Post by lucasbalkan on Oct 18, 2020 14:07:05 GMT -5
“You’re a wrestler?”
I had been drifting off to sleep in the back of the cab before he barked the question at me.
“Yes. How do you know that?”
“I saw a poster. You don’t look like a wrestler.”
I rolled my tired eyes and shrugged.
“Most gaijin are white skin. Blond or brown hair. You know?”
I grunted back at him and pulled my coat further around me. When the fuck was he going to stop talking?
“So, you’re not a normal wrestler?”
Well, he got that part right at least.
Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling above me as I wrestled with the jet lag that a trans-pacific flight to Tokyo, Japan will give you, it gave me some pause for thought.
My body was not willing to sleep, my mind was fully awake, I would be awake for some time despite it being 4am.
I looked at my phone, nothing important.
In moments like this, it feels like the lack of sleep and the jet lag will last forever. It feels, no matter how illogical, like you will never sleep again. It makes you frustrated, it makes you tense, it makes you angry… none of which help getting to sleep.
But it doesn’t last for ever. Nothing does.
"It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!” Abraham Lincoln, 1852.
This, too, shall pass.
Since my debut in professional wrestling in 2003, I have faced ups and downs. The one thing that is similar about both is that they never last. When things are going well, there’s always some unscrupulous booker or flavour of the month wrestler working towards knocking you from your perch. When things are going badly, there’s always a way to pull yourself back afloat if you grab hard enough.
I’ve recovered from significant setbacks to return to where I sit now. I have ridden out visa issues, personal politics, mental health crises and more. Each of those things could have broken my spirit, could have taken me away from professional wrestling for good. The mental and emotional toll that this industry takes upon us all is profound and a lesser man may have walked away in the fact of all that I have faced inside and outside of the industry.
The mental and emotional issues are not the only ones which this business takes upon us though, are they? Our bodies are battered, bruised and broken throughout our careers. We go from show to show mitigating the extent of the injuries which we receive at each other’s hands but we still show up and do it all again. Through professional wrestling, and non-wrestling fights, I have amassed a collection of injuries as long as my arm but I’ve not let them stop me. Why? Because injuries, while difficult to handle at the time, pass.
Whether it’s a fractured eye socket, damaged ankle ligaments, bone spurs in my elbow, back issues, knee issues, more concussions than I care to remember, I’ve had it all. However, here I am, at the top of the tree.
But it won’t last forever.
There will be a day, perhaps sooner rather than later, where Lucas Balkan will no longer be able to claim the position at the top of the SFT tree. I have spent my life and my career ascending so it is inevitable that there will also be a descension at some point.
As I get older, and further from the fires and fury that have fuelled my life, I consider what the point is. Often. I consider why I continue to put myself through the mental, emotional and physical pain that professional wrestling makes us all endure. I consider whether there is another avenue of life where I would be happier and in less pain.
And I always come to the same conclusion. No. This is where I belong for now. Perhaps I am no longer fighting to reach the top but fighting to stay at the top. Fighting to help to improve the industry, how we are all treated and limit the issues that we all face. I am looking to be challenged by those who are below me on the pyramid but I am also keen to challenge them. I cannot be in the SFT ring forever and I hope that when I am gone, others will have stepped up to take the baton and continue to run.
But I’m not here to talk about my descension, friend. I’m here to talk about yours.
In the worst of all your fears
You have come so far to hear
That in turn they've showered your name
As the laughing stock
Now by fire you must hang
As my word holds course through vein
You will walk to the end of days
I'll gravitate towards you
I will, in the now, hate you
These days are numbered
This close encounter
To the heartland, through the madness
Don’t take it personally, friend, but I don’t like you much. While there are others who I see as long term pretenders to what is currently my throne, I do not see that in you. I see a man who does not take the industry or his opponents seriously. A man who cannot divorce his “comedy” from his professional wrestling. A man who revels in immaturity, pent up sexual energy and pseudo-ignorance rather than concentrating on what he needs to do to reach the top of the pyramid.
You will not take my title from me.
But the real question is, what comes next for you?
You like to promote your purported undefeated streak as a marker of your suitability for the title but I find this a little bit of a stretch. While you did not take the pin, you lost to Emerson and I in the Lethal Lottery. Before that, you lost to Louis Cypher before you were stripped of the SFT Intercontinental Title that my stablemate now holds with far more distinction and dignity than you ever could. Actually, I suspect those words are alien to you...
