Post by Jay Impact on Aug 23, 2020 14:43:48 GMT -5
Jay Impact and his friend Jose Chismoso are riding along in Impact’s SUV 2019 Nissan Rogue and going for the Road trip from LA to Pheonix to meet Jose's family. Both men are wearing regular sweat t-shirts. Jay is driving the car while Jose is lying down on the back-seat and trying to take some good nap during the road-trip until Jay turns the radio on to tune into some news city news. The news is being casted in Spanish which is a complete alien language to Jay so he tried to tune into some other station but suddenly got stopped by Jose from behind.
Jose Chismoso: No, don't change it!
Jay Impact: Why?
Jose Chismoso: Amo la voz de este locutor de radio (I love this female news caster).
Jay Impact: Cool! I have no clue what's that because I don't speak Chinese.
Jose Chismoso: Spanish, not Chinese. We call this news caster saxy-beech!
Jay Impact: Sexy bitch?!! Haha! That’s insane!
They keep on driving until they are on the 10 freeway, passing some indian casinos. Suddenly Jay notices some silver dot in the rearview mirror and it turned out to be a car with two young ladies in it.
Jay Impact: What these ladies have been doing here right at 2AM?
Jose turns around from the back seat.
Jose Chismoso: Ladies? That is a too moderate word, my frand! They must be hoochies!
Jay Impact: Well how do you know they are hoochies?
Jose Chismoso: Because I feel a disturbance in the force.
That silver car with ladies come closer as Impact starts feeling a bit naughty and cuts them off. He starts having fun with them as they horn from behind trying a way to pass their car forward.
Jose Chismoso: Aay! Dood! What are you doing?
Jay Impact: Relax! I am just having some fun with them.
Jose Chismoso: Mi hermano! We are going to get pulled over.
Jay Impact and Jose Chismoso both start arguing back and forth which makes Jay not to pay enough attention on the road as a California highway patrol-officer creeping on them until the police give them a siren. Jay immediately looks at speedometer which says 103, which makes Impact almost freaked out as he pulled the car over. The girls in the car behind were also pulled over because they were going just as fast as Impact’s vehicle. Jay almost starts sweating and babbling in his mouth about whatever just happened.
Jay Impact: Save us O Heavenly Father!
Jose Chismoso: Jay! You fool! What are you crying for?
Jay Impact: Why shouldn’t I?
Jose Chismoso: Because you are not the one with weed in his pocket, are you?
Jay look at Jose in shock as he runs through in his mind what Jose had just said.
Jay Impact: What the hell? - You got drugs in the car? How come you?
Jose Chismoso: Look ma frando! I told you to slow down, Didn’t I? But noooo! Pecoz you know everything.
Jose starts mocking Jay as the officer who just chceked on the ladies finally comes to Impact’s SUV as they both start rolling their windows down. Trying to air out the car, Jose tries to do mondo fart to take the smell out of the window. The Cops walkover to the window, looks in and see Jay Impact’s face and almost recognizes him as a celebrity.
Cop: Hey! I know you! You’re a...!
Jay Impact: A Professional Wrestler!
Cop: Yes, you are the guy who has been headlines of almost all US based Newspaper for making a historical remark by becoming the first ever ICW superstar to hold onto SFT Intercontinental Championship.
Jay Impact: .. and I have got testicles too, Officer!
Cop: Right! Anyways, that's not my business at the moment. I hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved. So, I need your license and registration, please!
Jay quickly takes out the license and registration papers and hands them over to the officer as the officer gets off of the window and goes back to the car to the girls vehicles. The whole time he is back there Jay starts telling Jose about the officer recognized him from TV and have been light on him so lets have some fun with him.
Jay Impact: Look I don’t care if I may get a ticket but as long as he is not taking the car then lets crack some jokes with him.
Jose Chismoso: What fool? Shut the hell up!
The Cops come back as they both stops babbling and sits straight to their seats like they’ve discussed nothing. The officer again gets to Jay’s window to talk to him.
Cop: So, what were you two doing out here?
Before Jay could say anything to the officer Jose breaks the silence.
Jose Chismoso: Fool, he was testing the suspension.
Jay Impact: Oh mine! You are gonna get me arrested, aren’t you? - Officer I am sorry that’s my friend Jose. He is just trying to get me in trouble - I am really sorry.
Cop: Whatever! So, what’s up with you this week? Who’s ass are you going to kick in SFT?
Jay Impact: Now you are talking, officer. I am having a one on match against... a... Tiigg..
Jay tries to remember the name while he also looks Jose to help him.
Jose Chismoso: Twilight, you fool!
Jay Impact: Yes! Limelight!
Cop: But your friend here said Twlight?!
Jay Impact: Oh, that's what I also said, officer. TWILIGHT! That guy has been on a serious badluck. He is trying hard to win his matches. But there is something that is really stopping that gentleman to reach his goal. You know what's the, officer?
