Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 23:12:37 GMT -5
Geesh, this honestly isn't fair.
*Rumpke sighs.*
Will someone please come save this moron, Louis Cypher, from me? He needs all of the help that he can get. I can't believe that he considers these brief notes a promo! Usually, this man; He's the heel around here until he goes up against me. Once this match-up happens, Louis Cypher; He's the baby-face, haven't you all noticed how he's went to being more neutral rather than heel? There's a reason for that!
*Rumpke smirks while pointing as himself being the reason.*
Honestly, I like the fact that he's trying to stir my pot but sadly; This nincompoop can't get on offense no matter how much he tries; Half of the time he's defensive. Cypher wanted to talk about jokes in the beginning as if that was going to help him against me. The only thing that helped him was that I hadn't said anything at that moment!
*Rumpke laughs.*
I didn't have to defend against this halfwits pathetic attempts at trying to shoot me into the ground because I knew that he didn't have a solid footing with the bullshit that he was trying to spew and we'll get into that soon. Hell, too be honest with you all. Emerson gave me a harder time the last go around. Cheers Emerson, good job last go buddy! You at least made me work to win the match! That's a hell of a lot more than this idiot is doing! Hell, I'm coasting right on by this chump like he wasn't even there. Heck, have you all seen what I've had to work with? What am I suppose to do with this delicate china doll? Of course I'm going to coast, because I honestly don't want to keep embarrassing this poor guy. I don't want to be the reason that he runs away "AGAIN". Honestly, I'd like to get this over with as soon and as painless for him as I can! But I will draw the line when it comes to him having this title again!
This "joker", Louis Cypher; doesn't have anything to back up what he was saying against me and I know it; So I called the jester's bluff before turning the joke's right back around on him. See folks, I told you that I didn't have many jokes left but I also informed you that the jests I had were "good"! Louis Cypher was trying to defend against those jokes! Note the "Shut the fuck up" (that the dumb ass couldn't even spell). What's wrong Cypher? Do you have a guilty conscious? I wonder why! Naturally you've forgotten about the time you ran away like a little bitch including the reason why but whatever. We all know and remember! You don't have to recall anything and I don't blame you for not wanting to acknowledge it, after all you've got to try to keep this illusion that you've got going on. You were truly a whiny little bitch at the time that I'm speaking of! Just throwing that out there!
*Rumpke winks before he cracks open takes a drink from his very own Kentucky Cornshine Whisky before continuing.*
After reading Cypher's latest catastrophic promo. I know even more that he's an idiot. Heck, his defense for his piss poor grammar and spelling was that he was Southern. Hell, he even really laid that shit on thick with his southern pronunciation during the title of his promo! Apparently Louis hasn't ever heard a hill-jack speak. I'm one of them dumb ass but you don't see me out here misspelling that often.. I'll get back to this "shortly" but first I want to say this. Hey Cypher, I know that you're one of those lazy information era wrestlers but I've got news for you! Southern and Northern dialect all spell the same way, it's called English and you really should look into this; That way you can get on the same page with every other Southerner and Northerner that have been using this language for years! It doesn't matter what your dialect is Louis, you have no excuse to misspell quotes like "Shut da hail up, or jailor dead"! It's "Shut the hell up" and "jail or dead", now was that so hard Louis? No, it's actually very easy to fix mistakes like these that you constantly make but you've got to have some fucking pride in your work! Have some pride for the long lasting federation that you're still here writing for! Quit making this place look bad Louis! It's time that you actually do the work for this place and help push SFT up instead of making it look bad! You're a person that has supposedly held every title here in SFT, you're suppose to be a stalwart defender of this place.. I haven't held every title here in SFT but I've always been hard to beat when I actually show up. I've also taken the lowest title in SFT and made it the hardest to get, more than once; But when I look at you Louis, and what you're trying to do with what little you have to offer. All I've even seen when I look at you is a pathetic mouse!
*Rumpke reveals a shit eating grin briefly before the smile vanishes. He acts like he's wiping one single tear for this worthless piece of shit before he holds up one finger to signal that he has an idea. The drunk says "Wait for it" before he takes another drink from his fifth of whisky. After he's done, the man nods before continuing.*
Now is the time where I'm going to give this Southern Bell (Yes, Louis Cypher) a form of handicap.. I'm going to get slightly defensive (Not really though lol) while vaguely going on the offensive. After all I want to give Louis Cypher a chance to say what he has to say. It doesn't matter that this jester is spinning his wheels through every mildly wet field. This joker is trying to act like he's got a solid footing through this match but he simply doesn't and won't. I already know that this chump squealed like a pig that it wasn't fair he had to defend this Hardcore title. Everyone else remembers it as well Louis. Who do you think you're fooling? Reaper? I don't give a fuck what this sausage says now. He's already beaten no matter what he does. I'm simply not going to allow Louis to take this title from me because he's not worthy of it and we all know it! If they've all forgotten (Doubtful because you made a huge stink about it); tough shit Louis, I haven't!
Anyway, you talk a big game about doing a lot of work around here but I know what you do.. You show up; Write a few paragraphs of shit (most of the time) and then your done (that's it). Very seldom do you actually come out with more than a few paragraphs but when you do; It's still shit and then the previous result where you're done. Yep that's it, this is all you bring to this place. Yawn, yeah man, you just keep puffing up your chest and feel good about your mediocrity. Oh wait! I'm sorry; you do vote too, don't you? Yawn.. That is a step in the right direction Louis but until you can cut a decent promo. I'll question your voting capabilities.
