Post by Jay Impact on Jun 13, 2020 4:30:06 GMT -5
The scene opens up in a locker room. This camera see's that Jay Impact is sitting in a chair and just finished a match at a house show when the door too his locker room abruptly opens. Seconds later, "The Drunk One" Rumpke stumbles in through the door, he trips over a duffle bag on the floor before busting his face on the concrete floor.
Rumpke: Son of a gun! Who's putting stuff in my locker room!?
Jay clears his throat and Rumpke looks up at Jay. The drunk slowly gets up too his feet but loses his balance and falls into the wall before he uses this to brace himself.
Jay Impact: What are you doing in my locker room?
Rumpke's eyes grow wider.
Rumpke: Your locker room?
Jay Impact: Yes, can't you read?
Rumpke: Of course I can but I'm not sure about you since you're in my locker room..
Jay Impact: Are you drunk?
Rumpke: What kind of question is that? Of course I am!
Jay Impact: Okay.. Then let me be a little polite with you which I am often not with the strangers. Come here and look at the sign on the door!
Jay walks over to the door and Rumpke staggers as he follows Jay Impact outside of the locker room. Jay Impact looks at Rumpke with a cocky expression and points to the name tag on the locker room door.
Jay Impact: See, this says "Jay 'Your Father' Impact"..
Rumpke squints as he reads the paper while his body weaves back and forth.
Rumpke: I'm pretty sure that reads, "Rumpke".. Why don't you look at it a little closer. Or are you willing to take advantage of my drunkenness and manipulate things for me?
Jay finally looks at the paper too see that his name has been marked out and that Rumpke's name is written above. Jay looks back at Rumpke in disbelief.
Jay Impact: You marked my freaking name out?!
Rumpke: I don't know what your talking about.
Jay Impact: Look buddy, I just finished off a match and so TOTALLY tired. Don't make me more frustrated than I am and get out of my locker room .. NOW!
Jay yells at Rumpke but he ignores the words and takes a big potate of alcohol from the bottle before burping right at Impact's face.
Rumpke: BRUUUAAAHHRP!!!!
Jay Impact: Son of a .... SECURITY! SECURITY!
Jay shouts for the security to come to his lockerroom and take Rumpke out of there.
Rumpke: Why in the hell are you calling for security to come? Don't you see that this is my locker room!?! They will escort you away!
Jay Impact: This... Isn't...
Frustrated, Jay rips the name tag with Rumpke's name off of the door to reveal a slide in name plate that says "Rumpke" but Jay has failed to see this due to his eyes being locked in on Rumpke!!
Jay Impact: Your locker room!!
Rumpke squints while he tries to read the nameplate.
Rumpke: Hey Jay..
Jay Impact: Yes!?
Rumpke: What does this say?
Rumpke points to the nameplate with his name on it.
Jay Impact: Son of a..
Jay sighs but this only lasts for a moment before he becomes more animated.
Jay Impact: You planted that nameplate here also! You're a dirty scoundrel and you aren't going to get my locker room!
Jay removes the nameplate and tosses it down the hallway! Rumpke sways back and forth, left and right while he looks into Jay's eyes. Suddenly a loud fart is heard.
Rumpke: You see what time is it now? Its TOILET TIME!!! Oh yeah!!
Jay Impact: God! This smell!! That just burned the hairs in my nostrils. I am not letting you use my toilet.
Rumpke: When did I tell you that I am gonna use yours? I will use mine. My room, my fart, my rules!
Rumpke gives a slight push on Jay's shoulder and walks up to the bathroom which was actually the store room.
Jay Impact: Yeah! See! You don't even know where the bathroom is. Enough to prove that you are IN MY LOCKER ROOM.
Rumpke: Look butthead, we can settle this in a peaceful way. What if you walkout from here peacefully and I will reward you this bottle of bear.
Rumpke keeps wobbling left and right while looking into Jay's eyes and taking a few sips from the bottle.
