Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2020 15:34:51 GMT -5
Last minute Heroics
We don't want to do this quickly
We'd rather wait, because we fear our fate.
This is why we won't bend about waiting until the very end..
For our Last Minute Heroics,
If you ask us, we're the best there is,
If you ask us, we'll beat any opponent,
With our Last Minute Heroics, Yeah!
Doesn't matter if we wait until the end,
We'll pretend like we're the protagonist,
Even though we already know that our wins,
Are inadequate, This doesn't matter to us because,
We waited until the very end,
For our Last Minute Heroics,
If you ask us, we're the best there is,
If you ask us, we'll beat any opponent,
With our Last Minute Heroics, Yeah!
One more time!
Last Minute Heroics, Yeah!
Nothing can go wrong, We'll save face,
Because no one will expect anything different from us,
One and done, that's the way of,
Last Minute Heroics, Yeah!
I wrote those short lyrics for Mr. Jackson Kent. A man who is a plain Jane individual, always coming out with a script, a man who is a typical wrestler that relies on "Last Minute Heroics". Most of the time, Jackson, he typically waits until the end of the road to actually do something and when he finally shows up; the guy continually lets himself and his manager down with a subpar attempts. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that he's here just as I'm happy that everyone chooses too be here with us for this Lethal Lottery but I wish that Jackson and a few others would actually push themselves harder. It'd be great if Mr. Kent would try to live up to his nickname, "Big Kent".. I could respect the guy if he struggled to actually become something but for years I've seen nothing but a gigantic piss ant and this is why I have always scoffed at the matches when I'm scheduled against Jackson.
Mr. Kent, isn't a challenge now nor has he ever been one. He'd like for everyone to believe in his "Last Minute Heroics" but this guy has always been nothing more than a whipping boy for someone like me. I'm simply too dedicated to whatever I set my mind on. Some could think that they should bring up, "Hey idiot, you've been a alcoholic and drug addict for two decades, How's that being dedicated?" The honest to gods truth is that I don't want to quit. Would it be a challenge for me to stop these vices? Granted that I've been an addict for many of years?.. Yes, it would be extremely hard. That's a fact but once again, I'm happy with who I am. I require no one's approval for whatever methods I put in place. I don't need anyone's approval if I'm under the influence of alcohol or any other sort of drugs.. These people who always look to judge me, they have the freedom to come at me however they want to but every time someone tries me. They've got to be ready for the possibility that I'm going to hit them back harder. Hell, these individuals need to understand that it's likely, I'll go low against them as well because I'm not the one, who follows any rules. I haven't ever believed in a fair fight and I won't start believing in this concept now believe in this concept, it doesn't matter if I'm stuck in a dull standard match with dry individuals. I'll still find a way to add some spice. I'll throw...
*Rumpke pauses while he raises his hands.*
These hands!... I know that, laughing out loud is suppose to not be used during promos but I'm going to try my luck, Laughing my ass off or maybe a ha ha ha!! (..!.. ^_^ ..!..). Throw hands, must be a mma saying of "Throwing Fists", "Brawling" or even all out WAR! Heck, maybe, it's not an mma thing, hell if I know because I'm not a mixed martial artist.. I honestly don't care what this saying is tied with, but I do find it adorable and funny because this saying sounds like I'm about to see a cat fight, throw hands,.. This saying, makes this guy, Eli Martin, sound like a kid who's trying to be clever, wait, how old is Eli?
(Someone yells "28!"*)
Alright, that makes sense, I'm dealing with a young man that was 8 years old, when I had my first match in SFT. He's not apart of the same generation that I grew up with. Which leads me to believe that this saying, "Throw Hands", could be the new lingo which gets kids off today, hell, I don't know, nor do I care. When I hear this saying; I think of this as a cat fight.. Where kids and women who don't truly know how to throw a punch end up wanting to slap the shit out of their opponents as if that'll do something other than piss an experienced brawler off to where he knocks them into tomorrow..
*The drunk pauses again before he continues on.*
Enough with kids and their idiotic sayings. I'm going to get back to something real, which affects me as well as others here, everywhere; addiction.. I don't want to stop. I'm happy this way, I don't want to quit, would it be a challenge for me to stop using drugs? Yes, that'd be one hell of a challenge because I like them too much, I've always enjoyed losing my senses. Does this make me weak because I enjoy what I do? Does this make me a frail individual who is weaker than any of you for being addicted? If you answered that question with a yes, then, you're a fucking hypocrite! That's all there is too it. Here's the the thing that I didn't mention during those series of questions.. I'm very experienced with addiction itself.. I've dealt with this sort of behavior so much over my life and I understand that.,.. Everyone is addicted to something. There are individuals that must have their coffee or tea so they can stimulate their lives, while others might want to rely on cigarettes. There's some individuals that are addicted to relationships, family, friends, significant others even. These things, can be addictions. Another addiction is food.. There are some people who crave to stimulate their taste buds, yet it's the alcoholics and drug addicts that people want to always cut down. That shit, gets on my fucking nerves. There was a wise individual who once said, "He without sin, cast the first stone." Apparently, there is an awful lot of perfect people living in this day and age or they didn't catch the memo but all of you, perfect individuals here, in SFT now.. Have no fucking foothold or argument against me. It doesn't matter who you are. Your shit, it still stinks, just like mine does and this crap of ours; will always smell bad..