Jose Chismoso: Balls!
Jay Impact: You're not the officer but that's the right answer.
The officer nods his head and gives thumbs up to Jay before takings his head out of the window and goes back to his squad car with Impact’s driving license and swipes it into his computer. The whole time he is doing that he is being yelled at from the back seat of Impact’s SUV by Jose.
Jose Chismoso: Hey Officer! Thank God you have a computer. Last week we stopped in Mexico and that fool had a Rolodex.
The office laughs can be heard easily from the backside as it turns Jose and Jay in some hope. The girls in the car also freaks out thinking that they are gonna come on the TV. The Cop then walks to the hoochies and gives them the ticket and let them go. He then walks toward Impact’s SUV and hands Jay his license and registration paper.
Jay Impact: Thank you, sir!
Cop: Jason, I want you to do me a favor.
Jay Impact: Your command is my wish, sir!
Cop: I want you give the most mortifying, long-winded, side-splittingly, straight-faced way possible beating to your opponent Twlight in your upcoming match. Do you think you can do that?
Jay Impact puts his hand on forehead giving salute to the officer.
Jay Impact: Right as rain, officer! I am classy - Sunlight can never comprehend. If he even dream of beating me he better wake up and apologize to me. I will beat Skylight so tight that if someone stuck a lump of coal up his ass in two weeks he will have a diamond, just like Leaper, Clucky and Apologize.
Jose Chismoso: Officer, he meant Reaper, Rumpke and Hemiellipse. I am his auto-correct.
Cop: Thank you, Jose. Jay, to be honest with you, I award Twlight no points and may God have mercy on his soul. Keep on doing what you do and you have yourself a nice day.
Jay Impact: Wh wha wha!! That’s it? No ticket?
Cop: No ticket!
Jay Impact: But why? How comes the girls got a ticket?
The Cop smiles at Jay and brings his face closer to Jay with a smirk on his face.
Cop: Because they COULDN’T make me laugh.
Jay Impact: Really Officer?
Cop: You don't understand Jay, I've been on the force now for 26 years. This is hands down, the funniest damn traffic stop I have ever been a part of. Do you have any idea how hard it is to give two sluts a ticket while listening to Cops? I damn near pissed myself, I was laughing so hard. This is going in the books as one of the funniest things ever to happen to a police officer, I swear to God. The only story better than this one is a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy that gave him doughnuts.
The officer then starts walking away and just as Impact is about to give ignition to the car Jose takes his head out of the window and yells at Cop.
Jose Chismoso: So does that mean I can keep my weed, officer?
Impact turns around to yell at Jose but it was too late. The Cop is at the window as the scene fades out on Impact's face as he gives himself a face palm while the officer calls Jose to get out if the car.
Jose Chismoso: No, don't change it!
Jay Impact: Why?
Jose Chismoso: Amo la voz de este locutor de radio (I love this female news caster).
Jay Impact: Cool! I have no clue what's that because I don't speak Chinese.
Jose Chismoso: Spanish, not Chinese. We call this news caster saxy-beech!
Jay Impact: Sexy bitch?!! Haha! That’s insane!
They keep on driving until they are on the 10 freeway, passing some indian casinos. Suddenly Jay notices some silver dot in the rearview mirror and it turned out to be a car with two young ladies in it.
Jay Impact: What these ladies have been doing here right at 2AM?
Jose turns around from the back seat.
Jose Chismoso: Ladies? That is a too moderate word, my frand! They must be hoochies!
Jay Impact: Well how do you know they are hoochies?
Jose Chismoso: Because I feel a disturbance in the force.
That silver car with ladies come closer as Impact starts feeling a bit naughty and cuts them off. He starts having fun with them as they horn from behind trying a way to pass their car forward.
Jose Chismoso: Aay! Dood! What are you doing?
Jay Impact: Relax! I am just having some fun with them.
Jose Chismoso: Mi hermano! We are going to get pulled over.
Jay Impact and Jose Chismoso both start arguing back and forth which makes Jay not to pay enough attention on the road as a California highway patrol-officer creeping on them until the police give them a siren. Jay immediately looks at speedometer which says 103, which makes Impact almost freaked out as he pulled the car over. The girls in the car behind were also pulled over because they were going just as fast as Impact’s vehicle. Jay almost starts sweating and babbling in his mouth about whatever just happened.
Jay Impact: Save us O Heavenly Father!
Jose Chismoso: Jay! You fool! What are you crying for?
Jay Impact: Why shouldn’t I?
Jose Chismoso: Because you are not the one with weed in his pocket, are you?
Jay look at Jose in shock as he runs through in his mind what Jose had just said.
Jay Impact: What the hell? - You got drugs in the car? How come you?
Jose Chismoso: Look ma frando! I told you to slow down, Didn’t I? But noooo! Pecoz you know everything.