Jay Impact: Hey! Look! A flying car!!!
Rumpke: WHERE?!
Rumpke turns around as Jay locks him from behind into a sleeper-hold to knock him out and slowly drags him near the lockerroom door to throw him out and quickly locks the door. Rumpke keeps on beating the door and yelling at Jay until there is a long pause as Jay sweats himself off of his forehead. He takes a deep breath, walks to the mirror in his room and starts babbling to himself.
Jay Impact: Phew! That was one crazy son of a stripper. Jay, how many times I have told you to always lock the door when you enter but you won't listen, would you?
Jay Impact (Mirror): That wasn't my fault dude. People here should be a lot more careful about the personal spaces and privacy.
Jay Impact: Okay! Okay! I take it on a face value but make sure to lock your door first the moment you enter this room. God alone knows how many drunkards are out there in SFT. Damn! I miss ICW.
Jay Impact (Mirror): Yeah, me too! By the way, what was this guy's name? Junkie?!
Jay Impact: No, I think it was Chunky!
While Jay was talking to himself, his door gets slammed a couple of times from the outside.
Rumpke: Not Chunky! Not Junkie! It is RUMPKE .. you son of a ******! Let me in!
Jay Impact: Go try your luck somewhere else, buddy!
Rumpke: Who else is there in the room besides you? I have heard you talking to some dude in there.
Jay Impact: That was me, myself!
Rumpke: WHAT?! You have got a twin?
Jay Impact: Yeah! I have got a twin who is standing right beside me in the mirror and if you keep messing with us then we are gonna take you inside and play a game with you called "Gang Bang Chunky!"
Rumpke: Gang Bang RUMPKE!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Whatever! Later! Try your luck somewhere else.... DRUNKEE!!!
Jay walks up to a side room table and grabs a bottle of juice and locks it with his mouth taking it all down to his throat in one good potation. The moment Jay finishes the juice another knock is heard on his lockerroom's door but this time in a little polite way.
Jay Impact: I am dumb, deaf and blind, Rusty!
A Woman: What?! Jay, open the door, its me Candace!
Jay Impact: Monkey, you pretending to be Candace won't make me open the door. Guess what? This was a good trick but this door is a gateway to hell for you.
Candace: Is this how you talk a woman, Jay?
Jay Impact: Damn! That really sounds like Candace!
Jay puts the bottle down and rushes for the door to open it. He sneaks outside and grabs Candace from her fist and pulls her inside before locking the door again.
Candace: What is happening around here?
Jay Impact: What the hell are YOU doing here? Did he sent you?
Candace: You are not supposed to ask this question. You were the one who texted me about this whole idea of Lethal Lottery stuff going on in SFT and inclined me to join that with you. And why weren't you receiving my calls?
Jay Impact: Shit! I might have not listened to my phone. You know that drunk guy who eliminated himself in that elimination match at Good Abundance...
Candace: Bad Abundance!
Jay Impact: Yeah! That show.. The guy invaded my lockerroom and I was busy dealing with him while you were calling and finally got some luck to throw him out.
Candace: You are talking about Rumpke?
Jay Impact: Yeah him! If you entered this place five minutes ago you would see it as 1985's alternated timeline from Back to the Future II, where Biff Tannen becomes a millionare. Jeez!
Candace: Well I am glad I am into the right timeline. Besides, I think you need to be a lot more concerned about your match for Titans. Do you even remember who are you teaming up with and wrestling against who?
Jay Impact: Yes I do! I do! I am neither drunk nor dumb. I am teaming up with the guy known as .... damn it! I forgot his name... what was that? .. Yes, Dino Rhino!!!!
Candace: Reno Destiny!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Him! That's him. Reno Destiny! I just nicknamed him that way. His face features reminded me of Darren Maddox but heck I am sure he is not as dumb as Maddox. When I took the feedback from the guys at backstage about him they praised him so well. But that doesn't mean that Jay Impact really needs to get the job done with someone's help. Since Acilino Density loves to...