So, you are either forgetful or you are a liar. While the drones in the SFT crowd might be willing to forget this and while the booking agents may be willing to overlook these false claims, I am not.
You have an impressive record in SFT, for sure. But then, so did Apokalypse… And so did Emerson. And over the years, so did Mya Denton, so did Lionel Kingston, so did Redd. And guess what, those records don’t last and they don’t mean anything once you are in the ring.
So, when I defeat you on Titans and retain my title, what will you say next?
No longer undefeated. No longer impressive. No longer pushing for the World Title.
I’ll move on. I’ll forget all about you and focus on Jamo, a man who has shown he can actually hold onto a title. Another thing that we cannot say about you. The manner of holding onto a title is not the measure of the man or the title, that it is retained is the most important thing. There is no-one more frustrated than me that I did not pound your smirking face into dust on the last Titans and retain the title that way but I did retain it. And once I retain this against you again, I’ll move on.
What will you do?
Will you go the way of some of the others that I have mentioned and abandon ship? Will you walk away with your tail between your legs and skulk back to ICW? Will you laugh and joke and continue like it never happened?
I’m intrigued to see what happens to you. What happens when the clown has the joy and the fun beaten out of him? Can he still try to make others laugh when he is desperately sad himself?
I’m delighted that I get to be a part of that experiment. You see, unlike you, Jay, I have nothing to prove. I am a man who has overcome adversity his whole life. I am a man who has gained respect not from paying customers but from those whose opinion matters. I am a man who has reached the pinnacle of his chosen career path and currently holds the shiny trinket that demonstrates that.
You, on the other hand, have everything to prove. You are simply a would-be funny man who has proven nothing in Strike Fantasy Towers. Forgive me for not caring about your achievements in ICW, which I view these days as more of a Real Housewives of Professional Wrestling show than a serious wrestling promotion. You need to beat me to prove to everyone, including yourself, that you deserve to be where I am.
The problem is, you don’t deserve that.
I got here through an unrivalled hunger and desire. I needed to succeed as I had nothing else.
I did not get to the top of this company or this industry through comedy. I did not win titles and respect by making low-brow jokes and refusing to acknowledge my opponent’s names. I didn’t win titles by dressing up as female wrestlers; to win a women’s title or to make a point. Whatever point that actually is.
As a teenager in SFT, I believe that I understood how to get to the top of this industry more than you do now in your mid-thirties…
As we enter that cell, will you be able to leave the comedy at the door? Will you be able to actually focus on what Lucas Balkan – yes, that’s my name – is capable of and planning to do to you?
I guess, if you are, then you might survive longer than I am expecting you to. Maybe you will surprise me but I profoundly doubt that. Nothing you do surprises me, all you do just continues to strengthen my belief that I was right not to take you seriously as a rival.
That you cannot, for a moment, think about our matches and Candace turning her back on you outside the prism of sex says significantly more about you than I think you realise. You are a boy playing at being a man… playing at being a woman to make some sort of point.
You don’t anger me or offend me, you bore me and I pity you. You do not understand how far you are from the level that you think you are. You don't realise how far you are from being a champion in any sense of the word.
You will never be the one to end my time as champion. You will not be the one to replace me as the peak of this company or the wider industry.
You will lose.
Come Titans, when that cell comes down, it is time for the laughing to stop. It is time for an accomplished, experienced and serious fighter to take the time to wipe that smirk off your face.
You have done well to get here, Jay, but now it is time for your descension to begin.
It is time.
“He missed his flight.”
I shook my head as I spoke to a friend through my cell phone at 5.30am.
“Of course. He’ll still be here though, right?”
“I’m sure he will. He was playing dress up as Candace too…”
I yawned and scratched my head. I wasn’t hugely surprised.
“Yup, makes sense.”
“Yeah, think he needs to get laid. So, are you ready?”
I thought about that for a second. Was I ready for Jay Impact?
“There’s nothing to be ready for. I’m just looking forward to him finally shutting up.”
“Hubris, Lucas. It’s dangerous.”
I smiled, I remembered having this same conversation with her before one of her matches recently, one where she did lose.
“There is nothing to worry about. He is the flavour of the month, a product of the instant gratification generation, explicably given a title shot because someone had to be given it. After Titans, he will be nothing again.”
“This too shall pass, right?”
Indeed.
This too shall pass.
