Post by Emerson on Dec 19, 2019 14:37:14 GMT -5
Today is Friday December 20th. Christmas is less than a week away and New years 10 days or so. Its getting close to the end of the year and pretty soon it will be 2020. That is such a good number. I like nice round numbers. I dont know why but numbers are always flying through my mind. Throughout a given day I keep having numbers pop into my brain like 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20. and it repeats like a broken record skipping and skipping. And I wonder why. Maybe I am a bit on the spectrum myself. Who knows really. A tic or some malfunction in me. But at night when I try to go to sleep I have to keep repeating those numbers till I finally fall asleep.
Sleep has always been an issue with me. I worry a lot you see. I worry about bills, about my car, about money, I worry about my sons school, about his friends, I worry what will happen to him if I should die. What would happen, and that is a scary thing indeed. The future is a scary thing. The unknown is a scary thing. So I will lay on my bed at night counting and counting and worrying and worrying and to the point that I think I will never get any sleep until utlimately thankfully I finally do fall asleep. And when I wake up tired and still sleepy, I get and take a shower waking up my body and what is left of my mind.
And then I have to sit there and think about people like Louis Cypher who does not worry about a thing. He acts like nothing matters and nothing is important, not even his family. And while some might love the idea of living a care free life, it is not a realistic way to live life. Living life without having any care in the world is a young childs life, one without responsibilities. But Cypher you are not a child. You are a grown man. And you discarded your family as if they didnt matter. The only one I see that doesnt matter is you. You live your life from day to day looking for evil, well sir why are you looking for it? Just look in the mirror you fool. You want proof demons exist, well you are one, and while you might find that as some sort of compliment it is not. When people look at you, you think they see a man. No not a man, not a monster, not a demon, just a damn loser! Yeah you heard me right Cypher, you are a loser!!!!!!!!!!
Loooossseerrrr hahahaha
That is all I have to say for today but there will be more to come.
Fade to black
Sleep has always been an issue with me. I worry a lot you see. I worry about bills, about my car, about money, I worry about my sons school, about his friends, I worry what will happen to him if I should die. What would happen, and that is a scary thing indeed. The future is a scary thing. The unknown is a scary thing. So I will lay on my bed at night counting and counting and worrying and worrying and to the point that I think I will never get any sleep until utlimately thankfully I finally do fall asleep. And when I wake up tired and still sleepy, I get and take a shower waking up my body and what is left of my mind.
And then I have to sit there and think about people like Louis Cypher who does not worry about a thing. He acts like nothing matters and nothing is important, not even his family. And while some might love the idea of living a care free life, it is not a realistic way to live life. Living life without having any care in the world is a young childs life, one without responsibilities. But Cypher you are not a child. You are a grown man. And you discarded your family as if they didnt matter. The only one I see that doesnt matter is you. You live your life from day to day looking for evil, well sir why are you looking for it? Just look in the mirror you fool. You want proof demons exist, well you are one, and while you might find that as some sort of compliment it is not. When people look at you, you think they see a man. No not a man, not a monster, not a demon, just a damn loser! Yeah you heard me right Cypher, you are a loser!!!!!!!!!!
Loooossseerrrr hahahaha
That is all I have to say for today but there will be more to come.
Fade to black