Canadce: Reno Destiny!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Reno Destiny! Since he loves to no show so alot of the guys are actually expecting it to be a handicapped match or a total no show? Lance Cade seems to have a...
Candace: Its Louis Cypher!
Jay Impact: Yeah him! Louis Cypher, he seems to have a big problem with Deno Restiny (Reno Destiny) that he can't spare 20 minutes a week for a match. Hell yeah, buddy! What if he spends that 20 minutes with your wife? Oh you haven't got a wife? Is that because you haven't got the balls? Well I do have them and utilized their power to actually beat the hell out of Creeper...
Candace: Reaper!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Reaper! I beat the hell out of him at Bad Abundance in order to capture my firstever SFT Intercontinental Championship and this is not it but I also cultivated it for ICW and it gave birth to an ICW Intercontinental Championship. I have been honored to hold two championships that belong to different federations simultaneously. Oh man! That hurts, that hurts right at your rectum. Why rectum? Because you haven't got the testicles remember? This is why you were forced eat dirt not once but twice at that night. First you failed to capture the ICW United States Championship and later on got shamelessly eliminated by this Maleficent Candace!
Candace: Its MAGNIFICENT Candace. But I was Maleficent at that night so I can take that too.
Jay Impact: YES! That is what I am talking about. If you stay here I will definitely talk to the staff about giving you a Women's Championship shot.
Candace: They haven't got the Women's title. Do they?
Jay Impact: Eh! Well! Yes! I mean no they don't. Jeez! Nevermind! So back to the real deal. The only way for Leiberman Scratcher and Jabberwockey..
Candace frustratingly listening to Jay but patiently corrects him on the names.
Candace: Louis Cypher and Jamo!
Jay Impact: Yeah them! Louis Cypher and Jamo, the only way they are going to win this match is if me and Creamo (Reno) go so harsh on them that we end up knocking their skulls down with steel chairs and referee is left with no choice but to call for the bell. The match will end as a disqualification and they will proceed for the next round. But this sounds even more scary you know why?
Candace: Why?
Jay Impact: Because this will put the whole SFT lockerroom on a notice that even though Jay Impact isn't a zombie he loves to crack some skulls, take the brains out and try the brain fry recipe for his dinner. But it will also help me solve one mystery. Breaking Jagwacker's (Jamo's) head will help me discover whether Jamo actually got the brain in his head or is it all peanuts that are stuck inside that reads "Jajaja" as in Mexican Laughter. Shit dude! I feel bad for Ludaah Cabbage (Louis Cypher) for having ...
Candace: Jamo!
Candace keeps cutting off Jay to make sure he says the right names.
Jay Impact: Yeah! Having Jamo as his tag team partner. I mean this Lethal Lottery show is seriously Lethal that can throw any dumb fella at you and you can do nothing about it. Hell, I would prefer sleeping in the bed and dreaming about how I am peeing in the bathroom and making my bed wet rather than dreaming about teaming up with Jamo and his kinds. I am still thankful that I've got a wonderful tag team partner named ...
Candace: Reno!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Reno! I was about to say that. He showed up, he talked, he bulldozed both of them in his promo and I believe his magic is going to work in the ring during our match and he will chop off the third legs of both guys to prove his point.
Candace: Wait! What do you mean by THIRD legs?
Jay Impact: Sorry about that! The conversation went a little Rated R! Hey, you have been standing here for too long. Why don't you take a seat?
Candace feels quite of a suffocation in the room due to Rumpke farting there a couple of times earlier, making the room's environment a little worse.
Candace: No! I will leave for now and come back later. Your room smells creepy. Have you eaten too many of boiled eggs for your lunch?
Jay Impact: Well!!... That guy I told you about.. Ruffle Shuffle or whatever his name is. He might have.
Candace: Rumpke! Oh okay I get it now. I hope you have got a room freshener here. If not, then you can borrow one from me.
Jay Impact: Don't worry, my room is in good hands. Later!
