Post by Joey on Dec 24, 2020 13:52:49 GMT -5
The scene opens up at Redd’s home. He is sitting on his white leather sofa. The ceiling fan above slowly osculating. He has a medium sized cardboard box in front of him, within the box there are cds. He is simply checking what he has and organizing them.
He has on blue jeans, a white tshirt with a black circle on it. He has no shoes no socks. His light brown hair is not combed, it has not been combed in days. Its about 40 degrees outside but he has not turned on the heater inside. The cold floor feels good on his feet. Cold and unforgiving, just the way he likes it.
Now as the year 2020 is coming to an end, I start thinking back. And that is never a good thing for me. I realize that I have never really given SFT nor anyone a full backstory on me, my history, my real history. Sure some know I trained under Legion, that I was one of his dark priests, god knows where the others disappeared to, but someone should of kept tabs on them. They were, lets just say, bad people.
I was born in Duncanville TX, January 2, 1976. My mothers name was Dolores. My father’s name was Joseph, yeah I am a Jr. We were lower middle class. Well let me correct that we were low class. My father’s best friend was Jim. Jim Beam. Jim and my father were inseparable. They woke up at the same time and had a quick breakfast. Lunch was all them, laughing and drinking, they rarely ate anything during his work lunch. Dinner was a relaxing time for him and Jim. But as bedtime grew closer, the angrier he became, you see mom would send Jim away. And my father did not like that at all. My father would get angry. My father would do things to her, and when his anger wouldn't subside. He took it out on me. The next day he would pretend nothing happened. He and Jim were reunited again and that is all that matter. Oh how they would laugh and joke, Jim made the world seem not only bearable but nice. Jim made everything nice.
And so one day my father died, liver gave out, or he slipped and fell, or my mother happened to smother him. Its a gray area, he’s gone now, that's all that matters. I visit his grave very seldom. I will chat with him as only I know how. Mostly we’ll talk about he could have been a better a father. He will tell me he did the best he knew how. I tell him that is not good enough. Not a good enough answer. He stays quiet for a while. He will ask him if he brought his old friend Jim. And answer yes. I will empty the entire bottle on his tombstone. He says thank you. He wishes I would bring Jim more often. And I tell him I do the best that I can. Burn in hell dad. He replies, hows your mom? My father was a bad man. But he was my dad. And sometimes I feel the apple did not fall far from the tree.
Redd gets up and goes to the kitchen. He walks briskly. He goes to the high cupboard and opens it up with his left hand. He reaches towards the back, and brings out a bottle of Jim Beam Black, those who do not know this is an aged Bourbon. It tastes just as terrible as the rest. But taste has little to do with it. Redd grabs a crystal glass, fills it up hallway. He smells it for a moment smiles, and thinks to himself (cheers dad). He drinks it all in one drink and thinks once again (Like father like son). But I am not as twisted as he was, I will not hurt anyone, cept myself. The dark liquid burns in his throat as it goes down. He wants to throw up but only for a moment, and the feeling passes left only with a warm feeling as he gets a little dizzy and not as sad anymore.
He pours a second drink and puts the bottle back in its place. He stands in the kitchen for a moment thinking, those he keeps to himself. He walks back to the sofa and sits down with a hush from his weary body. He gets comfortable and takes a small sip.
So let me continue my story. Went to school in Duncanville, graduated high school. I went to a technical college, forgot what I studied, part time student and I worked at some pizza joints part time, then Denny’s part time, while I was putting myself through school. This is when I had met Shadow. And our story started as friends and we ended as brothers. He was the last bit of family I had left after breast cancer took my mother. And losing them both, affected me in a way that is still with me. I will not say more about them. I do not think I could bare it. Back then, I finally finished my associate degree but by then I did not really care to go on with my field.
I guess when I think about it, Emerson is a lot like me in respect to how our lives were. But he has family, he has his sister he has his son. And that makes him a rich man in my eyes. Because I have no one like that. But that is where our similarities end.
So I bounced around from job to job, trying to find my place. I never did find it. I want to say that even as a little boy I knew I would be bound for something bigger and better. But the truth is, I come from a blue collar family, more trailer park trash than anything else. There is nothing particularly special about me. I am not super smart, I am not the most athletic person. I don't have that inner strength in me most have. To be honest, I am as about as ordinary as you can get. Nothing about me screams talent or genius. But the secret is this, once you have been around so long, and you have seen a lot of things, done a lot of things, then puts you in that place of god. God isn't a deity, its just a guy whose been around a long time. That has seen everything and has done everything. A historian of sorts. I do not have much love for God. I have a grudge against him. A friend once told me that God does not make bad things happen to us, that is the devil or our own free will that causes such things. But I reminded him, that everything and anything that happens is God’s will. So when something good happens we say “Thank you God”, but when something bad happens we don't get to blame him? How does that work, how come he takes our thanks when he makes something good happen but then refuses to take the blame? No, no sir, everything is Gods will, so everything good is due to him, everything bad, is also due to him. Do not make excuses for him, do not let him off the hook. I have a good reason to hold a grudge and no one, and I mean no one will take that away from me.
