Post by theaccountant on May 2, 2020 15:26:39 GMT -5
The camera shot opens with the Accountant sitting at a wooden table with his back to the wall in one of the SFT's locker rooms. The walls are white, which offers a contrast to the brown table that holds the Accountant's Halliburton briefcase, a yellow legal pad, and a pan. The Accountant is dressed in a black suit, with a white shirt and red tie. His spectacles hang off of his nose as he straightens himself to speak.
"On the last Tuesday Night Titans, the world saw the Accountant make his triumphant return to SFT. It has been a long time, but as I said on that episode, it is time for the Accountant to begin his climb to the one prize that has eluded him during his SFT career: the SFT World Championship. I chose to sit at ringside for the Eli Martin-Jack Jones match and provide some commentary because I need to get a handle on what constitutes modern wrestling inside of this company today. I have to say that I was impressed by Eli Martin's adaptability, but critics pounced on me for what I did after the match. They went after me for attacking a defenseless man after Jones got his lights knocked out by Mr. Martin. But what those critics fail to realize is that the SFT very much operates like the law of the jungle. If you are not hunting, then you become the hunted. So, Mr. Jones was in no condition to hunt and it was a great time to put him down. Sadly, it does not look like I did the job permanently, but I look forward to facing Mr. Jones in the future and letting him see what a real wrestler is all about.
"So this Tuesday, the SFT front office has decided that the Accountant's return to the ring will take place in a triple threat match. Against me are Mr. Martin and another man named Jamo. I have to admit that I have never been a huge fan of triple threat matches. So much chaos, too many risks. The benefits definitely do not outweigh the costs and if this was a tax return it would be rejected for too many irregularities. But the one benefit it has for me is that it allows me to make my presence with authority and set an example for everyone in this locker room. People can talk behind my back of how the Accountant is old news, that his ways are outdated, and that his return is just a seasonal appearance that will be forgotten in three or so weeks. But those critics, as per usual, miss the point. This time I am not balancing my time between working in Washington, D.C. and the SFT. My office is closed up, the money's been made. Now it is time to solely focus on what happens between the ropes. It is time to study film. To paraphrase the Bible, there is a time to live and a time to die, a time to love and a time to hate, and in the SFT there is a time to wait and a time to act."
The Accountant straightens his tie as he continues to speak.
"Now, Eli Martin I know you have an accomplished wrestling background when it comes to the amateur ranks and you are trained as a mixed martial arts fighter. When I started in the SFT, MMA was just a fringe outfit and very few people paid attention to it, but now it is mainstream. You were disoriented when you stepped into the ring against Mr. Jones on the last Tuesday Night Titans, but in ten minutes you got the hang of things and knocked your opponent out with the EMT. Now, how the referee allowed that to happen baffles me. A closed fist in wrestling should be an automatic disqualification and I have already petitioned the SFT front office to take your finishing maneuver under advisement. Also, you may think that I fashion myself like Mr. Jones, who said he was the so-called "gatekeeper of the SFT." I may be a veteran of this promotion but I do not see myself as a gatekeeper at all. Instead, I see myself as a newcomer just like yourself. We both have the same aspirations and the same goals. We both want to be the top dog in this company when all is said and done. To do so, though, we have to go through each other and that is going to be a harder test for you than for me. I am an accomplished submission wrestler, with nearly two decades of experience in this sport. You try to put me in an armbar, Mr. Martin, and I will just roll around on the canvas and find a way out of it. If you try to put me in a leg lock, do not be surprised if I use my other foot and kick you square in the jaw. The key to submission wrestling is not to panic and I am one of the coolest customers you will ever find in this locker room, Mr. Martin. Your test will be when I turn you over for the Abatement on Tuesday Night how long you can last because I will squeeze and apply pressure to the tendons in your elbows until they pop. There is no escape for that hold and even with your MMA reputation, you will not be able to do it.
"And then we have the third wheel in this drama courtesy of Jamo, a man who comes from down under and probably evades paying his yearly taxes to the United States federal government. It is tough to take you too seriously Jamo when you have been AWOL in the ring in recent weeks. A lot of guys in the locker room are wondering where you have been or if you even care about the SFT anymore. Who knows, maybe this is a big ruse and you intend to show up on Tuesday with your so-called "extreme style" and try to blast Mr. Martin and I with weapons. I have a feeling that Mr. Martin and myself are not going to appreciate it. And in addition, you fail to realize Jamo that I am a former hardcore champion so I can mix it up with the best of them. Just don't be surprised if I place Mr. Martin in the Audit and then smash you over the head with a kendo stick at the same time!"
The Accountant removes his spectacles and stares fiercely at the camera
"I AM THE BEST DAMN TAX MAN IN WASHINGTON D.C., and this Tuesday night the world will witness the first step in the Accountant's climb back to the top. Mr. Martin and Mr. Jamo, you have no chance in hell. Nuff' said."
The Accountant tosses his legal pad into his open Halliburton briefcase, closes it, and gets up and walks out as the screen fades to black.
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