Candace turns around and leaves the lockerroom as Jay opens up his locker and takes out a Fragrant Room mist bottle and sprays it around the locker room before the scene closes.
Rumpke: Son of a gun! Who's putting stuff in my locker room!?
Jay clears his throat and Rumpke looks up at Jay. The drunk slowly gets up too his feet but loses his balance and falls into the wall before he uses this to brace himself.
Jay Impact: What are you doing in my locker room?
Rumpke's eyes grow wider.
Rumpke: Your locker room?
Jay Impact: Yes, can't you read?
Rumpke: Of course I can but I'm not sure about you since you're in my locker room..
Jay Impact: Are you drunk?
Rumpke: What kind of question is that? Of course I am!
Jay Impact: Okay.. Then let me be a little polite with you which I am often not with the strangers. Come here and look at the sign on the door!
Jay walks over to the door and Rumpke staggers as he follows Jay Impact outside of the locker room. Jay Impact looks at Rumpke with a cocky expression and points to the name tag on the locker room door.
Jay Impact: See, this says "Jay 'Your Father' Impact"..
Rumpke squints as he reads the paper while his body weaves back and forth.
Rumpke: I'm pretty sure that reads, "Rumpke".. Why don't you look at it a little closer. Or are you willing to take advantage of my drunkenness and manipulate things for me?
Jay finally looks at the paper too see that his name has been marked out and that Rumpke's name is written above. Jay looks back at Rumpke in disbelief.
Jay Impact: You marked my freaking name out?!
Rumpke: I don't know what your talking about.
Jay Impact: Look buddy, I just finished off a match and so TOTALLY tired. Don't make me more frustrated than I am and get out of my locker room .. NOW!
Jay yells at Rumpke but he ignores the words and takes a big potate of alcohol from the bottle before burping right at Impact's face.
Rumpke: BRUUUAAAHHRP!!!!
Jay Impact: Son of a .... SECURITY! SECURITY!
Jay shouts for the security to come to his lockerroom and take Rumpke out of there.
Rumpke: Why in the hell are you calling for security to come? Don't you see that this is my locker room!?! They will escort you away!
Jay Impact: This... Isn't...
Frustrated, Jay rips the name tag with Rumpke's name off of the door to reveal a slide in name plate that says "Rumpke" but Jay has failed to see this due to his eyes being locked in on Rumpke!!
Jay Impact: Your locker room!!
Rumpke squints while he tries to read the nameplate.
Rumpke: Hey Jay..
Jay Impact: Yes!?
Rumpke: What does this say?
Rumpke points to the nameplate with his name on it.
Jay Impact: Son of a..
Jay sighs but this only lasts for a moment before he becomes more animated.
Jay Impact: You planted that nameplate here also! You're a dirty scoundrel and you aren't going to get my locker room!
Jay removes the nameplate and tosses it down the hallway! Rumpke sways back and forth, left and right while he looks into Jay's eyes. Suddenly a loud fart is heard.
Rumpke: You see what time is it now? Its TOILET TIME!!! Oh yeah!!
Jay Impact: God! This smell!! That just burned the hairs in my nostrils. I am not letting you use my toilet.
Rumpke: When did I tell you that I am gonna use yours? I will use mine. My room, my fart, my rules!
Rumpke gives a slight push on Jay's shoulder and walks up to the bathroom which was actually the store room.
Jay Impact: Yeah! See! You don't even know where the bathroom is. Enough to prove that you are IN MY LOCKER ROOM.
Rumpke: Look butthead, we can settle this in a peaceful way. What if you walkout from here peacefully and I will reward you this bottle of bear.
Rumpke keeps wobbling left and right while looking into Jay's eyes and taking a few sips from the bottle.
Jay Impact: Hey! Look! A flying car!!!
Rumpke: WHERE?!