God was no where to be found when my mother was suffering. He was not around when Shadow was gasping his last breath. No God conveniently was absent then. Some might spout that without suffering there would be no compassion? I would tell them to shut the help up, because you and your family have not suffered.
The Anger Grows in me. I finish my drink and want to smash it against the wall. That seems to be all that I ever feel these days. At least I feel something right?
And my mind thinks on Candace. I honestly had not given her a second thought since I faced her in ICW. She had refused my invitation at the time to come with me to SFT. But I was not angry I have more things in my life to be angry about than her. But eventually she did come here, and I was pleased. She now calls this home. And that too pleases me. But Candace what now? Now you hold the world title. Whats next? Do you plan to create a Universal title and create that and claim that as well? Do you plan to keep that title for 14 months and be the longest reining SFT world champion ever? And if so whats next after that? And after that?
For me its never been about titles. A title has never defined me, nor anyone that was in my circle. We had moved on beyond those confines. It is only when you have nothing and want nothing that you can finally be free, free to do whatever you like. There's more to it of course but that is the closest I can to explain it. I believe in time you will get there, to that place I am describing but for now, you are well cemented in the game. Playing your own games in there.
(Redd gets up and starts walking around his living room)
Sometimes when I get depressed ill sit over by the bay windows, I’ll sit on the floor and just look out through those windows. There's a small river behind me the house and I can see it well. I’ve been meaning to go down there and do some fishing. But there are things in my life I have been meaning to do and never got around to it. I fear I will never walk those 20 yards to do that fishing. And that Candace is an uncompleted life. I have so many things in my life that I have meant to do, but never did it. I meant to get married. But didn't. I meant to be a father one day, but I didn't. I meant to be a good man, but I couldn't. I meant to find my way back to God, but I wouldn't. So on and so on. But that's on me, that is my life. Yours however is different.
You have a man, and may I say a good man who has willingly given you his heart only to have him and his heart used like a chess piece. Jack deserves better, and you know that Candace. As broken as I am,and trust me, I am broken to the point that I cannot be fixed, there is still hope for you. Do not use him, do not abuse him. There are very little people like him in the world, good honest men, do not take that away from him. Do not change him into whatever perverted thing you think you want to make him into. Love him or leave him. Its as simple as that. And if you do not make right by him, then on Everything Ends, you will see me awake. And trust me Candace, you do not want that. You really do not. When I faced you in ICW, I was still in a daze, you do not want to see what I can do to you if I wake up. Better to let sleeping giants sleep.
Redd takes a deep breath.
When my mother was sick, those last few months in the hospital were tough. I rarely left her side, Id sleep on a long chair, shower there, eat in the cafeteria, I had clothes in the closet, I wouldn't leave, nor did anyone ever ask me to, they knew visiting hours no longer applied to me. When she was awake, we would chat, she would tell me stories of when she was a little girl, and listed intently, I wanted to know her stories and keep them close. The nurses and doctors were pushing to put her in a hospice. But it never got to that place. My mother died at 2:42 am, on a Friday. I was left with her the rest of the night, I used a small towel and cleaned her face, kissed her cheek. And I cursed God and begged him to bring her back to me, and when he didn't., I cursed him again. I was alone now. No more family left, cept one. But he wasn't blood, but still I felt like the last person left on the planet. A deep sorrow, a deep loneliness, and I could not imagine a world without her. In the morning they came to ask where mortuary they should take her to. We had made plans but now it was reality. That deep sorrow filled me again and it took a long time for it to leave me, though in reality it never did leave me, it stayed with me, its still with me till this day.
I felt lost. I felt scared. And most of all I felt anger. Such anger. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to make others hurt like I hurt. Does that make sense? Others have nothing to do with my pain and loss, but nonetheless there it was, if I saw someone happy or happy family enjoying a day that only made me angrier. And no matter what I did, that anger only grew.
Broken I am. Broken I will be.
