Post by Jay Impact on Oct 18, 2020 11:09:49 GMT -5
"Flowers blossom with sunshine and mosquitos fly with their lousy wings
Jay will win the World Title, and the timekeeper is gonna do 'DING DING DING'
A guy named Lucas Balkan, whose face looks like a bullet train
Jay will tear him on Titans 95, he will be in a serious pain
So after that match, Lucas is headless and split
With a pile of stiches, and clothes of refit
His ribs will be aching, his chest will be in pain
He will feel like hell, oh crap there's that stain
My name is Jayndice and this is my poetry."
The scene opens inside a wooden room, almost looks like cinematography where a figure who looks like Candace is sitting on the chair in the middle of that room. The rest of the room was empty except the greenscreen at the back. Suddenly we hear the voice in the background of none other than SFT's Rumpke.
Rumpke: Lights, Camera, Action!
The figure unveils her face cover and that was none other than Jay Impact, disguised as himself as an imposter Candace with a full veiled gown from his head to too and putting some lipstick, eyeliners and eyeshades on.
Jayndice: There was a time when it was darkness everywhere, but before that darkness, was light, and before that light was darkness. Each chasing the other like some infinite regression. I have no freaking idea what the hell I'm talking right now. I know that's bullcrap but this is how hypnotize people with my choice of words. I call it eloquence but in reality it is a silverfish gibberish.
Jay clears his throat and continue from his script.
Jayndice: Translucent, transparent, shimmering, gaunt, eyes black as wells, flowing, pearly white, glistening, silvery, wispy, see through, hovering, passing through solid objects, eyes that glowed red, blue haze, smudged, quivering, shaking, trembling, glowing brightly, barely visible, smoky, silhouette, reaching out, stretching, imploring look, beseeching, headless, severed limbs, open black mouth, stares vacantly, levitates, soulless eyes. Holy Heaven! Does anyone have any freaking idea what the hell I'm talking about? No! But I'm proud of what I say even if it is a sky touching nonsense. Because my name is Jayndice and this is my bullcrap.
Rumpke gives thumbs to Jay.
Jayndice: I learned the lesson that, if you are to do my work, what you need is not a sceptre but a hoe like me. I'm an honest hoe, and all my hoes is honest. Women want respect but you know what do I want? Attention! Because I am a hoe. Men were afraid to come near me because I look too spooky with all these dark color mummy stripes that I wear. But I wear these bags not to hide my modesty but to hide my immorality. My knees had been getting weaker and weaker day by day until I met Retard Saddam..
Rumpke: Lucas Balkan!
Jayndice: Yes, Lucas Balkan! The day before my World Title match he offered me some cream pie and I couldn't resist kneeling down myself to receive first shot right on my face and sacrificed the World Title shot instead. I attacked the poor referee from behind, Jay Impact, who has done nothing wrong to me. But why would I do that? Because I'm a hoe. Boo boo! Then Lucas told me that he doesn't think he is better than me yet he is still not ready to f**k with me. So I had to circle my unholiness around Max Damone.
Rumpke: Jack Jones!
Jayndice: Yes, Jack Jones! So Jacky, if you are listening to this then please don't be a bitch to me. Because then I'll have to be a bitch back, and I can do better than you as I'm a certified hoe! Boo Boo!
Jay pauses and does a body spiral like in a pole dance but ends up falling right on his face. Rumpke with all disappointment does a facepalm and then gets into the scene.
Rumpke: Are you okay?
Jayndice: I'm fine, Chucky!
Rumpke: Rumpke!
Jay dusts off of "his" dress and slightly pushes Rumpke away.
Jayndice: Rumpke! Monkey! Funky! Groovy! Smelly! Whatever you are. It doesn't matter. The thing that matters is that Crucial Unicorn (Lucas Balkan) is in a deep deep trouble. He'll be a parody of resigned reasonableness, expression of pained disgust, hands spread in a Gallic gesture of resignation, valedictory wave, salute, shrug...
