Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2020 17:02:06 GMT -5
Subtitled: I'm gonna "Fixxer"..
*The scene fades in to see Rumpke sitting in front of a mirror. The room it's dark and gloomy yet there is a light source, which is a dreary glow from Rumpke's woodstove. Resting on his lap is a relatively large prescription bottle. We know that this container, it has been opened; Our eyes can spot a few white pills have spilt out onto his blue jean pants. They are a medium in size as well as oblong. Rumpke says, "I've had enough of these", before he lightly brushes away the few pills remaining on his lap. We hear them as well as the bottle and cap bounce off of the hardwood floor before Rumpke reaches down to the left side of his chair. Seconds later, an opened bottle of Kentucky Cornshine is lifted into view. He raises this glass container that's nearly full of an amber colored liquid up to his mouth and then takes a drink. The Drunken Brawler begins to chug this bottle of whisky and he doesn't stop until half of the contents of this flask have disappeared.*
Oh Trisha, you little diva. I'm so proud of you.. You've got the guts required to be a champion here in ICW. Your actions, they speak loudly for you. If we're being honest with each other. You and I already know that the bar isn't set very high around here though, is it?
*Rumpke slyly winks*
I've only seen three talents in ICW that would be capable of being competitors in SFT, other than that; I'm looking at a remarkable concentration of jobbers. I've honestly never seen so many clumped up in one location like here in ICW. That fact tells me that you've got the balls required to be a champion here in ICW but you simply wouldn't stand a chance in SFT. It's obvious that the federation I come from, Strike Fantasy Towers is a smaller fed than ICW these days but it's very clear that we have far more talent than ICW has.
Trisha, with what talent you have, why haven't you done more than win the ICW Diva's title one time? I'm curious to know the reason that you haven't challenged Darren Maddox for the World Title? I honestly believe that you could beat that powder puff. Now I'm not going to say that you'll be a World Champion for very long because I think ultimately, Don or Candace will lock that spot up for awhile and only losing this title to each other. Regardless Trisha, you could still go take a stab at being World Champion before those two lock in on it.
Maybe the reason you haven't done more in ICW besides your one measly accomplishment is because you're too busy failing at being a face (We'll get into that in a bit) or perhaps you're too busy being a cheerleader for the saddest example of a World Champion that I've ever seen in my twenty years of effeding, "Darren Maddox"? Maybe, just maybe; You normally don't try as hard as you tried for this match. Hmm, I'm going to say based on everything that you've shown us is that all three suggestions are true Trisha.
Here's a bonus for you. I'm honestly proud that you tried to come out with some decent content. The struggle was real when you worked on it, wasn't it? Trying to line people up that you don't know? Yes, it's quite difficult to do this style of promo well. A person has to have a lot of patience, rushing is only an option for jobbers Trisha and in the end; You followed your World Champion by blowing your wad prematurely. Now, I'm going to make you pay for that careless error.
*Rumpke's left hand, it sets the bottle down at the left side of his chair before reaching up onto a table for a "Marlboro Light". His right hand brings up a lighter. He raises the cigarette up and places it in between his lips before bringing up a lighter close to the edge of the cigarette; Rumpke then strikes the wheel against the flint. Seconds later, a flame emerges from the lighter and the drunk one lights his cigarette. He takes a deep drag and holds it there for a moment before letting out a long sigh.*
My apologies Trisha, I was ready for that drag.. Anyways, back to the show, we go. Trisha, I know that your continuous (M.O) that hasn't stopped lately is that you've got to have a stream session with your fans; God knows that it's a good feeling to have fans isn't it? In this industry, some people go out of their way to build a fan base. You are obviously one of these individuals, after all; What face doesn't care about being adored by the fans? Honestly Trisha, I think that you should take lessons at what a face and a heel truly are. I'd actually say you should study the differences between the two because you ma'am; Need the education.
From what I've seen, based off of your promo's; How you want to cut your opponents and even fans down while being so conceded tells me that you little princess are in fact a hag; Opps, I meant heel! Little girl, you're not a face like you try to claim to be. I realize that ICW's management has been been trying to teach a lot of you what the difference between the two are. I can remember a time where they would preach to you all that you should be what you say you are, they'd try to instruct you all to not deviate but it's obvious that you Trisha, "still" haven't got the message.
You pretend to be a face because you yearn for adoration. It's almost as if someone special to your heart didn't appreciate you so now, you play this sick game with your fans where you continually try to get love from them. I'd bet that there are a lot of sick people out there, I'm one of them but I won't be confused with your kind. Now, I could branch off too where you could be this little lost puppy dog but I won't because that would feed your addiction. I'm not out to make you feel like taking me on in any way is a "safe space" because it's not. I will tear you down in whatever way I see fit. That's not to be confused with, "I can lie about you while tearing you down". Honestly Trisha Wolfe, I'm throwing facts your way and I'd be willing to bet that you don't like me right now but that's too damn bad!