My addiction may, be different from yours, but this doesn't make you any better than me, it never will.. Take Jackson Kent for an example, the guy is addicted to Janie, hell, he doesn't go anywhere without her, it almost seems as if "Big Kent" isn't capable of doing his own thing. Every single promo this guy has, it's always with her and he always has to feed off of her in some way. It seems to me like Jackson isn't capable of walking on his own. He needs someone there, to help him a long the way. Whether it's Janie in promos or Cassandra backstage, this guy seems to be addicted to having a female to prop him up..
Here's what's really funny, this idiot fed off of his manager instigating shoot on me, like a lost little puppy follows any hand that feeds and gives it attention. Hell, the last time Jackson followed his proven failure of a manager, he lost, miserably, to me in a hardcore title match. I know that he's still mentioning that one time where I flew to the wrong city but heck, You'll never hear him discuss MY flawless record against him! The thing this guy doesn't realize when he comes at me is that nothing's changed with my approach to handle his feeble stances, I'll still systematically cut his tall, yet skinny ass down at the knees!
Nothing's changed about our scenario Jackson, you're still the man with out balls, following women, using their actions as an excuse for the decisions you've made. You're still their bitch and you'll always be my bitch! That's just all there is to it man. You honestly should of hoped for me as a partner. I know that I'm losing steam just like I'm aware of the fact that I'm too busy for this battle of wits with you but you sir, are simply an unarmed opponent, a dimwit; Just like a lot of people are against me, Jackson, I could of been one of your best shots of making it past the first round but yeah; You didn't get me on your team, now, I'm going to eliminate your chances of going forward just like I've put a needle to your balloon full of hot air..
After all of the shit I've given you so far, I must also give you a compliment and say that I'm so proud of you for showing up earlier than you usually do. In that aspect, you're ahead of me by a day and half but your shoot, is still simply awful.. Hopefully you'll truly work on that one of these days instead of continuing on with this old generic approach that hasn't done well for you in the past and won't ever get you over the top.. There are so many holes in your shoot, just like I've seen from many characters in ICW. Hell, one of them just won the Intercontinental title, his name is Rom Youngblood. His promo skills are dreadful, much like yours are. I'd rather sit around in complete silence, listening to a clock's tick tock, than to watch the garbage that you two and even the newly crowned ICW United States champion, Destiny Hunter put out.. The three of you are sincerely that awful.. I suspect that Rom Youngblood and Destiny Hunter are new and still learning so hopefully they will develop but you Jackson Kent, aren't new.. You've been around long enough that you should know how to cut a decent promo while delivering adequate shoot! Alright, that's all I've got for this boring sheep, Jackson Kent, for now but knowing how much I like to give this guy a hard time, I could start right back in on him at anytime!
It's time to move onto someone who will try to carry Jackson Kent's dead weight in this match. Eli Martin, I want to pity you for getting such an awful partner but at this time; I'm not able to do so. After this match is all over, once the Accountant and I have moved onto the next round. Then I will have pity for you. I've seen some of your skills and too this day; I'm still trying to find one skill that your partner has and I've been watching him for YEARS! Despite the skills that you've shown thus far in your young SFT career, you will feel the sting of defeat. Your partner has pretty much set you up and now you're operating solo. His attempt to help you was feeble.. Eli, hopefully your back won't hurt so bad after trying to carry the load. You and I, we're both running late, pushing deadline but I know I'm going to show up. The question is, will you or have you already lost hope due to your pathetic partner? Yes, I realize that I've not stopped on Jackson Kent, its just too much fun making this guy get angry. I greatly enjoy when he throws a temper tantrum, refusing to eat his food or tossing chairs around like the last time I pissed him off. Jackson has tried to come back at me harder after I would press his buttons but each time he gets swatted away like a gnat. Ironically this guy is one of the largest individuals in SFT but he's just a big teddy bear, ha ha!
Okay, I'm just going to stop here because I could easily continue giving Jackson Kent shit but I'm starting to feel bad for this poor helpless guy nicknamed, "Big Kent".. As a matter of fact, I'm done with this promo, it's time for me to get to work. Although, here's one more piece of advice for Jackson and Eli; it would be better that you all don't pursue this match any further. It's a hopeless situation for you two. Accountant and I are veterans. We'll work together in this match and get the job done. The harder you guys fight, the worse it'll be on you.
