or Walking dead. It is all about losing oneself in the embrace that is TV. You see TV will will entertain you, it will help you pass time, even help you lose time if that is your purpose. You can start watching on a Friday night and wake up on Sunday night and not realize where time went. TV can be a god if we let it be.
But for now I will focus on this story. Lights from the screen dance everywhere. And while there is noise in the living from coming from the TV after a while if you pay attention, you understand just how alone you are. And a sudden surge of uncomfortableness washes over you. Now you are on your phone hoping someone is awake and hoping even more that someone is willing to come over and hang out. YOu have never felt so lonely as you feel right now. Loneliness will wash over me in waves and Its not that I am scared, its simply that I feel so alone. I hate this feeling. And I wonder how some people ever get along? Have some been alone so long they forget what it was like when others were around? How do so many people survive this way? I have never been what you would call a people person, but I am never alone for too long.
This emptiness in me will not go away and after waiting for someone to reply to my text I get up and grab my jacket from the chair by the front door and head out. I dont know where I am going but I know I need to be around people. I think about going to Malibu Speedway, but everyone is always there with friends and family and I have a feeling I may feel even more alone there. I think about maybe going to Denny's to have a meal but that place would bring back some not so good memories. So I end up going to a chinese buffet restaurant. Its fine there, there is lots of noise, the chinese waitresses are always happy to chit chat with me about where they came from or point out foods I should try. There is always a lot of people eating alone and I think in this situation misery likes company.
And for just a moment my mind thinks about Jackson Kent, the man with 2 first names that could also be 2 last names. Why in the world anyone would name him like that is beyond me. But Jackson Kent it is. I want to show some respect and say how great of a competitor he is and all that. But honestly he is barely someone I remember. And last week's match he was utterly forgettable. Jackson why should I give you a second thought? ARe you even worthy of 1 thought? You need to prove yourself, because son I will tell you right now, in this world and in the next, 2 first names buys you nothing. What will you be remembered for? A man with 2 first names or 2 last names or a man who actually torn apart the man named Saint Jude? If I were a betting man I would say you wont be much of a threat, or anything I should worry about. I challenge you to prove me wrong. But you dont seem like the type to accept or pass a challenge. That is alll I hae to say about Jackson Kent.
Maybe Jackson is like myself? Alone in a dark nightmare perhaps like me? Lost in a dark world of his own that none us can understand? No, I doubt it.
I will finish my meal. And that will be that.
..Fade..to...Darkness......
There is something about watching TV late at night by yourself. There is an uneasiness, maybe its just loneliness that one doesnt dare interpret but it seems like much more. I watch TV with the lights off, only the white glare from the tv illuminates the room. Shadows dancing everywhere. And at first the glow is warm and inviting. It is safe and known. It doesnt matter what is going on in the outside world. All that matters is the safe embrace of TV. No matter if I watch Seinfeld reruns, or episodes of Spongebob, or something more menancing like Channel Zero or Walking dead. It is all about losing oneself in the embrace that is TV. You see TV will will entertain you, it will help you pass time, even help you lose time if that is your purpose. You can start watching on a Friday night and wake up on Sunday night and not realize where time went. TV can be a god if we let it be.
But for now I will focus on this story. Lights from the screen dance everywhere. And while there is noise in the living from coming from the TV after a while if you pay attention, you understand just how alone you are. And a sudden surge of uncomfortableness washes over you. Now you are on your phone hoping someone is awake and hoping even more that someone is willing to come over and hang out. YOu have never felt so lonely as you feel right now. Loneliness will wash over me in waves and Its not that I am scared, its simply that I feel so alone. I hate this feeling. And I wonder how some people ever get along? Have some been alone so long they forget what it was like when others were around? How do so many people survive this way? I have never been what you would call a people person, but I am never alone for too long.
This emptiness in me will not go away and after waiting for someone to reply to my text I get up and grab my jacket from the chair by the front door and head out. I dont know where I am going but I know I need to be around people. I think about going to Malibu Speedway, but everyone is always there with friends and family and I have a feeling I may feel even more alone there. I think about maybe going to Denny's to have a meal but that place would bring back some not so good memories. So I end up going to a chinese buffet restaurant. Its fine there, there is lots of noise, the chinese waitresses are always happy to chit chat with me about where they came from or point out foods I should try. There is always a lot of people eating alone and I think in this situation misery likes company.
And for just a moment my mind thinks about Jackson Kent, the man with 2 first names that could also be 2 last names. Why in the world anyone would name him like that is beyond me. But Jackson Kent it is. I want to show some respect and say how great of a competitor he is and all that. But honestly he is barely someone I remember. And last week's match he was utterly forgettable. Jackson why should I give you a second thought? ARe you even worthy of 1 thought? You need to prove yourself, because son I will tell you right now, in this world and in the next, 2 first names buys you nothing. What will you be remembered for? A man with 2 first names or 2 last names or a man who actually torn apart the man named Saint Jude? If I were a betting man I would say you wont be much of a threat, or anything I should worry about. I challenge you to prove me wrong. But you dont seem like the type to accept or pass a challenge. That is alll I hae to say about Jackson Kent.
Maybe Jackson is like myself? Alone in a dark nightmare perhaps like me? Lost in a dark world of his own that none us can understand? No, I doubt it.
I will finish my meal. And that will be that.
..Fade..to...Darkness......