I'm very good at getting under peoples skin. Do you know why? Because I am a great heel! That's what the best of us do cupcake. I know that I keep calling you a heel even though you claim to be a face and I'm sure that you're wanting reasoning to support my theory. Here it is, since this new year, you've done nothing besides "Q&A live streaming sessions". At first glance, most people with intelligence will know that these "sessions" you claim to host for the fans is an event; The reality is that you're abusing these sessions, not for the fans but for your own gain! That's not face behavior. Now if you would do these sessions extra with out no gain then you would be starting to resemble the selfless nature of a face.
Trisha, I almost am convinced that this is the only promo you're capable of executing this year which also tells me that you're either A.) Lazy or B.) Stupid; Yet then again, we could also go with option C.) which says you're both!
Back to another reason I know that you're not a face is that you shoot like you're a heel.. One example is..
"Trisha Wolfe: Hey you all! How do I look today? Very attractive, yeah? OF course that is my middle name and for that reason I am don't wear makeups too. Makeups are for losers, fakers, DEEPFAKERS. I am so so so SORRY if you are born that way, LOSERS!"
*Rumpke sighs at this ignorant as well as conceded woman named "Trisha Wolfe".*
Hey hag, are you listening to me? I hope you are so you'll be able to fix yourself. You'd do good to listen to me Trisha because I could help you get to where you're wanting to go. So do yourself a favor, go turn off the radio; Lock yourself in the room and replay everything that I've said to you before you continue on.
Listen here "bitch", there's not one true baby face that will ever talk to their people/fans who are "kind enough" to sit there while listening to your "Q&A Live Sessions". That's not the way a face speaks to individuals buttercup, even if they are shooting on their opponents. This nature that you're unknowingly expressing is a heels nature. I'm sorry if all of the make up and plastic surgeries have gotten to your brain while you try to convince yourself that you're the most beautiful women in the world. None of that gives you any excuse to be this stupid. You're old enough to know right from wrong Trisha, none of us, including ICW's staff should have to be trying to get you to place your alignment correctly. You should already know who you are.
I've already given you some advice on studying what the difference between face and heel are but I'm going to suggest one more thought too you. Instead of pretending to be a face Trisha, you should instead call yourself a heel so no one can ever make you look this foolish again..
Greetings Trisha, my name is Rumpke and I'm one of the last individuals you want to face. I am capable of dismembering you at will with out any sympathy for your regard. If you ever have to face me again, you'll know much like many others have found out the hard way that you, princess have drawn the "short straw".
Hey witch, are you still listening? I hope so because I want you to notice something. You gave me one sentence to go off of. It was a simple comparison where you compared me to Stone Cold Steve Austin; This is something that my niece who just started kindergarten could do. Sure, she'd be wrong but at least she's just now starting school to where you're what? Forty years old?
*Rumpke smiles with sadistic intent.*
There's another path that I could sell easily. Damn Trisha, I could keep whipping your ass in the woodshed all night just like I've done with most of your team. I honestly don't get this unwarranted superiority complex that most of you from ICW have since most of you are mold-able children.
Now, I'm about to close but before I do, I'd like to inform the ugly princess that Stone Cold Steve Austin was a baby face. I've had this comparison in the past two decades that I have been in SFT. This has been the most popular person that people link me too and honestly; That should be flattering too me because this man was one of the best that WWE had to offer. He's at least top 3 of all time. Yet the problem is that most of these people that compare me to Stone Cold are trying to use this as an insult and when they look at Sable versus Stone Cold. They were already out done, the same goes for every character that measures up against him besides Vince McMahon and The Undertaker. I hope the enforcer doesn't get a hard on with me mentioning his love crush because at this time I've easily swatted him like the fly that he is "TWICE" now..
Honestly Trisha, you've been easily out done but I'm going to go on for just a little bit longer because I want to help you develop after I knock you into tomorrow. Trisha, every fucking idiot that comes up with this comparison between him (Stone Cold) and I; They'd love nothing more than to pat themselves on their back. It's as if they feel proud of their dim-witted perception of characters that they truly don't understand. Honestly, I find their lack of perception a sad reflection of their limited intelligence.. That's where you come into play right now Trisha. While you actually done what you could to push yourself; You honestly did try to come at SFT which is a heck of a lot better than any of your teammates have tried to do thus far. You're still coming up short too the point where all of us wondered if you actually got going at all.. Yet, you did do better than ICW's "World Class Chicken", Darren Maddox! So that's something for an ICW native to be proud of or at least I guess it is but then again he isn't nothing more than a glorified jobber. Sadly, he won't give you a shot at his title because he wants to take on Jamo first who is unoriginal and not a challenge at all. Darren the dodger, sounds like a fitting name to me..
Alright, I've done enough to obliterate this piss pour representation of Barbie while I struck Darren a little bit more. I'm ready to be left alone for now so I can get back to more important issues; Like drinking in peace, so piss off!
*The scene fades out.*
