Post by Joey on Feb 28, 2019 17:47:35 GMT -5
Here we go from the end to the beginning.
The scene is the old White Rabbit auditorium in Austin, TX. The place has been closed for years now. But the memories still remain, how many legendary concerts did this place hold. The place could hold up to 7 thousand people. As you enter the place, you can see a small elevated stage towards the north side. A simple stage painted white. And throughout the place you can still make out faded and torn posters. A part of me can thinks I see ghosts. People with torn tshirts of their favorite bands, smoking cigarettes in the little huddled corners as they waited for the next band.
Now a days everyone talks about Austin City Limits and the shows they bring down, but most bands are for the older generation. The Rabbit was meant for people of lesser means. Usually tickets for the biggest bands never went over 40 dollars. Most ranged in the 20’s to 30s. I was lucky enough to see Rancid here as well as Exodus. Some really good shows.
Now though the place is empty. Shadows dancing around telling us stories from yesteryear. It makes me sad. It reminds me of times long since forgotten. Long since dead.
Death has a way of making us forget the past and then at times remembering the past. But most times forgetting is better. Forgetting lets us move on with our lives what little of it there is.
The greatest memories I have is my friends and I losing ourselves in the moment. Letting the music and the band take us away, pushing shoving, moshing, letting us let out our demons with no repercussions or consequences, a good metal or punk concert was 100 times better than talking to a shrink or medications.
Imagine for a moment, 50-60 people running around in a circle, hitting pushing shoving, smiling, laughing, screaming, and after 2-3 hours of that, you are walking to the car after the show has ended. You feel deflated, you feel tired and you are drenched in sweat, most of which not your own. You are half deaf but you cant help but smile and laugh a little. Because you know that right there in that moment you are OK with the world. You are OK with your life, and even OK with God himself.
Life is good at least at this particular moment. And you wish those days and moments would never end, but as we get older we know those moments will definitely end. Nothing lasts forever.
And so it is time to leave the Rabbit and old memories. Some people and some memories are better left to be kept close to ourselves. Never to be given to others.
I get to my car, a simple black sedan. I use my left hand to open the car door, I situate myself and I sit there in the waning light of the day looking back at the venue. The White Rabbit and it reminds me of another friend no longer with me. And I see shadows and ghosts coming and going from the entrance, egging me to come back in and dance that toxic waltz, music or no music. And perhaps one day and one day soon I will join them for that never ending concert. But not today, at least not yet. I still have a few things to do.
I turn the key with my right hand and put it in drive. I take a deep breath. A huge part of me does not want to leave this place, not leave the ghosts and shadows waving at me to stay. And god how I want to stay with them. But not yet…… not yet.
As I drive away from the venue my mind starts to clear, sadness sinks but I am thinking clearly now. My mind starts to think about Rumpke.
Where should I begin? Most would say begin with the beginning. But with Rumpke I need to start at the end. The end is always what matters most.
Rumpke one day you will wake up in a mess of metal. Shards of glass woven into your body. You will feel burning in your abdomen and your stomach. You will see the world upside. Rumpke this is how you die. The world will come crashing down on you my friend. And you wont realize what has happened to you till your final moments. One day soon, you will be either walking along with your always impaired senses and you wont hear or see the car behind you, another person you know just as impaired as you. And you will fly through the air along with that metal beast and 22 minutes after the event you will fade.
How do I know this? I don't know, I just do, and it might not even be you who is walking you might be the one driving, but in either case you will end up with steel protruding through your body. You will laugh a little on those final seconds, because a part of you will think how funny it all is. And yes it will be funny but not for the reason you think.
At your funeral your family will suffer, they will feel the loss. But not many others will grieve for you. Some might think of you for a day or so but you will be a memory very soon after your passing. And that is how you will end.
But let us start from not the beginning but midway shall we? You Rumpke hate yourself. I can respect. I been down that road. Save your hate for yourself and save the world from it. But you always seem to drown in your own self loathe and that too I have experience with. Soon enough you got to the point where your hate wasn't enough to contain and you started to hate your world, your surroundings, everything and soon enough everyone. Tell me I am wrong?