(Redd goes back to the kitchen and serves himself another drink, he takes a drink then flings the crystal glass to the floor, it shatters everywhere, he looks down at his bare feet and understand instantly what a mistake he just made)
I guess I deserve what is about to happen to me. I deserve this pain, I earned it. It is mine and only mine. He starts to walk across the floor leaving a thin bloody trail as he goes. He goes to the bathroom and turns on the shower. He washes his feets blood and glass away, he puts on some sandels.
Everything washes away nice and clean. And we start over. He goes back to the kitchen and grabs a broom from the corner of the kitchen and begins to sweep up. He grabs a dish towel after he is done sweeping, soaks it in a bit of water then begins to clean the floor picking up the tiny bits of glass he missed with the sweep. He soon puts everything away in his place.
Candace you mentioned something in your last promo about me being like Parkinsons. Well I did not peg you as a fortune teller. But when. (he takes a deep breath) Girl you have no idea what you are talking about. None…….
I will not talk about that anymore. Each and everyone of us are sick, some worse than others.
Candace you are a spiritual woman. I respect that. You keep your god close to you, you seem to think you are a goddess now? You are not. A true goddess if such a thing exists is full of grace and love. You have neither. Cept the love of one man. And you don't understand what true love is I supposed. But neither does Jack. If you were a goddess you would set him free. You do not have plenty of love for yourself but none for someone else. I take that back perhaps for yourself and family but none leftover for anyone else. You should let Jack go. I tried to get him to see the light, he refuses to. Jack has a good heart. Do not take that away from him. So very little people left in this world with a good heart, would you really taint his? He is not a pawn on a chess board. You play a game, one which he does not. Candace if have any divinity in you, then let him go. Do the right thing not for you, but for someone who deserves better than the likes of you and me.
When I first met Jack, he was the stepson of Shadow. He was such a good kid. Always listening, always soaking everything up. Very respectful, and he still is today. This world has so very little good in it, I would hate to see the little bit of light in the darkness be extinguished due to you Candace. Don't make the world worse by taking his light away. Let him go, leave him be. If there is any good in you, you wont hurt him, you wont take that beacon of good away. He deserves better.
Love is such a hard thing to get. I mean real love. Love that will make you sick to your stomach, love where the only person you can think about is that other person. That your life seems empty when that person is not around. Love is special, and most of us never really experience it for real.
(Redd smiles a little, he is now wrapping some gauze around his feet, not really feeling the pain anymore)
Oh we’ve all think we’ve been in love before, but its just that we have no clue what real love is, and so we’ll assume that what we feel at that time is love. But its not, no love is so rare that few ever experience what love truly is. And I doubt Jack is in love with you, he just doesn't know any better. None of us do. So take my advice Candace, let good be good, and do not sully it. Lets see how smart you really are and see if you take my advice on this.
(There is small fern in the corner of the room. He waters it every day. And yet rarely has it shown any sign of growth, its like SFT, never growing but staying alive. Redd smiles at this, but at least it still lives, unlike all of the federations that have gone against SFT. They never learn and keep repeating the same mistakes. How unfortunate.)
The house is so quiet, so empty. I always feel so alone, as if I am the last person on earth and when I go out, anywhere and I see people, I feel even lonelier. I feel invisible, like I don't exist, like I don't matter. And its fine really, ive lived a life, im old enough, and if this is as far as I go, that's fine.
(Redd goes to the kitchen and opens the cabinet under the sink with his left hand. He finds the watering vase and grabs it with his left hand, he pulls it out from under the sink, he closes the cabinet again with his left hand and brings the vase out to the sink, he gives it a quick rinse and then fills it half way.)
Candace you seem a very spiritual woman, it seems you are close to your god. I am glad, now a days, most people seem to have lost their faith and in turn lost their way. While I may have no respect for God, I still believe he serves a purpose. To guide people into living the right way. And while I shun God’s warm embrace there are others who truly need it, way more than me. But Candace while I appreciate your faith, it fails you at times. You see the world in all its majesty, in its hard blackness to its beauty and faith. You see the world from a thrown way above. And you seem content with your god and think you walk hand in hand with him. But that faith will fail you. Your god will fail you. As he fails everyone when they most need him. When you step in the ring with me Candace, there will be no god or deity with you. I am that typhoon on that secluded beach, growing over 200 feet tall about to crash on you, and no one can save you, not god, not whatever deity you pray to, no one. And count yourself lucky at that Candace. Had you known me or faced me during my prime, my goodness I was a nightmare. I was unrepentant, unremorseful, and I absolutely hated everyone that stepped in the ring with me. It was like Tyson facing Hearns, the match was over before anyone sat down down.
But now I have grown weak and old, and tired. Right now would be the perfect opportunity for you to beat me. That is if God were on your side. And I know he isn't. Trust me Candace, he is not with you. God is nowhere.