Rumpke turns around as Jay locks him from behind into a sleeper-hold to knock him out and slowly drags him near the lockerroom door to throw him out and quickly locks the door. Rumpke keeps on beating the door and yelling at Jay until there is a long pause as Jay sweats himself off of his forehead. He takes a deep breath, walks to the mirror in his room and starts babbling to himself.
Jay Impact: Phew! That was one crazy son of a stripper. Jay, how many times I have told you to always lock the door when you enter but you won't listen, would you?
Jay Impact (Mirror): That wasn't my fault dude. People here should be a lot more careful about the personal spaces and privacy.
Jay Impact: Okay! Okay! I take it on a face value but make sure to lock your door first the moment you enter this room. God alone knows how many drunkards are out there in SFT. Damn! I miss ICW.
Jay Impact (Mirror): Yeah, me too! By the way, what was this guy's name? Junkie?!
Jay Impact: No, I think it was Chunky!
While Jay was talking to himself, his door gets slammed a couple of times from the outside.
Rumpke: Not Chunky! Not Junkie! It is RUMPKE .. you son of a ******! Let me in!
Jay Impact: Go try your luck somewhere else, buddy!
Rumpke: Who else is there in the room besides you? I have heard you talking to some dude in there.
Jay Impact: That was me, myself!
Rumpke: WHAT?! You have got a twin?
Jay Impact: Yeah! I have got a twin who is standing right beside me in the mirror and if you keep messing with us then we are gonna take you inside and play a game with you called "Gang Bang Chunky!"
Rumpke: Gang Bang RUMPKE!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Whatever! Later! Try your luck somewhere else.... DRUNKEE!!!
Jay walks up to a side room table and grabs a bottle of juice and locks it with his mouth taking it all down to his throat in one good potation. The moment Jay finishes the juice another knock is heard on his lockerroom's door but this time in a little polite way.
Jay Impact: I am dumb, deaf and blind, Rusty!
A Woman: What?! Jay, open the door, its me Candace!
Jay Impact: Monkey, you pretending to be Candace won't make me open the door. Guess what? This was a good trick but this door is a gateway to hell for you.
Candace: Is this how you talk a woman, Jay?
Jay Impact: Damn! That really sounds like Candace!
Jay puts the bottle down and rushes for the door to open it. He sneaks outside and grabs Candace from her fist and pulls her inside before locking the door again.
Candace: What is happening around here?
Jay Impact: What the hell are YOU doing here? Did he sent you?
Candace: You are not supposed to ask this question. You were the one who texted me about this whole idea of Lethal Lottery stuff going on in SFT and inclined me to join that with you. And why weren't you receiving my calls?
Jay Impact: Shit! I might have not listened to my phone. You know that drunk guy who eliminated himself in that elimination match at Good Abundance...
Candace: Bad Abundance!
Jay Impact: Yeah! That show.. The guy invaded my lockerroom and I was busy dealing with him while you were calling and finally got some luck to throw him out.
Candace: You are talking about Rumpke?
Jay Impact: Yeah him! If you entered this place five minutes ago you would see it as 1985's alternated timeline from Back to the Future II, where Biff Tannen becomes a millionare. Jeez!
Candace: Well I am glad I am into the right timeline. Besides, I think you need to be a lot more concerned about your match for Titans. Do you even remember who are you teaming up with and wrestling against who?
Jay Impact: Yes I do! I do! I am neither drunk nor dumb. I am teaming up with the guy known as .... damn it! I forgot his name... what was that? .. Yes, Dino Rhino!!!!
Candace: Reno Destiny!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Him! That's him. Reno Destiny! I just nicknamed him that way. His face features reminded me of Darren Maddox but heck I am sure he is not as dumb as Maddox. When I took the feedback from the guys at backstage about him they praised him so well. But that doesn't mean that Jay Impact really needs to get the job done with someone's help. Since Acilino Density loves to...
Canadce: Reno Destiny!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Reno Destiny! Since he loves to no show so alot of the guys are actually expecting it to be a handicapped match or a total no show? Lance Cade seems to have a...