You become a viper striking at anything that comes in arms length and using your poison to destroy not just others but yourself. Misery loves company right? And yes I know about that as well.
My drive is coming to an end, soon I will be in white room with no noise, no books, no TV, no phone. Just me and my thoughts by ourselves and that will be a scary thought indeed.
Back to Rumpke. Rumpke how long have you and I known each other? Back from the Legion days when I was one of his priests? But now more than ever its you who needs a priest not me. You Rumpke are lingering on that edge between madness and sanity, between life and death. And the shadows dancing on your walls are not meant for you not yet and yet you keep forcing them to show you.
The thing is, no one can save you Rumpke, and I think you are so far gone you might not be even able to save yourself. So its not just a matter of time, not if, but when you’ll disappear for good and we’ll be left wondering whatever became of you. But deep down we’ll already know the answer to that question.
This song was always meant for you, find it, listen to it, love it, fear it, live it. It is yours.
Jesus by Hed PE
I can't believe a single word that you're saying
I see your lips moving, but nothing's coming out
Who can believe a single word that you're saying
I see your lips moving& but I can't figure it out
I'm afraid of the crucifix hanging on my wall
You hear yourself screaming, but nothing's coming out
I'm afraid of the shadows dancing on my wall
I hear them laughing at me, but I can't figure it out
I know my limitations
I just don't know when to quit
I know when I'm addicted
But no, I can't get enough of that shit, what?
Jesus, make everything all right
Where'd everybody go?
I know I'm losing, but I don't know what to do
Sweet Jesus make it go away
Mary, Joseph what I should I say?
What do I do?
When I was alone you just laughed at me
I held out my hand, you just closed your eyes
I only wanted to be good
All I wanted was a chance to make things right
Jesus, make everything all right
Twenty thousand leagues deep on the mic
Mass murder, court convicted, terroristic creature of the night
No, don't let me get freaky tonight
No, don't feed me tonight
I been drinking way to much jagermeister
Mommy pray for me, cause I'm not feeling right
I've been hearing these voices
They're telling me to take my own life
Breathe my last breath, eat my last meal
You got what you deserve
How's that feel?
The scene is the old White Rabbit auditorium in Austin, TX. The place has been closed for years now. But the memories still remain, how many legendary concerts did this place hold. The place could hold up to 7 thousand people. As you enter the place, you can see a small elevated stage towards the north side. A simple stage painted white. And throughout the place you can still make out faded and torn posters. A part of me can thinks I see ghosts. People with torn tshirts of their favorite bands, smoking cigarettes in the little huddled corners as they waited for the next band.
Now a days everyone talks about Austin City Limits and the shows they bring down, but most bands are for the older generation. The Rabbit was meant for people of lesser means. Usually tickets for the biggest bands never went over 40 dollars. Most ranged in the 20’s to 30s. I was lucky enough to see Rancid here as well as Exodus. Some really good shows.
Now though the place is empty. Shadows dancing around telling us stories from yesteryear. It makes me sad. It reminds me of times long since forgotten. Long since dead.
Death has a way of making us forget the past and then at times remembering the past. But most times forgetting is better. Forgetting lets us move on with our lives what little of it there is.
The greatest memories I have is my friends and I losing ourselves in the moment. Letting the music and the band take us away, pushing shoving, moshing, letting us let out our demons with no repercussions or consequences, a good metal or punk concert was 100 times better than talking to a shrink or medications.
Imagine for a moment, 50-60 people running around in a circle, hitting pushing shoving, smiling, laughing, screaming, and after 2-3 hours of that, you are walking to the car after the show has ended. You feel deflated, you feel tired and you are drenched in sweat, most of which not your own. You are half deaf but you cant help but smile and laugh a little. Because you know that right there in that moment you are OK with the world. You are OK with your life, and even OK with God himself.
Life is good at least at this particular moment. And you wish those days and moments would never end, but as we get older we know those moments will definitely end. Nothing lasts forever.
And so it is time to leave the Rabbit and old memories. Some people and some memories are better left to be kept close to ourselves. Never to be given to others.