(Redd walks over to the fern and slowly begins to water it, he moves the small leaves around so the entire plant gets a little water, then pours what is left into the base, so the roots can grow strong and keep the fern healthy and alive. He walks back to the kitchen and he still feels a little bit of glass on the floor, but he thinks to himself, I will get to it later.)
Sometimes never gets around right? I said earlier. I had planned to be married and have kids by now. But it never happened with me. My gf is as old as I am and thus she would not be able to have kids anymore. I guess I could adopt. But I have enough children in SFT to deal with then to have to deal with it at night when I need to rest. So I guess I will not be a real. I will have to settle for SFT. And SFT is full of children, each one different than the other, each one needing specific attention, and while I do fail on that, I still try. I cannot give all the attention to one kid and ignore the other.
Right now the petulant child in front of me is you Candace. Candace you were undefeated as IC champion, and now you have the world title. That should be enough. And while you have such great talent probably one of the best wrestlers ive seen in the last 5-7 years. But your ego gets the most of you. You cannot sit there and live with the fact that I beat you once. What of it? I beat you once, nothing was on the line except bragging rights. Nothing is on the line now. When you approached me to face me again. I didn't. know what to think, other than, “she cant let things go.”
Trust me I know that feeling, I can relate. But you still need a decade of experience in SFT to get to where I am. Its not to say that miracles cant happen. Miracles happen every day just not for me.
When SFT faced ICW, I was on the fence as to whether to join or not. Honestly I didn't. care about ICW nor their talent, as I only ever cared about SFT. But a day before the event I went and looked at the talent, I was given info by Rumpke. And the moment I agreed to enter the event, everyone but ICW’s roster knew it was over. Everyone. I mean Jackson Kent, Robert Saints, Cassandra, they must of all rolled their eyes and said to themselves “Well there goes the main event”. It was stupid of me to join that match, for a milisecond my ego got the best of me and I shouldnt of have. I have very few matches left in me, and I shouldnt of wasted it on that match. Candace you are not ready for me yet. Not yet. Given a few years a few wars a few feuds that will change you and make you grow. The secret is you have to not just be willing to lose everything, but in fact lose it altogether. When you have no titles, when you have no options, when you have lost your pride and will to do anything, then and only then might you be ready to face me. In SFT with most past opponents ive been really at 10 percent, with Rumpke maybe 50 percent, and if you Candace want me at a higher percentage, then that's fine, if I were you and intent on facing me Id want to face me at the highest level I can be at. But be weary of that. Should you face me at 70 percent or higher, you will not like what comes your way.
Candace I am a tornado plain and simple, tornadoes come and go and when they touch the ground they are just chaos and destruction. That is what I am, a pure tornado. And I will turn you inside out, not just professionally but personally. I have a way of changing people and most times not for the best.
Some call me a founding father, the last of an age long since extinct, like a dinosaur. And yet this last dinosaur still roams the earth. I am from a time long since forgotten. But if you step in the ring with me you will be taken back to a time way before you were born. And you will see and feel things that you did not even know existed anymore. It will be thrilling for you, but it will not change the outcome.
The outcome is set, and I think deep down you already knew that. You are a smart woman, cleverer than most I’d take it. But being clever wont save you, not from me.
Let me give you some advice, the first time we faced I gave you advice and you chose to ignore it. So be a smart girl this time around and heed my advice, call it a warning.
You saved faced. You challenged me, I accepted it. Let it end there. Give yourself a nice Christmas present and let it end with you walking to the ring but not entering it. I gave you this chance in ICW you did not take advantage of it, I will give it to you again. I would not consider this to be a sign of weakness, far from it, I would consider it self preservation and a smart thing to do.
In a war, a battalion would not go into battle if they new there were no chance of winning, so they wait, they find another avenue, they look for the point of advantage and a point of attack that can help them win the day. For you Candace that day will not be on Everything Ends. So retreat, wait another day, grow internally, grow externally, leave pettiness behind and one day you will be ready, and when you are, I will be waiting, it’ll be a much more balanced match, and perhaps, just maybe you’ll pull out that miracle. They say god works in miraculous ways. Maybe he will do for you what he never did for me and mine.
My time is running out, I feel it, ive been told it, and I hope that I leave a lasting impression on this world of ours, but really I know I did not. There is legend around me, but like all legends, we all get forgotten eventually. Shadow used to say that everything was eventual. How right he was.
I miss my mother, I miss my brother. And I hope with what is left of my heart that are listening, I say a prayer for the dead and hope the dead say a prayer for me.
I guess time is up….
I know deep down that when I pass, I will not be welcome in God's home. And I think I might be ok with that.