Candace: Its Louis Cypher!
Jay Impact: Yeah him! Louis Cypher, he seems to have a big problem with Deno Restiny (Reno Destiny) that he can't spare 20 minutes a week for a match. Hell yeah, buddy! What if he spends that 20 minutes with your wife? Oh you haven't got a wife? Is that because you haven't got the balls? Well I do have them and utilized their power to actually beat the hell out of Creeper...
Candace: Reaper!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Reaper! I beat the hell out of him at Bad Abundance in order to capture my firstever SFT Intercontinental Championship and this is not it but I also cultivated it for ICW and it gave birth to an ICW Intercontinental Championship. I have been honored to hold two championships that belong to different federations simultaneously. Oh man! That hurts, that hurts right at your rectum. Why rectum? Because you haven't got the testicles remember? This is why you were forced eat dirt not once but twice at that night. First you failed to capture the ICW United States Championship and later on got shamelessly eliminated by this Maleficent Candace!
Candace: Its MAGNIFICENT Candace. But I was Maleficent at that night so I can take that too.
Jay Impact: YES! That is what I am talking about. If you stay here I will definitely talk to the staff about giving you a Women's Championship shot.
Candace: They haven't got the Women's title. Do they?
Jay Impact: Eh! Well! Yes! I mean no they don't. Jeez! Nevermind! So back to the real deal. The only way for Leiberman Scratcher and Jabberwockey..
Candace frustratingly listening to Jay but patiently corrects him on the names.
Candace: Louis Cypher and Jamo!
Jay Impact: Yeah them! Louis Cypher and Jamo, the only way they are going to win this match is if me and Creamo (Reno) go so harsh on them that we end up knocking their skulls down with steel chairs and referee is left with no choice but to call for the bell. The match will end as a disqualification and they will proceed for the next round. But this sounds even more scary you know why?
Candace: Why?
Jay Impact: Because this will put the whole SFT lockerroom on a notice that even though Jay Impact isn't a zombie he loves to crack some skulls, take the brains out and try the brain fry recipe for his dinner. But it will also help me solve one mystery. Breaking Jagwacker's (Jamo's) head will help me discover whether Jamo actually got the brain in his head or is it all peanuts that are stuck inside that reads "Jajaja" as in Mexican Laughter. Shit dude! I feel bad for Ludaah Cabbage (Louis Cypher) for having ...
Candace: Jamo!
Candace keeps cutting off Jay to make sure he says the right names.
Jay Impact: Yeah! Having Jamo as his tag team partner. I mean this Lethal Lottery show is seriously Lethal that can throw any dumb fella at you and you can do nothing about it. Hell, I would prefer sleeping in the bed and dreaming about how I am peeing in the bathroom and making my bed wet rather than dreaming about teaming up with Jamo and his kinds. I am still thankful that I've got a wonderful tag team partner named ...
Candace: Reno!
Jay Impact: Yeah! Reno! I was about to say that. He showed up, he talked, he bulldozed both of them in his promo and I believe his magic is going to work in the ring during our match and he will chop off the third legs of both guys to prove his point.
Candace: Wait! What do you mean by THIRD legs?
Jay Impact: Sorry about that! The conversation went a little Rated R! Hey, you have been standing here for too long. Why don't you take a seat?
Candace feels quite of a suffocation in the room due to Rumpke farting there a couple of times earlier, making the room's environment a little worse.
Candace: No! I will leave for now and come back later. Your room smells creepy. Have you eaten too many of boiled eggs for your lunch?
Jay Impact: Well!!... That guy I told you about.. Ruffle Shuffle or whatever his name is. He might have.
Candace: Rumpke! Oh okay I get it now. I hope you have got a room freshener here. If not, then you can borrow one from me.
Jay Impact: Don't worry, my room is in good hands. Later!
Candace turns around and leaves the lockerroom as Jay opens up his locker and takes out a Fragrant Room mist bottle and sprays it around the locker room before the scene closes.
