Post by 💀 ＡＰＯＫ 💀 on Jun 9, 2020 13:54:03 GMT -5
Beginning.
Prior to last week's Titans… I saw a future where Rumpke had defeated me… and it was a better world. My loss was prophesied and I allowed it to happen. While the world witnessed Rumpke have his arm raised in victory… the truth is that he did NOT defeat me. He was able to add a notch in his W column because I willed it into existence. I am STILL your Strike Fantasy Towers Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of the World. I am STILL most likely to win the 2020 Lethal Lottery Tournament. I am STILL the future World Heavyweight Champion of the World.
Our current champion is a man named Emerson. Nobody has even come close to defeating him for his championship. Now that he has entered this tournament, his loss next week to me will unfortunately NOT be for his championship. That's probably for the best… as I want my title win to be on pay per view… and not in the first round of a silly tournament. I say that it's silly because… let's face it… nobody knows what's at stake. Not the fans. Not the wrestlers. Not even the suits in charge of this tournament. Is it a title shot? Is it a trophy? Is it a new title? Is it a million dollars? Nobody knows! This tournament was pulled out of someone's ass… and we all have to accept that we're all basically fighting for nothing. Emerson is usually fighting for his title… and now he's fighting for… nothing. I'm sure he'd rather be sitting on his ass eating snacks all day.
Ah… yes… snacks. Here is a man… a champion… who devotes his life to… food. What is it with YOU people in SFT rambling on about food? Is there really nothing else to worry about than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? This is the Lethal Lottery Tournament! Let's all get hyped! This is an annual tradition with some of the biggest stars in history walking out as winners! Actually… I can't find any information on past winners… or how many years this tournament has happened. Talk about piss-poor management. Why am I even bothering with this? I won a similar tournament five years ago… and it was the easiest month of my career.
I feel like this tournament will be no different. My partner right off the bat is a time traveller called Twilight. Of all the victims who have fallen on my path of destruction… I rank him in the top two, right behind Jack Jones. Twilight is a strong fighter and I was relieved when I saw that he was randomly picked as my partner. I've seen up close what he can do… and we'll be a great team next week. On the other side of this contest is Emerson, as I mentioned… and a man called Saint Jude. I have not had the pleasure of defeating him… yet… and there's not much to say about him… yet. I think he just returned at Titans 83, where he won a quick match against Jack Jones. What an impressive return match… and eerily similar to my debut here. The difference between us is that I am a monster and he is just a man. He is no saint. He's just… a man.
Emerson has questioned my motivates for being here and doing what I'm doing. He asked twenty-one questions to get to know me better. I am doing this because it needs to be done. I am here to right all of the wrongs. Day by day… the world grows closer to its reckoning. Then I can finally take a nap. I've been awake for what feels like eternity… but I've never seen clearer. Emerson and Jude MUST be defeated. Twilight and I MUST advance into the next round. It is the only way to save the Earth from total annihilation. If you thought I was the end of everything… you're in for one hell of a surprise!
I cannot divulge any pertinent information on the impending destruction of our planet… but I can tell you that I am the only hope that the majority of us survive what's coming. If Emerson and Jude defeat me and Twilight… THEY are to blame for the lack of defense against the end of days. That makes US the good guys here. Whoa! Where are our opponents going to be? Emerson will hide behind snacks and his World Title. Jude will probably hide behind snacks and God. Twilight says that Jude's faith is failing… and that's unfortunate. When he falls victim to the almighty Apokalypse… then his faith will be destroyed and he will be stronger because of me. To ensure my continued success…
Two masked men of the same exact build walk into the shot, one on either side of Apocalypse.
I would like to introduce the world to my denizens. This man is Skull. This man is Bones. They have been contracted through their eternal souls to stand by my side and to aid me on my quest to destroy this company and rebuild it in my own image. They were ready for action last week, but I chose to keep them at bay until after the match with Rumpke. Now it is time for them to stand guard and assist me on my quest.
He turns to the masked men, one at a time.
Skull, are you ready? Bones, are you ready?
They nod their heads simultaneously.
Then prepare your minds and your bodies for war. I will prepare your souls… as they belong to me. Next Tuesday in Montreal… Apokalypse and Twilight WILL defeat Saint Jude and Emerson. That is an absolutely undeniable truth. The sooner this truth is accepted… the sooner Twilight and I will enter round two of the 2020 Lethal Lottery Tournament. Individually we can hold our own in a fight. Together we will be unstoppable. I am honored to stand side-by-side with a timelord. If only he were able to travel to the future… then he would see that the finals of this tournament come down to him and I...
Ending.