Redd walks back to his sofa and sits down, a quiet hush again of the material.
..Fade...to…..Darkness…...
He has on blue jeans, a white tshirt with a black circle on it. He has no shoes no socks. His light brown hair is not combed, it has not been combed in days. Its about 40 degrees outside but he has not turned on the heater inside. The cold floor feels good on his feet. Cold and unforgiving, just the way he likes it.
Now as the year 2020 is coming to an end, I start thinking back. And that is never a good thing for me. I realize that I have never really given SFT nor anyone a full backstory on me, my history, my real history. Sure some know I trained under Legion, that I was one of his dark priests, god knows where the others disappeared to, but someone should of kept tabs on them. They were, lets just say, bad people.
I was born in Duncanville TX, January 2, 1976. My mothers name was Dolores. My father’s name was Joseph, yeah I am a Jr. We were lower middle class. Well let me correct that we were low class. My father’s best friend was Jim. Jim Beam. Jim and my father were inseparable. They woke up at the same time and had a quick breakfast. Lunch was all them, laughing and drinking, they rarely ate anything during his work lunch. Dinner was a relaxing time for him and Jim. But as bedtime grew closer, the angrier he became, you see mom would send Jim away. And my father did not like that at all. My father would get angry. My father would do things to her, and when his anger wouldn't subside. He took it out on me. The next day he would pretend nothing happened. He and Jim were reunited again and that is all that matter. Oh how they would laugh and joke, Jim made the world seem not only bearable but nice. Jim made everything nice.
And so one day my father died, liver gave out, or he slipped and fell, or my mother happened to smother him. Its a gray area, he’s gone now, that's all that matters. I visit his grave very seldom. I will chat with him as only I know how. Mostly we’ll talk about he could have been a better a father. He will tell me he did the best he knew how. I tell him that is not good enough. Not a good enough answer. He stays quiet for a while. He will ask him if he brought his old friend Jim. And answer yes. I will empty the entire bottle on his tombstone. He says thank you. He wishes I would bring Jim more often. And I tell him I do the best that I can. Burn in hell dad. He replies, hows your mom? My father was a bad man. But he was my dad. And sometimes I feel the apple did not fall far from the tree.
Redd gets up and goes to the kitchen. He walks briskly. He goes to the high cupboard and opens it up with his left hand. He reaches towards the back, and brings out a bottle of Jim Beam Black, those who do not know this is an aged Bourbon. It tastes just as terrible as the rest. But taste has little to do with it. Redd grabs a crystal glass, fills it up hallway. He smells it for a moment smiles, and thinks to himself (cheers dad). He drinks it all in one drink and thinks once again (Like father like son). But I am not as twisted as he was, I will not hurt anyone, cept myself. The dark liquid burns in his throat as it goes down. He wants to throw up but only for a moment, and the feeling passes left only with a warm feeling as he gets a little dizzy and not as sad anymore.
He pours a second drink and puts the bottle back in its place. He stands in the kitchen for a moment thinking, those he keeps to himself. He walks back to the sofa and sits down with a hush from his weary body. He gets comfortable and takes a small sip.
So let me continue my story. Went to school in Duncanville, graduated high school. I went to a technical college, forgot what I studied, part time student and I worked at some pizza joints part time, then Denny’s part time, while I was putting myself through school. This is when I had met Shadow. And our story started as friends and we ended as brothers. He was the last bit of family I had left after breast cancer took my mother. And losing them both, affected me in a way that is still with me. I will not say more about them. I do not think I could bare it. Back then, I finally finished my associate degree but by then I did not really care to go on with my field.
I guess when I think about it, Emerson is a lot like me in respect to how our lives were. But he has family, he has his sister he has his son. And that makes him a rich man in my eyes. Because I have no one like that. But that is where our similarities end.
So I bounced around from job to job, trying to find my place. I never did find it. I want to say that even as a little boy I knew I would be bound for something bigger and better. But the truth is, I come from a blue collar family, more trailer park trash than anything else. There is nothing particularly special about me. I am not super smart, I am not the most athletic person. I don't have that inner strength in me most have. To be honest, I am as about as ordinary as you can get. Nothing about me screams talent or genius. But the secret is this, once you have been around so long, and you have seen a lot of things, done a lot of things, then puts you in that place of god. God isn't a deity, its just a guy whose been around a long time. That has seen everything and has done everything. A historian of sorts. I do not have much love for God. I have a grudge against him. A friend once told me that God does not make bad things happen to us, that is the devil or our own free will that causes such things. But I reminded him, that everything and anything that happens is God’s will. So when something good happens we say “Thank you God”, but when something bad happens we don't get to blame him? How does that work, how come he takes our thanks when he makes something good happen but then refuses to take the blame? No, no sir, everything is Gods will, so everything good is due to him, everything bad, is also due to him. Do not make excuses for him, do not let him off the hook. I have a good reason to hold a grudge and no one, and I mean no one will take that away from me.
