Post by Joey on Oct 17, 2017 14:26:16 GMT -5
The clock strikes 12 and it is officially midnight. I should be asleep by now. But instead I am still waiting for sleep to catch up to me. Time goes by slow in the hardest times of our lives. That's just how it is.
I walk around the kitchen not knowing what I should do. I feel restless, and a part of me thinks I should just go out somewhere. But where? Its Sunday night, I don't drink. I am not really hungry and I fear if I eat this late I will be up even later. I am not like others, over eating does not make me hungry.
I sit down on the mahogany chairs and stand up just as quick. I walk into the nearby leaving room sitting on the white leather couch I bought used off a neighbor and turn on the TV. There are several things that interest me, but at the same time I have no real interest to watch anything. Why am I so nervous? It would take some exploration to figure that out.
I grab my car keeps from the linoleum kitchen table that I bought at a garage sale a few years back. Its does not fit this place, its like a sore thumb, but that's why I bought it, because its old and from another time and it doesn't conform to this modern house. And that's why I love it. Its just like me, old and stubborn and refuses to go quietly into that good night.
The longer you without sleeping the longer you start to question reality. You get to the point where you don't know if you are dreaming or awake. I am nowhere near that state but soon enough I might.
I reach my car and unlock it with its alarm. I open the door with my left hand and sit in my car, I turn the key and ignition, and the car revs on. I put the shift knob in reverse but I do not let go of the break. Its nearly 1am on a Monday night, where do I think I am going? Whataburger or Walmart those are the only things open right now, and while my mind considers going to Walmart for a moment, I see a funny thought of myself walking through Walmart like a literal zombie, wandering the aisles and making zombie sounds, if it were closer to Halloween I think I might get away with it, but at this time I would only be asked by a security guard or a police officer for me to go back home. I turn the key back, which turns off the engine, I sit in the car for a moment before exiting.
Why am I feeling this way? Like a rat in a cage. I want to go, but I don't. I want to stay yet I want to go. Its like being in limbo only worse because I have the means to escape yet I don't.
And through it all I haven't even given Travis Deacon or Louis Cypher a second thought? I guess I really should focus on them a little bit. But my mind is in a thousand different places, and trying to focus on them will prove to be even more difficult than originally thought. Travis has made quite the impression, there are times when you think he could go toe to toe with anyone. Then there are days when you wonder if he could even beat Mr. Amazing. Not that Mr. Amazing isn't good, just that he’s lazy.
Then there is old Louis Cypher, who stole his name from a movie, Angel Heart if I am right? Yes I saw that awful Deniro movie as well. Louis you hide behind a name, you hide behind a gimmick. Are you so empty that you stoop to these tactics? Are you so weak in yourself and lack so much confidence that you think you scare or impress anyone with your name or words? We as human race have seen periods of true evil, Hitler and the Holocaust. Serial Murders and genocide, compared to any of that, do you think you or your silly words can scare anyone, much less me?
And that is about the length of my focus that I can give either of you.
I open my car door with my left hand and gently step out. That frantic nature that was in me seems to be subsiding, I feel a lot more peaceful. And I think if I tried I might actually get some sleep. I close the car door with my right hand and lock the car again and walk up the concrete pathway to my front door. I use my left hand as I push the door open, and the quietness hits me. And while so much quiet can be eerie at times, it helps me quiet my mind and perhaps my soul. I sit down on the couch and quickly lay down on it and within a few minutes I am finally asleep. Finally.
...Fade….to….Darkness…..
I walk around the kitchen not knowing what I should do. I feel restless, and a part of me thinks I should just go out somewhere. But where? Its Sunday night, I don't drink. I am not really hungry and I fear if I eat this late I will be up even later. I am not like others, over eating does not make me hungry.
I sit down on the mahogany chairs and stand up just as quick. I walk into the nearby leaving room sitting on the white leather couch I bought used off a neighbor and turn on the TV. There are several things that interest me, but at the same time I have no real interest to watch anything. Why am I so nervous? It would take some exploration to figure that out.
I grab my car keeps from the linoleum kitchen table that I bought at a garage sale a few years back. Its does not fit this place, its like a sore thumb, but that's why I bought it, because its old and from another time and it doesn't conform to this modern house. And that's why I love it. Its just like me, old and stubborn and refuses to go quietly into that good night.
The longer you without sleeping the longer you start to question reality. You get to the point where you don't know if you are dreaming or awake. I am nowhere near that state but soon enough I might.
I reach my car and unlock it with its alarm. I open the door with my left hand and sit in my car, I turn the key and ignition, and the car revs on. I put the shift knob in reverse but I do not let go of the break. Its nearly 1am on a Monday night, where do I think I am going? Whataburger or Walmart those are the only things open right now, and while my mind considers going to Walmart for a moment, I see a funny thought of myself walking through Walmart like a literal zombie, wandering the aisles and making zombie sounds, if it were closer to Halloween I think I might get away with it, but at this time I would only be asked by a security guard or a police officer for me to go back home. I turn the key back, which turns off the engine, I sit in the car for a moment before exiting.
Why am I feeling this way? Like a rat in a cage. I want to go, but I don't. I want to stay yet I want to go. Its like being in limbo only worse because I have the means to escape yet I don't.
And through it all I haven't even given Travis Deacon or Louis Cypher a second thought? I guess I really should focus on them a little bit. But my mind is in a thousand different places, and trying to focus on them will prove to be even more difficult than originally thought. Travis has made quite the impression, there are times when you think he could go toe to toe with anyone. Then there are days when you wonder if he could even beat Mr. Amazing. Not that Mr. Amazing isn't good, just that he’s lazy.
Then there is old Louis Cypher, who stole his name from a movie, Angel Heart if I am right? Yes I saw that awful Deniro movie as well. Louis you hide behind a name, you hide behind a gimmick. Are you so empty that you stoop to these tactics? Are you so weak in yourself and lack so much confidence that you think you scare or impress anyone with your name or words? We as human race have seen periods of true evil, Hitler and the Holocaust. Serial Murders and genocide, compared to any of that, do you think you or your silly words can scare anyone, much less me?
And that is about the length of my focus that I can give either of you.
I open my car door with my left hand and gently step out. That frantic nature that was in me seems to be subsiding, I feel a lot more peaceful. And I think if I tried I might actually get some sleep. I close the car door with my right hand and lock the car again and walk up the concrete pathway to my front door. I use my left hand as I push the door open, and the quietness hits me. And while so much quiet can be eerie at times, it helps me quiet my mind and perhaps my soul. I sit down on the couch and quickly lay down on it and within a few minutes I am finally asleep. Finally.
...Fade….to….Darkness…..
