Family Feuds?

Family Feuds? Nov 1, 2020 12:51:01 GMT -5 Candace likes this

Post by lucasbalkan on Nov 1, 2020 12:51:01 GMT -5

Bright red blood smeared across his face, he gestured towards me, calling me closer. I took a few uncertain steps towards him. He beckoned me closer still.

“Lucas. Come closer.”

I was a little unsure but I walked slowly towards him. I could see a wound on the side of his head, where the blood had come from. He looked very pale, almost grey.

“Dad?”

He nodded but I knew it was him. We’d been in this place before and I knew full well that it was him. I recognised him even though it had been 20 years or so and I knew his voice.

As I got right next to him, I reached out my hand to grab his hand and I found… nothing. His face and his voice disappeared into the void as I awoke.

I sat bolt upright and looked around the room. It was a dream, nothing more. Everything was normal. The clock showed 6.15AM. Empty bottles and cigarette packets were strewn on the floor. My title belt was lying on a chair a few feet away.

This is normal.

Bright red blood across his face and chest, Jay stayed down for a three count at Titans 95. I took his barbs, took his insults and I moved beyond them to destroy him inside the cell. Finally, a proper title defence and a match worth of the title. Violent and brutal and decisive.

Now it is time to move on.

It’s important to be able to draw a line under successes and failures. Most of my life has been characterised by success and failure. I do not dwell upon them but I do learn from them.

However, I am not here to say that you should not hold grudges. I, and my peers in the Flock, absolutely do hold grudges where they are well founded. You see, we don’t hate people because they beat us or because they insult us. No, we hold grudges against those who have wronged us or who represent the values and problems that we despise in the professional wrestling industry.

Now, Jamo, are you in those categories? I’m not sure.

I’ve always held grudges. I’ve not had an easy life and there have been many who have wronged me inside and outside of our industry. It’s almost normal for me to hold onto ill feeling longer than is healthy for any person.

When I fled from Kosovo, I was a child. I had two overriding emotions as I travelling by motorbike and by truck away from everything and everyone that I had ever known. The first was, obviously, fear. I was afraid, I was rushed from my hometown only just before bullets and blood sprayed around the streets that I once walked. I did not know this at the time but I learned more over the years. What was the second emotion?

Anger.

Deep down, I knew that I would not see my family again. I knew that I was leaving my hometown for a long, long time. And that pissed me off.

The fear passed with time, as I grew up and as I became numb to it. I was in many situations that provoked fear but with time, it passed. The anger, however, did not. Quite the opposite. The anger about what happened to me and my family has only ever grown. As I came to understand more about what happened in the days, weeks, months and years that followed, I became enraged and murderous about what happened. I would never be able to exact the revenge that I dreamed of on those Serbian paramilitaries who murdered all those closest to me but that rage and fury has always been a part of me, pushing and driving me to new heights and new levels of determination and brutality inside and outside of professional wrestling.

I look at you, Jamo, and I see a lucky man. I’m not talking about your title reigns or wrestling ability. You are someone who has been lucky in your life.

Lucky to be born in a country that is stable, safe and prosperous.

Lucky to be born into a family where your grandfather was alive to train you in an industry in which he worked.

Lucky to have met someone who wants to marry you and not having them taken away from you.

Lucky to have two healthy, happy children to give you purpose and a legacy.

You are a lucky man.

Am I angry with you for being lucky? No, no more so than I am at the rest of the world. You see, I’ve never turned my anger on myself or those closest to me, but I have directed it at the world as a whole.

In fact, those who have not faced the barriers that I have, and therefore have had a lucky existence, are not necessarily those who I feel anger towards. I feel some degree of pity for them. It might sound crazy to say but you’ll never have the same desire and hunger than I do, Jamo. While you seek “redemption” for your misdeeds in SFT, you will never have the relentless hunger and drive that comes with the disastrous childhood that I had, while you played at becoming a wrestler with your grandfather in sunny Sydney.

While you grew up as normal, I bounced from people smuggler to people smuggler, across multiple countries in Europe and different types of rudimentary accommodation. I met and lost more people than you could imagine before I even hit puberty. I grew up faster and in a more brutal way than anyone that you knew in the shadow of the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House… Lucky.

But luck only takes you so far. Your family, from your grandfather and father, to your wife and brothers and friends, help to push you forward to the heights which you wish to achieve. Having them around you has helped you to remain strong, or be perceived to be strong, in ICW and SFT.

You see, Jamo, this is SFT and not ICW. Having your father speak for you is not impressive when he is just a man with a first name and no importance. Your family and wife and kids might impress or intrigue the audience of the Real Housewives of ICW but it counts for nothing here. Who you fuck, who you father, who fathered you… it means nothing when it comes to what happens when we get in the ring.

We are professional wrestlers. Fighters. Warriors. This is not a soap opera and I will be delighted to slap that understanding into you at Titans.

Of course, it’s good to have people around you and to share common cause with. However, these people do not need to share your bloodline. You see, I have no family. I have no-one who could mentor me or support me like your wife and children do. What do I have? I have peers who have the same principles as me and the same goals. Asriel, Candace, Hera and I are not family but we support each other to support our joint fight, not because any one of us is the top of the tree, like you are with your little Antipodean crew… You never seemed to understand that in ICW, when you assumed that Candace was the “leader” of the Flock. We have no leader, we are not here to push only one person. A rising tide lifts all boats, after all.

In fact, you’ll see soon that what we want is not just good for the Flock but good for everyone. Everyone, that is, who does not stand in our way.

You’ve warned your family off creating new enemies in SFT. Unfortunately, you already have some. The disrespect that you have shown to members of the Flock in ICW will not be forgotten just because your little friends have made their way to SFT. The things that you have done in the past in SFT are not just washed away by you holding the third title of SFT for a while.

To me, this isn’t personal. You’re just another hurdle thrown in my way. Emerson, Apokalypse, Candace (well, kind of…), Jay Impact and you… again. I’ve held this belt for a while now and swatted away all comers, whether or not they have deserved the opportunity to battle for it. You obviously feel that you deserve this title and that despite me beating you easily already, things will be different this time around.

But you see, Jamo, you are so prone to exaggeration.

The Club are not an army. They are a ragtag collection of your friends and relatives who barely step into the ring. You are not a warrior. You are a professional wrestler who has changed how you present yourself more times than the Jerichos and Hardys of the world. You are not a hardcore icon because you hold a hardcore title.

What are you? You are a man and a catchphrase. A fun catchphrase, I’ll give you that, but there’s little more than that to you.

Are you someone who deserves to be the SFT World Champion? We’ll see on Tuesday but I have a sneaking suspicion that I know the answer there. I hope that your desperate last minute workouts don’t tire you out too much before our match…

I’m going to make sure you have a much, much more difficult and violent workout on Tuesday.

I have nothing to prove against you and I do not need the support of others to defeat you again. The Flock will not involve themselves in our match and if you are as impressive and hardcore as you claim to be, you will leave your friends and family section in the back too.

It’s time to find out what the answer is to that question, Jamo, do you deserve it?

I look forward to finding out.