God was no where to be found when my mother was suffering. He was not around when Shadow was gasping his last breath. No God conveniently was absent then. Some might spout that without suffering there would be no compassion? I would tell them to shut the help up, because you and your family have not suffered.
The Anger Grows in me. I finish my drink and want to smash it against the wall. That seems to be all that I ever feel these days. At least I feel something right?
And my mind thinks on Candace. I honestly had not given her a second thought since I faced her in ICW. She had refused my invitation at the time to come with me to SFT. But I was not angry I have more things in my life to be angry about than her. But eventually she did come here, and I was pleased. She now calls this home. And that too pleases me. But Candace what now? Now you hold the world title. Whats next? Do you plan to create a Universal title and create that and claim that as well? Do you plan to keep that title for 14 months and be the longest reining SFT world champion ever? And if so whats next after that? And after that?
For me its never been about titles. A title has never defined me, nor anyone that was in my circle. We had moved on beyond those confines. It is only when you have nothing and want nothing that you can finally be free, free to do whatever you like. There's more to it of course but that is the closest I can to explain it. I believe in time you will get there, to that place I am describing but for now, you are well cemented in the game. Playing your own games in there.
(Redd gets up and starts walking around his living room)
Sometimes when I get depressed ill sit over by the bay windows, I’ll sit on the floor and just look out through those windows. There's a small river behind me the house and I can see it well. I’ve been meaning to go down there and do some fishing. But there are things in my life I have been meaning to do and never got around to it. I fear I will never walk those 20 yards to do that fishing. And that Candace is an uncompleted life. I have so many things in my life that I have meant to do, but never did it. I meant to get married. But didn't. I meant to be a father one day, but I didn't. I meant to be a good man, but I couldn't. I meant to find my way back to God, but I wouldn't. So on and so on. But that's on me, that is my life. Yours however is different.
You have a man, and may I say a good man who has willingly given you his heart only to have him and his heart used like a chess piece. Jack deserves better, and you know that Candace. As broken as I am,and trust me, I am broken to the point that I cannot be fixed, there is still hope for you. Do not use him, do not abuse him. There are very little people like him in the world, good honest men, do not take that away from him. Do not change him into whatever perverted thing you think you want to make him into. Love him or leave him. Its as simple as that. And if you do not make right by him, then on Everything Ends, you will see me awake. And trust me Candace, you do not want that. You really do not. When I faced you in ICW, I was still in a daze, you do not want to see what I can do to you if I wake up. Better to let sleeping giants sleep.
Redd takes a deep breath.
When my mother was sick, those last few months in the hospital were tough. I rarely left her side, Id sleep on a long chair, shower there, eat in the cafeteria, I had clothes in the closet, I wouldn't leave, nor did anyone ever ask me to, they knew visiting hours no longer applied to me. When she was awake, we would chat, she would tell me stories of when she was a little girl, and listed intently, I wanted to know her stories and keep them close. The nurses and doctors were pushing to put her in a hospice. But it never got to that place. My mother died at 2:42 am, on a Friday. I was left with her the rest of the night, I used a small towel and cleaned her face, kissed her cheek. And I cursed God and begged him to bring her back to me, and when he didn't., I cursed him again. I was alone now. No more family left, cept one. But he wasn't blood, but still I felt like the last person left on the planet. A deep sorrow, a deep loneliness, and I could not imagine a world without her. In the morning they came to ask where mortuary they should take her to. We had made plans but now it was reality. That deep sorrow filled me again and it took a long time for it to leave me, though in reality it never did leave me, it stayed with me, its still with me till this day.
I felt lost. I felt scared. And most of all I felt anger. Such anger. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to make others hurt like I hurt. Does that make sense? Others have nothing to do with my pain and loss, but nonetheless there it was, if I saw someone happy or happy family enjoying a day that only made me angrier. And no matter what I did, that anger only grew.
Broken I am. Broken I will be.
(Redd goes back to the kitchen and serves himself another drink, he takes a drink then flings the crystal glass to the floor, it shatters everywhere, he looks down at his bare feet and understand instantly what a mistake he just made)
I guess I deserve what is about to happen to me. I deserve this pain, I earned it. It is mine and only mine. He starts to walk across the floor leaving a thin bloody trail as he goes. He goes to the bathroom and turns on the shower. He washes his feets blood and glass away, he puts on some sandels.