With all the uttered nonsense Jay spins his body again but before falling like the last time he holds on to the chair immediately.
Jayndice: See? I didn't fall. Because God is so merciful upon my soul and my right ankle too. Ouch! It still hurts from the first fall though. But I don't care about myself as much as I worry about Bullshit Tinman (Lucas Balkan), because in Tokyo Dome, Jay 'Freaking' Impact is going to turn our current SFT Champion into a wizened face and turn his back slightly hunched. Hunch back of nowhere from Courage the Cowardly Dog Show or maybe even worse. Badluck upon badluck as this whole scene is going to be played inside Hell in a Cell, which means there's nowhere to hide and nowhere to run so he has every right to fear, with conciliatory gesture he'll tell Jay to have some mercy upon him. Because with each movement Jay makes in Tokyo Dome there will be the creek of Dullard's (Lucas') bones. He'll have a resigned look of one who knows that his age life will be stopped giving and only take away.
Jay stops as Rumpke hands over a lighter to him as per the script. Jay lits it and goes.
Jayndice: Snoop dog Simpleton (Lucas Balkan), how would it be when you leave the Tokye Dome hunching over your longue chair? Leaning closer to the fire... OUCH!!!
Jay's fingertip gets burned as he foolishly puts his index finger in lighter's flame.
Jayndice: Just like that.. this is how you will lean closer to the fire, edging your hands towards the flames to warm them from the bitter night and the flashbacks of losing his World Championship after he earned some successful fouls to retain it in every single defense. You know what Rumpke? The world seemed no place for this man (Lucas Bulkan); he had enough. This man had stories to tell, experienced danced on his lips like a curious kid. And yet he stayed silent on the explanation of why he is still a World Champion. He retained the title in first defense due to the outside interference. The second defense was sacrificed for 15 seconds creampie, special thanks to Can-Dick. In third defense he escaped the battle with the World Title considering the countout rule as the last resort. As I'm a certified hoe, he's a certified coward. So those listless eyes will now just watch, not telling, fire adorning his skin. There will be a referee in the match but there will be no Candace to lowblow him or to intervene during the match for disqualification as there will be no disqualification. He won't be able to countout to end the match because there will be no countout even if we broke the cell. That's a hurt business of Jay Impact you know? Which mean he can throw Jonah's (Lucas') body to every chain-link fencing possible, tearing and fracturing the inch of his every single bone. Imagines all his bones being meshed like cheese except for one and I'll call that a boner. Because in case you forgot my name is Jayndice and I'm a certified hoe.
Jay throws the lighter back at Rumpke.
Jayndice: Jay Impact leaving the ring with the SFT World Championship will also disintergrate my confidence and I'll most prolly lose my IC Title by the next show if Emerson Embry couldn't do that. Maybe Jay Impact will snatch that from me? He should because he deserves it to be the double champion and bury me with my egoness right here in my own yard. Impact is definitely soon to be a confident authority, dignified, intrigued, urgency, limp subservience, arrogant condescension, boldness, temerity, talkative, gregarious, insensitive, audacity, short tempered, equanimity, frisson, subservient, alert, irritated, frank, disdain, dismay...
Continuing the nonsense, he suddenly becomes aware of the gloomy shadows that followed him in the room and that freaks him out.
Jay Impact: HOLY FATHER! Did you see the ghosts?
Rumpke: Buddy, they weren't ghosts. That were some shadow affects to make this segment look realistic. It came out right from that device there. You just messed up this shot.
Rumpke points his finger to a tiny device that is fixed over the camera for an artificial shadow affects.
Jay Impact: Damn! I almost had a heart attack, buddy!
Rumpke: Alright! Now lets redo this scene.
Jay Impact: BROO!!
Rumpke: What now?
Jay Impact: Bro I peed on myself!
Rumpke: AGAIN?!
Jay raising his gown that is all wet from his ankles all the way to the wooden floor where they're shooting the scene. Rumpke stands up from his direction stool with some cloth and start moping the floor and Jay leaves for the dressing room for change.
