Post by 💀 ＡＰＯＫ 💀 on May 8, 2020 14:16:40 GMT -5
a l p h a
"The year was 2020. I was a bad ass pro wrestler, signed to Strike Fantasy Towers. You may have heard of it. I was undefeated as fuck. Nobody could beat me. Few even tried. In a matter of months… I beat all twelve guys on the roster and won all three titles. I defended them against nobody because none of them were worthy. One by one… they all proved to be less than Apokalypse. They were all worms and I was a fire breathing dragon."
"Jack Jones. Jamo. Reaper. Robert Saints. Twilight. Louis Cypher. The first half dozen to fall to the almighty Apokalypse… but only one of those happened at the very super special edition of Friday Night Inferno. It was built up like a monumental event. Something the world had never seen before. What happened was two basic matches where nobody important won… and then an absolute train wreck between Apokalypse and Twilight."
"Apokalypse was the train. Twilight was the baby duck on the track. Okay. I exaggerated when I said it was a train wreck. What happened was simple. Train. Murdered. Duckling. The end. Apokalypse was victorious. As always. Twilight moped on back to his time machine, off on another adventure to the wild west or some shit."
"The year was 2020."
"I was inevitable."
Apokalypse lets out a gnarly fart.
"I should… probably edit that out. Damn!"
"Did you just shit your pants?"
That's an unknown guy. His name doesn't matter.
"A little bit."
"You taking a break from the promo?"
"Yeah."
"Cool. So, I don't get the past tense stuff. What's that about?"
"I was poking fun at Twilight. He's some kind of time traveler. He's always telling POV stories like he's lived many lives and been different people… or something. I don't get it really."
"He's not as simple as big bad guy beating up other guys. That's a classic."
"Apokalypse is what SFT deserves right now. Maybe one day I'll dig deeper… but for now… this is what they're going to get."
"How long can you keep the act going?"
"As long as it takes. I wasn't kidding when I said I would hold all three belts simultaneously. A few days after Inferno… phase one. That's where I'm going to win the Intercontinental Championship. Then… I've got Rumpke in my crosshairs. Then… Emerson Embry."
"That's an ambitious plan."
"It's all I've got. I've racked up so many belts over the years… but it's never enough. I need… more."
"I don't get it, man. You've got so much going on… and SFT is how you spend every other Tuesday."
"And randomly… also my Friday. That's where I'm going to put Twilight to sleep. Permanently. No more time travelling for that goofball."
"I don't think he's actually a time traveler. He's just a storyteller."
"Well his stories are stupid. They don't hold any true value in this business. It's time to close the chapter on whatever weird book he's working on. I'm just the guy to do it. Twilight's story time will be ended at Inferno."
"Do what you need to do, man. I'll stay happily retired."
"If you ever feel the itch… SFT will sign literally anyone. Even you."
"Gee. Thanks."
The door swings open and Apok's wife enters the promo room.
"Are you about done? Your boots are ready for pickup."
"New boots?"
"Nah. Just resoled. I've been stomping too hard on the morons in SFT."
"Makes sense."
"Yeah, hun. I'll head out in a few minutes."
She nods and leaves the room. Apok then turns to the camera.
"Twilight… you've been around SFT for a while… and apparently you're hundreds of years old… or something. I don't get your shtick, man… but I guess it doesn't matter anyway. Once Inferno rolls around… you won't have any stories left to tell. All you want is to be heard… but nobody is listening. I, too, have a story to tell. You don't deserve to hear it though. What you deserve… is to be ended by Apokalypse."
"When I agreed to compete at Friday Night Inferno… I hoped to face someone worthy of my time. Someone like… Rumpke… or well, there aren't many left worthy of my time. Instead I am stuck with a man who claims to be resurrected. A man who claims to have lived many lives. A man who wants to keep the dream alive. I don't know what that dream is… but I live in reality. The reality is… Apokalypse is the biggest and baddest dude in SFT and he will decimate any and all competition."
"I am well on my way to solidifying my legacy here in SFT. All three titles simultaneously is something that's never been done. Right? There have been plenty of Triple Crown Champions… which isn't hard when the talent pool is so shallow. Has anyone ever dared to hold all three at once? Am I the most daring superstar in SFT history? That's a serious possibility. Looking around the locker room… nobody seems to be up for much danger. They just go about their days… doing the same old matches… hitting the same old moves. Nobody is out there trying to change the game like Apokalypse. That's a shame."
"I go out there every other week and come up with the most innovative maneuvers in history. Twilight just does a basic leg sweep and calls it a day. That may put down lesser mortals… but Apokalypse is a god! Apokalypse is an undefeated monster! Apokalypse is the alpha AND the omega! Apokalypse is more than Twilight can handle… and that'll be abundantly clear at Friday Night Inferno."