Everything washes away nice and clean. And we start over. He goes back to the kitchen and grabs a broom from the corner of the kitchen and begins to sweep up. He grabs a dish towel after he is done sweeping, soaks it in a bit of water then begins to clean the floor picking up the tiny bits of glass he missed with the sweep. He soon puts everything away in his place.
Candace you mentioned something in your last promo about me being like Parkinsons. Well I did not peg you as a fortune teller. But when. (he takes a deep breath) Girl you have no idea what you are talking about. None…….
I will not talk about that anymore. Each and everyone of us are sick, some worse than others.
Candace you are a spiritual woman. I respect that. You keep your god close to you, you seem to think you are a goddess now? You are not. A true goddess if such a thing exists is full of grace and love. You have neither. Cept the love of one man. And you don't understand what true love is I supposed. But neither does Jack. If you were a goddess you would set him free. You do not have plenty of love for yourself but none for someone else. I take that back perhaps for yourself and family but none leftover for anyone else. You should let Jack go. I tried to get him to see the light, he refuses to. Jack has a good heart. Do not take that away from him. So very little people left in this world with a good heart, would you really taint his? He is not a pawn on a chess board. You play a game, one which he does not. Candace if have any divinity in you, then let him go. Do the right thing not for you, but for someone who deserves better than the likes of you and me.
When I first met Jack, he was the stepson of Shadow. He was such a good kid. Always listening, always soaking everything up. Very respectful, and he still is today. This world has so very little good in it, I would hate to see the little bit of light in the darkness be extinguished due to you Candace. Don't make the world worse by taking his light away. Let him go, leave him be. If there is any good in you, you wont hurt him, you wont take that beacon of good away. He deserves better.
Love is such a hard thing to get. I mean real love. Love that will make you sick to your stomach, love where the only person you can think about is that other person. That your life seems empty when that person is not around. Love is special, and most of us never really experience it for real.
(Redd smiles a little, he is now wrapping some gauze around his feet, not really feeling the pain anymore)
Oh we’ve all think we’ve been in love before, but its just that we have no clue what real love is, and so we’ll assume that what we feel at that time is love. But its not, no love is so rare that few ever experience what love truly is. And I doubt Jack is in love with you, he just doesn't know any better. None of us do. So take my advice Candace, let good be good, and do not sully it. Lets see how smart you really are and see if you take my advice on this.
(There is small fern in the corner of the room. He waters it every day. And yet rarely has it shown any sign of growth, its like SFT, never growing but staying alive. Redd smiles at this, but at least it still lives, unlike all of the federations that have gone against SFT. They never learn and keep repeating the same mistakes. How unfortunate.)
The house is so quiet, so empty. I always feel so alone, as if I am the last person on earth and when I go out, anywhere and I see people, I feel even lonelier. I feel invisible, like I don't exist, like I don't matter. And its fine really, ive lived a life, im old enough, and if this is as far as I go, that's fine.
(Redd goes to the kitchen and opens the cabinet under the sink with his left hand. He finds the watering vase and grabs it with his left hand, he pulls it out from under the sink, he closes the cabinet again with his left hand and brings the vase out to the sink, he gives it a quick rinse and then fills it half way.)
Candace you seem a very spiritual woman, it seems you are close to your god. I am glad, now a days, most people seem to have lost their faith and in turn lost their way. While I may have no respect for God, I still believe he serves a purpose. To guide people into living the right way. And while I shun God’s warm embrace there are others who truly need it, way more than me. But Candace while I appreciate your faith, it fails you at times. You see the world in all its majesty, in its hard blackness to its beauty and faith. You see the world from a thrown way above. And you seem content with your god and think you walk hand in hand with him. But that faith will fail you. Your god will fail you. As he fails everyone when they most need him. When you step in the ring with me Candace, there will be no god or deity with you. I am that typhoon on that secluded beach, growing over 200 feet tall about to crash on you, and no one can save you, not god, not whatever deity you pray to, no one. And count yourself lucky at that Candace. Had you known me or faced me during my prime, my goodness I was a nightmare. I was unrepentant, unremorseful, and I absolutely hated everyone that stepped in the ring with me. It was like Tyson facing Hearns, the match was over before anyone sat down down.
But now I have grown weak and old, and tired. Right now would be the perfect opportunity for you to beat me. That is if God were on your side. And I know he isn't. Trust me Candace, he is not with you. God is nowhere.