*Rumpke doesn't give one but he sets down his fifth long enough to give Louis Cypher's weak promos as well as his voting prowess two thumbs down for a moment before reaching out to grab the bottle once again before he speaks!*
Regardless, good job on the small workload that you've got around here. Like I said, this cunt doesn't have a solid footing and I know it! Cheers!
*Rumpke lifts the bottle to the camera before he takes a longer drink!*
My workload, when I'm here you dumb little bitch is a lot more than you've ever done. I write more content with one promo than you do with two of your pathetic excuse of promos combined and more often than not I write more promos! After that, I vote and then produce half of, if not all of the show! Those weeks where I'm not out in the ring. You know, my "weeks off", I'm producing half of, if not most of the show which is still more than your measly promos. Oh, and I vote also. My work load this next Titans when "I'm off", is going to magnify quite a bit more because I've got a lot to catch up around here. Just watch around and you'll see what I'm talking about! Now, I recommended this to you the last promo I posted for you Louis but apparently you didn't get the message. Heck, I thought it was quite simply put but hey; I get it Louis. You're slow so I'll tell you this again in another way that has the same meaning. The next time you feel the need to open your mouth.
*Rumpke motions to stop with one hand before saying.*
Stop right there, have a Bloody Mary, smoke them if you've got them and think about what you're going to say before you actually talk shit! This way, you can prevent yourself from looking like an imbecile once again! I've been tried on this workload bullshit before Louis. It doesn't work for the ninety nine percent of the people around here, it's not going to work for you, get me? When I'm hear, I work harder than ninety nine percent of the people here. The only time "you" work harder than I do here in SFT is when I'm "COMPLETELY" on vacation, get it chump? Even then, It's easy to catch up with your piss poor workload when I get back. It doesn't take long because like I said; You do next to nothing! Facts don't care about your feelings Louis, get it? Now, iff you don't like to hear the truth. Then you've got one of three options: You can continue to do next to nothing (Note: If you choose this option then I wouldn't ever try to compare workloads to anyone, got it? The reason is because you don't do more than anyone of the most active writers here yet alone the writers that also staff!), Option two, you can change your workload by taking on more shit to do around here if you really want to be petty and start talking shit about workloads. I hear that there might be a staff position open. Maybe you should look into it if you want to throw your workload into people's face. Option three, you can squeal like a pig while crying about me being too honest with you (Like you've done in the past). Honestly, I hope you take option number two not because you want to throw around this meaningless bullshit about workloads but because you want to do more to help SFT keep going.
Redd, you know, the other guy that you tried to cut down with you're proud workload stance. He needs help and a break. Hell, how long does the man have to say that he's tired and ready to walk away before someone else around here steps up to help him keep the dream alive? Now I'm going to defend Redd here where you try to cut him down. It's odd because I've got it out for him a hell lot more than you do! Yet, I've seen what it's like behind the scenes to where you're simply ignorant about the dedication that it takes to keep this place going. This man (Redd), he does everything he can to keep this place going. Besides the past few weeks, he has been trying to carry this place solely on his shoulders since March of this year and even before then; He was still heavily involved in the back as well as showing up to cut promos! Louis, you're an idiot and your point is completely fictional because you don't have a fucking clue what a workload around here is! Once again you clumsy little bitch, facts don't care about your feelings!
Now why don't you do what you can to come back from this HUGE HOLE that you've got yourself in. Go ahead and post one more measly promo like that's going to help you. What's ironic to me is that you think that you'll stand a chance against Redd when you've ALWAYS struggled against me.. Then again, I know the man in a different light. He pats you and others lightly on the ass while he actually comes at me. I know the beast that you've been taunting very well and if you get what you want then I hope that you'll get the full experience. Not the light like slap on the cheek that I've always seen your bitch ass get! Hell, maybe I can even be the match too! Then you might actually be able to see what Redd is capable of! Hell, I'll defend the Hardcore title against both of you because I know that I'll still be the champion after this match. The reason that I know this is your punk ass can't do anything about it besides say that I talk to much. LOL!
Regardless, nice try Louis. I seen that you openly declared that you're going to submit "the final rp of your match" as if we should all anticipate the foul piece of trash that you call a promo. Newsflash Cypher, no one fucking cares when your going to end your posts. Hell, we don't care when you start because all of us know that you're putting on a front! I do find it funny that you proclaim such a pathetic even as your last rp.. It's so sad because you sound so proud like you're doing something but you can't even bother with spelling shit right. Hell, we could take spelling out of the equation.. Then you're still fucking up because you actually believe in the dull points that you're trying to proclaim when the truth is obviously something completely different! You've got jokes? I don't know about that Ms. Cypher but you are certainly a joke! HA HA! The truth is this Louis; Facts, they will never care about how you feel! It's about time that you understand this and try to bring facts to your promo's instead of dreams. Which brings me to another point/fact; Keep dreaming on being better than me! You're too easy! You've always been easy! That's another fact for you. I'm done with facts for this moment. You surely understand by now, if not; Others get it loud and clear!
*Rumpke has a smirk on his face as the scene fades out.*