"It was also made clear that our match is non title. I figured everyone knew that… since Inferno happens BEFORE I win the Intercontinental Championship at Titans… but sometimes things need to be explained to morons around here. Neither of us is a champion… so of course it's non title! I do wonder if Twilight would take my place at Titans if I were to get counted out or disqualified. Those are honestly the only two ways I will ever lose. Yes, I realize I was kind of pinned last week by Robert Saints… but that whole thing was stupid and a complete waste of time. It was obvious I won that match. Rumpke probably paid the ref to make such a shitty count, just so he could come out and reverse it."
"I see what you're doing, Rumpke. Planting a seed for when I take your Hardcore Championship. How cute. You played referee on the same episode I did. How… fucking… cute. Try that shit again at Inferno… and I'll kick your fucking head off. No shenanigans will get in the way of my victory over Twilight. He must be silenced on my Road to Triple Crown. Don't you dare stand in the way, Rumpke."
He pauses for a moment, which could be any immeasurable stack of moments to a timelord like Twilight.
"I keep getting distracted. Twilight is next on my buffet of destruction. As long as he doesn't hop in a DeLorean or phone booth… then I will have him right where I want him."
"Dead. To. Rights."
"Twilight… you've roamed the Earth for hundreds of thousands of years… and it's past your bedtime. After Inferno… it's time for you to rest. This is what's best for you… and for SFT. When we meet at Inferno… I'll be the one to stop time… for good. It's almost time for your eternal slumber, Twilight."
"Rest easy, old man."
Apokalypse stares deep into the camera for a few moments, then bursts into laughter.
"What's so funny?"
"That last line was dumb. I don't know how old he is. Nobody does. For all I know… he's fifteen and wears a fake beard."
"Good point. He looks like he's seen a lifetime of disappointment though. Did you see his match last week? He lost to Reaper in a Hardcore Title Match."
"Wait. I thought Rumpke was champ. What happened?"
"Rumpke randomly gave up his belt."
"Well that's stupid!"
"How did you miss it?"
"I was busy cutting the sleeves off of a ref shirt. The rest didn't seem to matter. So now Reaper is Hardcore Champ, right after I just beat him a few weeks ago. They should've just handed me the title instead. He's not worthy."
"And neither was Twilight."
"He got too big for his britches and couldn't even beat Reaper. Let me get this straight. I beat Reaper. Reaper beat Twilight. Now I have to fight Twilight. It's pretty obvious who the winner will be."
"It's almost too… easy. Watch yourself at Inferno. You never know what surprises lurk around each corner. There were more surprises than usual last week on Titans."
The door opens again and his wife enters excitedly.
"Oh my God! Why didn't you tell me you were SFT Intercontinental Champion?!"
"Uhhh… because I'm NOT champion… yet…"
She clicks on her phone and holds it up facing him.
"Previously on SFT Tuesday Night Titans! Following a quick match between Jay Impact and Louis Cypher… Harold waddled out and surprisingly stripped Impact of the SFT Intercontinental Championship! Then in an even more bizarre turn of events… he just HANDED the title to Apokalypse! Next episode of Titans… Apokalypse defends against Louis Cypher!"
The puts the phone back in her pocket and Apok looks utterly stunned.
"What… the… fuck?! I don't remember being handed the title!"
"Mandela Effect, man. So… congrats… I guess."
"Now your match at Inferno is advertised as non title match against Twilight."
"This shit is getting weird… but okay… I guess I'm already the Intercontinental Champion. That's fun. I don't feel like I earned it just yet. When I put Louis Cypher down… then and ONLY then will I TRULY be Intercontinental Champion."
"You've got to get past Twilight first though. It's non title so it's not too important anyway."
"Not too important? NOT TOO IMPORTANT?! Jay Impact just lost a non title match and was stripped of his title!"
"Jay Impact is a hack from nowhere ICW! You're Apokalypse!"
"True… true…"
"You really have him hang around to boost your ego?"
"No, hun. He's my friend… and he's helping with video editing."
"Honestly I was going to submit the whole thing to SFT and let them figure it out."
"What the hell?"
"They should see the REAL you. You're more than just a bad ass unbeatable monster or whatever. You could be so much more for them. A locker room leader. A beacon of hope. A true champion."
"Naaaahhh. Been there. Done that. At this point in my career… I just want to kick ass and take belts. Apparently I don't have to do either to become a champion anymore. Here I am… Intercontinental Champion… somehow. I'm about to embark on a magical journey to Friday Night Inferno… which will allegedly be unlike any show ever. They're damn right it is! Apokalypse has never assaulted anyone on a Friday in SFT before! And… if the suits know what's best for business… then my match will be the main event of the evening!"
"Well… there are only three matches… so there's a pretty good chance."
"No. There's a pretty GREAT chance. They'll recognize me as the TRUE top guy. The headliner… the top dog… the baddest man on any planet… Apokalypse!"
"Okay. That's great and all. What about your boots? He's closing in twenty minutes… and then he's on staycation until next Saturday. You going to Inferno barefoot?"
"Oh shit!"
o m e g a
"Apokalypses don't happen very often. They tend to be separated by tens or even hundreds of millions of years."
-- Dale Jamieson
-- Dale Jamieson