(Redd walks over to the fern and slowly begins to water it, he moves the small leaves around so the entire plant gets a little water, then pours what is left into the base, so the roots can grow strong and keep the fern healthy and alive. He walks back to the kitchen and he still feels a little bit of glass on the floor, but he thinks to himself, I will get to it later.)
Sometimes never gets around right? I said earlier. I had planned to be married and have kids by now. But it never happened with me. My gf is as old as I am and thus she would not be able to have kids anymore. I guess I could adopt. But I have enough children in SFT to deal with then to have to deal with it at night when I need to rest. So I guess I will not be a real. I will have to settle for SFT. And SFT is full of children, each one different than the other, each one needing specific attention, and while I do fail on that, I still try. I cannot give all the attention to one kid and ignore the other.
Right now the petulant child in front of me is you Candace. Candace you were undefeated as IC champion, and now you have the world title. That should be enough. And while you have such great talent probably one of the best wrestlers ive seen in the last 5-7 years. But your ego gets the most of you. You cannot sit there and live with the fact that I beat you once. What of it? I beat you once, nothing was on the line except bragging rights. Nothing is on the line now. When you approached me to face me again. I didn't. know what to think, other than, “she cant let things go.”
Trust me I know that feeling, I can relate. But you still need a decade of experience in SFT to get to where I am. Its not to say that miracles cant happen. Miracles happen every day just not for me.
When SFT faced ICW, I was on the fence as to whether to join or not. Honestly I didn't. care about ICW nor their talent, as I only ever cared about SFT. But a day before the event I went and looked at the talent, I was given info by Rumpke. And the moment I agreed to enter the event, everyone but ICW’s roster knew it was over. Everyone. I mean Jackson Kent, Robert Saints, Cassandra, they must of all rolled their eyes and said to themselves “Well there goes the main event”. It was stupid of me to join that match, for a milisecond my ego got the best of me and I shouldnt of have. I have very few matches left in me, and I shouldnt of wasted it on that match. Candace you are not ready for me yet. Not yet. Given a few years a few wars a few feuds that will change you and make you grow. The secret is you have to not just be willing to lose everything, but in fact lose it altogether. When you have no titles, when you have no options, when you have lost your pride and will to do anything, then and only then might you be ready to face me. In SFT with most past opponents ive been really at 10 percent, with Rumpke maybe 50 percent, and if you Candace want me at a higher percentage, then that's fine, if I were you and intent on facing me Id want to face me at the highest level I can be at. But be weary of that. Should you face me at 70 percent or higher, you will not like what comes your way.
Candace I am a tornado plain and simple, tornadoes come and go and when they touch the ground they are just chaos and destruction. That is what I am, a pure tornado. And I will turn you inside out, not just professionally but personally. I have a way of changing people and most times not for the best.
Some call me a founding father, the last of an age long since extinct, like a dinosaur. And yet this last dinosaur still roams the earth. I am from a time long since forgotten. But if you step in the ring with me you will be taken back to a time way before you were born. And you will see and feel things that you did not even know existed anymore. It will be thrilling for you, but it will not change the outcome.
The outcome is set, and I think deep down you already knew that. You are a smart woman, cleverer than most I’d take it. But being clever wont save you, not from me.
Let me give you some advice, the first time we faced I gave you advice and you chose to ignore it. So be a smart girl this time around and heed my advice, call it a warning.
You saved faced. You challenged me, I accepted it. Let it end there. Give yourself a nice Christmas present and let it end with you walking to the ring but not entering it. I gave you this chance in ICW you did not take advantage of it, I will give it to you again. I would not consider this to be a sign of weakness, far from it, I would consider it self preservation and a smart thing to do.
In a war, a battalion would not go into battle if they new there were no chance of winning, so they wait, they find another avenue, they look for the point of advantage and a point of attack that can help them win the day. For you Candace that day will not be on Everything Ends. So retreat, wait another day, grow internally, grow externally, leave pettiness behind and one day you will be ready, and when you are, I will be waiting, it’ll be a much more balanced match, and perhaps, just maybe you’ll pull out that miracle. They say god works in miraculous ways. Maybe he will do for you what he never did for me and mine.
My time is running out, I feel it, ive been told it, and I hope that I leave a lasting impression on this world of ours, but really I know I did not. There is legend around me, but like all legends, we all get forgotten eventually. Shadow used to say that everything was eventual. How right he was.
I miss my mother, I miss my brother. And I hope with what is left of my heart that are listening, I say a prayer for the dead and hope the dead say a prayer for me.
I guess time is up….
I know deep down that when I pass, I will not be welcome in God's home. And I think I might be ok with that.
Redd walks back to his sofa and sits down, a quiet hush again of the material.
..Fade...to…..Darkness…...
