Post by Joey on Oct 1, 2019 14:53:36 GMT -5
The scene is a Cathedral in France. England, France, and Italy have some of the most beautiful cathedrals in the world. It is as if religion were created in these places and part of it was.
The ceilings are high. The roofs seem to point so high to the sky they are like skyscrapers. If god were watching us truly he might wonder why so many house of worship, the entire world is the house of god, what need is it to build such eye sores?
And yet they were still built, paintings of Christ being crucified. Pictures of angels and demons. Saints and sinners. But its all just make believe. There is no proof any of these things actually happened. It is all based on faith.
These places always smell of rosemary, holy water, and old, very old wood. Birds and rats trapped under this huge beast. All manner of life living off putrid water, rice, wine, and communion bread. As summer is coming to a close and fall is on us, the change in temperatures causes people to get sick with the flu and other colds and sicknesses. Being in a place like this only serves to spread such sickness. And yet every day of the week thousands flock here to pray, to ask for forgiveness, to get their communion and confirmations, to get married, to omit your sins in confession.
I guess now it is time for my confession. Twilight you are correct.
I did fail SFT. I failed you. I failed everyone. Worse of all I failed Shadow. The only person that mattered to most of us. When he passed away a part of us all died with him. Now I am stuck being haunted by his ghost. Everyone I see, I see him instead. Everywhere I go I see him or am reminded of him. Everything I see of hear, reminds me of him. And its beginning to drive me a little insane. And no one can save me from me. Nothing in my power could have saved him. I was powerless and so god took him. And so we hated God for a long time for it. I hate him still. Redd hates him worst than most. And our lives are a little emptier. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same for me. And I lost that part of me that made me want to be here. I was only here for him, now that he’s gone there is nothing left for me. I do not want to be here, that is the god honest truth. I want to shut this place down, bury it under an inch of salt and earth so that nothing will ever grow here ever again. I resent the fact that I am still alive and he is not. I hate myself. Utterly and surely. I hate myself for still being alive. And I find no pleasure in anything, not in food, or movies, or music, not in a single thing. I go with my day hoping that ill get hit by a car and it'll be over with. But it does not happen. And I hate that too.
(take a breath)
So you see Twilight you are right I bailed, in mind body and soul. I failed you all. I would apologize but it would be an empty one. I don't care. I don't care, and I don't think I ever will. We reopened this place by accident, because Reno wanted it back. Not because I did. I would have been content to let this place stay closed as a reminder of the betrayals that some individuals committed. And through all my hate and torture. This is still my home and no one and I mean no one tells me I cant speak, or that I cant be in my own home. Should those people be seeing this I hope they finally come to understand, what is your home is your home and no one gets to tell you to leave home or stay silent in your own home. And till they realize that and understand that then they can stay gone.
As for you Twilight I have no wish in fighting you not really. But I will if I have to.
The cathedral whispers names and prayers as only such a place can.
...Fade….to…..Darkness…...
The ceilings are high. The roofs seem to point so high to the sky they are like skyscrapers. If god were watching us truly he might wonder why so many house of worship, the entire world is the house of god, what need is it to build such eye sores?
And yet they were still built, paintings of Christ being crucified. Pictures of angels and demons. Saints and sinners. But its all just make believe. There is no proof any of these things actually happened. It is all based on faith.
These places always smell of rosemary, holy water, and old, very old wood. Birds and rats trapped under this huge beast. All manner of life living off putrid water, rice, wine, and communion bread. As summer is coming to a close and fall is on us, the change in temperatures causes people to get sick with the flu and other colds and sicknesses. Being in a place like this only serves to spread such sickness. And yet every day of the week thousands flock here to pray, to ask for forgiveness, to get their communion and confirmations, to get married, to omit your sins in confession.
I guess now it is time for my confession. Twilight you are correct.
I did fail SFT. I failed you. I failed everyone. Worse of all I failed Shadow. The only person that mattered to most of us. When he passed away a part of us all died with him. Now I am stuck being haunted by his ghost. Everyone I see, I see him instead. Everywhere I go I see him or am reminded of him. Everything I see of hear, reminds me of him. And its beginning to drive me a little insane. And no one can save me from me. Nothing in my power could have saved him. I was powerless and so god took him. And so we hated God for a long time for it. I hate him still. Redd hates him worst than most. And our lives are a little emptier. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same for me. And I lost that part of me that made me want to be here. I was only here for him, now that he’s gone there is nothing left for me. I do not want to be here, that is the god honest truth. I want to shut this place down, bury it under an inch of salt and earth so that nothing will ever grow here ever again. I resent the fact that I am still alive and he is not. I hate myself. Utterly and surely. I hate myself for still being alive. And I find no pleasure in anything, not in food, or movies, or music, not in a single thing. I go with my day hoping that ill get hit by a car and it'll be over with. But it does not happen. And I hate that too.
(take a breath)
So you see Twilight you are right I bailed, in mind body and soul. I failed you all. I would apologize but it would be an empty one. I don't care. I don't care, and I don't think I ever will. We reopened this place by accident, because Reno wanted it back. Not because I did. I would have been content to let this place stay closed as a reminder of the betrayals that some individuals committed. And through all my hate and torture. This is still my home and no one and I mean no one tells me I cant speak, or that I cant be in my own home. Should those people be seeing this I hope they finally come to understand, what is your home is your home and no one gets to tell you to leave home or stay silent in your own home. And till they realize that and understand that then they can stay gone.
As for you Twilight I have no wish in fighting you not really. But I will if I have to.
The cathedral whispers names and prayers as only such a place can.
...Fade….to…..Darkness…...