I get to my car, a simple black sedan. I use my left hand to open the car door, I situate myself and I sit there in the waning light of the day looking back at the venue. The White Rabbit and it reminds me of another friend no longer with me. And I see shadows and ghosts coming and going from the entrance, egging me to come back in and dance that toxic waltz, music or no music. And perhaps one day and one day soon I will join them for that never ending concert. But not today, at least not yet. I still have a few things to do.
I turn the key with my right hand and put it in drive. I take a deep breath. A huge part of me does not want to leave this place, not leave the ghosts and shadows waving at me to stay. And god how I want to stay with them. But not yet…… not yet.
As I drive away from the venue my mind starts to clear, sadness sinks but I am thinking clearly now. My mind starts to think about Rumpke.
Where should I begin? Most would say begin with the beginning. But with Rumpke I need to start at the end. The end is always what matters most.
Rumpke one day you will wake up in a mess of metal. Shards of glass woven into your body. You will feel burning in your abdomen and your stomach. You will see the world upside. Rumpke this is how you die. The world will come crashing down on you my friend. And you wont realize what has happened to you till your final moments. One day soon, you will be either walking along with your always impaired senses and you wont hear or see the car behind you, another person you know just as impaired as you. And you will fly through the air along with that metal beast and 22 minutes after the event you will fade.
How do I know this? I don't know, I just do, and it might not even be you who is walking you might be the one driving, but in either case you will end up with steel protruding through your body. You will laugh a little on those final seconds, because a part of you will think how funny it all is. And yes it will be funny but not for the reason you think.
At your funeral your family will suffer, they will feel the loss. But not many others will grieve for you. Some might think of you for a day or so but you will be a memory very soon after your passing. And that is how you will end.
But let us start from not the beginning but midway shall we? You Rumpke hate yourself. I can respect. I been down that road. Save your hate for yourself and save the world from it. But you always seem to drown in your own self loathe and that too I have experience with. Soon enough you got to the point where your hate wasn't enough to contain and you started to hate your world, your surroundings, everything and soon enough everyone. Tell me I am wrong?
You become a viper striking at anything that comes in arms length and using your poison to destroy not just others but yourself. Misery loves company right? And yes I know about that as well.
My drive is coming to an end, soon I will be in white room with no noise, no books, no TV, no phone. Just me and my thoughts by ourselves and that will be a scary thought indeed.
Back to Rumpke. Rumpke how long have you and I known each other? Back from the Legion days when I was one of his priests? But now more than ever its you who needs a priest not me. You Rumpke are lingering on that edge between madness and sanity, between life and death. And the shadows dancing on your walls are not meant for you not yet and yet you keep forcing them to show you.
The thing is, no one can save you Rumpke, and I think you are so far gone you might not be even able to save yourself. So its not just a matter of time, not if, but when you’ll disappear for good and we’ll be left wondering whatever became of you. But deep down we’ll already know the answer to that question.
This song was always meant for you, find it, listen to it, love it, fear it, live it. It is yours.
Jesus by Hed PE
I can't believe a single word that you're saying
I see your lips moving, but nothing's coming out
Who can believe a single word that you're saying
I see your lips moving& but I can't figure it out
I'm afraid of the crucifix hanging on my wall
You hear yourself screaming, but nothing's coming out
I'm afraid of the shadows dancing on my wall
I hear them laughing at me, but I can't figure it out
I know my limitations
I just don't know when to quit
I know when I'm addicted
But no, I can't get enough of that shit, what?
Jesus, make everything all right
Where'd everybody go?
I know I'm losing, but I don't know what to do
Sweet Jesus make it go away
Mary, Joseph what I should I say?
What do I do?
When I was alone you just laughed at me
I held out my hand, you just closed your eyes
I only wanted to be good
All I wanted was a chance to make things right
Jesus, make everything all right
Twenty thousand leagues deep on the mic
Mass murder, court convicted, terroristic creature of the night
No, don't let me get freaky tonight
No, don't feed me tonight
I been drinking way to much jagermeister
Mommy pray for me, cause I'm not feeling right
I've been hearing these voices
They're telling me to take my own life
Breathe my last breath, eat my last meal
You got what you deserve
How's that feel?