Jose starts mocking Jay as the officer who just chceked on the ladies finally comes to Impact’s SUV as they both start rolling their windows down. Trying to air out the car, Jose tries to do mondo fart to take the smell out of the window. The Cops walkover to the window, looks in and see Jay Impact’s face and almost recognizes him as a celebrity.
Cop: Hey! I know you! You’re a...!
Jay Impact: A Professional Wrestler!
Cop: Yes, you are the guy who has been headlines of almost all US based Newspaper for making a historical remark by becoming the first ever ICW superstar to hold onto SFT Intercontinental Championship.
Jay Impact: .. and I have got testicles too, Officer!
Cop: Right! Anyways, that's not my business at the moment. I hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved. So, I need your license and registration, please!
Jay quickly takes out the license and registration papers and hands them over to the officer as the officer gets off of the window and goes back to the car to the girls vehicles. The whole time he is back there Jay starts telling Jose about the officer recognized him from TV and have been light on him so lets have some fun with him.
Jay Impact: Look I don’t care if I may get a ticket but as long as he is not taking the car then lets crack some jokes with him.
Jose Chismoso: What fool? Shut the hell up!
The Cops come back as they both stops babbling and sits straight to their seats like they’ve discussed nothing. The officer again gets to Jay’s window to talk to him.
Cop: So, what were you two doing out here?
Before Jay could say anything to the officer Jose breaks the silence.
Jose Chismoso: Fool, he was testing the suspension.
Jay Impact: Oh mine! You are gonna get me arrested, aren’t you? - Officer I am sorry that’s my friend Jose. He is just trying to get me in trouble - I am really sorry.
Cop: Whatever! So, what’s up with you this week? Who’s ass are you going to kick in SFT?
Jay Impact: Now you are talking, officer. I am having a one on match against... a... Tiigg..
Jay tries to remember the name while he also looks Jose to help him.
Jose Chismoso: Twilight, you fool!
Jay Impact: Yes! Limelight!
Cop: But your friend here said Twlight?!
Jay Impact: Oh, that's what I also said, officer. TWILIGHT! That guy has been on a serious badluck. He is trying hard to win his matches. But there is something that is really stopping that gentleman to reach his goal. You know what's the, officer?
Jose Chismoso: Balls!
Jay Impact: You're not the officer but that's the right answer.
The officer nods his head and gives thumbs up to Jay before takings his head out of the window and goes back to his squad car with Impact’s driving license and swipes it into his computer. The whole time he is doing that he is being yelled at from the back seat of Impact’s SUV by Jose.
Jose Chismoso: Hey Officer! Thank God you have a computer. Last week we stopped in Mexico and that fool had a Rolodex.
The office laughs can be heard easily from the backside as it turns Jose and Jay in some hope. The girls in the car also freaks out thinking that they are gonna come on the TV. The Cop then walks to the hoochies and gives them the ticket and let them go. He then walks toward Impact’s SUV and hands Jay his license and registration paper.
Jay Impact: Thank you, sir!
Cop: Jason, I want you to do me a favor.
Jay Impact: Your command is my wish, sir!
Cop: I want you give the most mortifying, long-winded, side-splittingly, straight-faced way possible beating to your opponent Twlight in your upcoming match. Do you think you can do that?
Jay Impact puts his hand on forehead giving salute to the officer.
Jay Impact: Right as rain, officer! I am classy - Sunlight can never comprehend. If he even dream of beating me he better wake up and apologize to me. I will beat Skylight so tight that if someone stuck a lump of coal up his ass in two weeks he will have a diamond, just like Leaper, Clucky and Apologize.
Jose Chismoso: Officer, he meant Reaper, Rumpke and Hemiellipse. I am his auto-correct.
Cop: Thank you, Jose. Jay, to be honest with you, I award Twlight no points and may God have mercy on his soul. Keep on doing what you do and you have yourself a nice day.
Jay Impact: Wh wha wha!! That’s it? No ticket?
Cop: No ticket!
Jay Impact: But why? How comes the girls got a ticket?
The Cop smiles at Jay and brings his face closer to Jay with a smirk on his face.
Cop: Because they COULDN’T make me laugh.
Jay Impact: Really Officer?
Cop: You don't understand Jay, I've been on the force now for 26 years. This is hands down, the funniest damn traffic stop I have ever been a part of. Do you have any idea how hard it is to give two sluts a ticket while listening to Cops? I damn near pissed myself, I was laughing so hard. This is going in the books as one of the funniest things ever to happen to a police officer, I swear to God. The only story better than this one is a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy that gave him doughnuts.
The officer then starts walking away and just as Impact is about to give ignition to the car Jose takes his head out of the window and yells at Cop.
Jose Chismoso: So does that mean I can keep my weed, officer?
Impact turns around to yell at Jose but it was too late. The Cop is at the window as the scene fades out on Impact's face as he gives himself a face palm while the officer calls Jose to get out if the car.
