Post by Joey on Dec 27, 2016 21:49:19 GMT -5
Its a warm day on this December day, its almost 2017 and I have the AC on. Strange, but thats the way the world is these days. I have a bag of groceries hanging from my left hand while with my right I am searching my windbreaker pockets and my pants for my damn house keys. I feel them on the front jacket pocket and I fiddle them out. Its some gold colored dice, Shadow had picked up in Vegas a few years back while we were staying at Luxor. When we got back he gave them to me, he said it was a way to remember. I laughed as if I could ever forget Vegas.
I reach the front door and I find the silver colored key to the front door. The huge dark colored door opens with hardly a sound. You would expect such large heavy doors to make noise but they do not. The light beige marbled colored floors are almost white but not quite. The living room is large, a black leather sofa right in the center, There is a mixture of wood and brick all around, Shadow had chosen well when he decided to buy this house, it is large, spacey, somewhat luxurious but still homely. There is a fireplace he never used, above it is a large TV, flat screen, id make him watch Spongebob on it, he pretended to hate it, but I knew he liked it. Theres a picture above the fire place, his daughter on one frame, his step son and his ex wife on a diff frame next to her. Theres a large poster of Marliyn Monroe on the opposite side near the kitchen. And the kitchen is prestine, it still is even with him gone. He liked to cook but he preferred to grill. He insisted on always washing the dirty dishes and containers before we sat down to eat. He used to say because if we ate first we wouldnt want to clean up afterwards and no one would want to touch a dirty dish the day after. He was right. He was always right.
I set the groceries down on the kitchen counter and put it away in the fridge. This house is a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom. One for him, one for me, and one for his daughter when she came to visit him. And how I miss when she was a child, Id still her cocoa pebbles and pretended it was the cereal monster under her bed who had done it. Loved her like she was my own. I saw her grow up, I saw his step son grow up to be a man as well. He too loved him like his father.
I miss Shadow, very much. He was family, he was my brother. And for a moment I think back to when my own father died when I was 5 I think I was. Id go into my parents bedroom and grab a shirt of his and put it on, I swear I could smell the afteshave he'd wear it smelled sweet and like saw dust. And Id crawl in their bed and wear it so I could be close to him and fall asleep. My mom would put a blanket on me and let me stay there. And my heart sinks at the notion that I wish I could do that with Shadow, but I am not a child and I would never go into his room. I have only been in there once since he passed away. And never since.
The deal is I would stay in this house and pay the bill, till his daughter becomes 21 and inherits the house outrigth then she can kick me out, sell the house, live in, do whatever she wants. So I have a few years to grow up before I have to grow up, haha. Trust me I am not smiling. I sometimes log into his email acct, his hotmail, so I can check the emails he had sent in years back, sometimes I'll open up his skype and chat with his sister Inez. Shes beautiful, did I ever tell you that? She is, and we'll talk for hours sometimes, I think of part of her wants to think I am her brother, I want to ask her out, I think I might be in love with her, she moved to Arlington, but I think Shadow would not approve so I do not act on it.
Why am I even talking about this? But I know the answer. The answer is simple. Most everyone that knew Shadow liked him, some loved him, he was respected, admired, when he spoke, we all listened. But with me, no matter if its me, Harold, Redd, or the rest, we are hated for the most. Disliked in most circle even by so called friends. No one would stand for me or fight for me, and thats ok. I played my part as best I could, became the villian so many could be the hero. And heros you all were, Reno coming in like a knight in shining armor. Rumpke the old trusted friend who wished he could of done more, Glenn the man who wears his emotions on his sleeve, all three of you have bled for this place, and been rewarded with not much. Not much at all. And our match wont give you riches or rewards, it will probably be seen by few and appreciated by even less.
I will never be seen in the same light as Shadow, nor should I. But too many times, few ever really got to know me, the real me. I was alwasy the man living in Shadow's house, always by his side, and I was there even in his final day, and even now still live in his Shadow and thats ok. I guess its better to finish what I started with a few friends than none at all.
...Fade....to.....Darkness......
I reach the front door and I find the silver colored key to the front door. The huge dark colored door opens with hardly a sound. You would expect such large heavy doors to make noise but they do not. The light beige marbled colored floors are almost white but not quite. The living room is large, a black leather sofa right in the center, There is a mixture of wood and brick all around, Shadow had chosen well when he decided to buy this house, it is large, spacey, somewhat luxurious but still homely. There is a fireplace he never used, above it is a large TV, flat screen, id make him watch Spongebob on it, he pretended to hate it, but I knew he liked it. Theres a picture above the fire place, his daughter on one frame, his step son and his ex wife on a diff frame next to her. Theres a large poster of Marliyn Monroe on the opposite side near the kitchen. And the kitchen is prestine, it still is even with him gone. He liked to cook but he preferred to grill. He insisted on always washing the dirty dishes and containers before we sat down to eat. He used to say because if we ate first we wouldnt want to clean up afterwards and no one would want to touch a dirty dish the day after. He was right. He was always right.
I set the groceries down on the kitchen counter and put it away in the fridge. This house is a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom. One for him, one for me, and one for his daughter when she came to visit him. And how I miss when she was a child, Id still her cocoa pebbles and pretended it was the cereal monster under her bed who had done it. Loved her like she was my own. I saw her grow up, I saw his step son grow up to be a man as well. He too loved him like his father.
I miss Shadow, very much. He was family, he was my brother. And for a moment I think back to when my own father died when I was 5 I think I was. Id go into my parents bedroom and grab a shirt of his and put it on, I swear I could smell the afteshave he'd wear it smelled sweet and like saw dust. And Id crawl in their bed and wear it so I could be close to him and fall asleep. My mom would put a blanket on me and let me stay there. And my heart sinks at the notion that I wish I could do that with Shadow, but I am not a child and I would never go into his room. I have only been in there once since he passed away. And never since.
The deal is I would stay in this house and pay the bill, till his daughter becomes 21 and inherits the house outrigth then she can kick me out, sell the house, live in, do whatever she wants. So I have a few years to grow up before I have to grow up, haha. Trust me I am not smiling. I sometimes log into his email acct, his hotmail, so I can check the emails he had sent in years back, sometimes I'll open up his skype and chat with his sister Inez. Shes beautiful, did I ever tell you that? She is, and we'll talk for hours sometimes, I think of part of her wants to think I am her brother, I want to ask her out, I think I might be in love with her, she moved to Arlington, but I think Shadow would not approve so I do not act on it.
Why am I even talking about this? But I know the answer. The answer is simple. Most everyone that knew Shadow liked him, some loved him, he was respected, admired, when he spoke, we all listened. But with me, no matter if its me, Harold, Redd, or the rest, we are hated for the most. Disliked in most circle even by so called friends. No one would stand for me or fight for me, and thats ok. I played my part as best I could, became the villian so many could be the hero. And heros you all were, Reno coming in like a knight in shining armor. Rumpke the old trusted friend who wished he could of done more, Glenn the man who wears his emotions on his sleeve, all three of you have bled for this place, and been rewarded with not much. Not much at all. And our match wont give you riches or rewards, it will probably be seen by few and appreciated by even less.
I will never be seen in the same light as Shadow, nor should I. But too many times, few ever really got to know me, the real me. I was alwasy the man living in Shadow's house, always by his side, and I was there even in his final day, and even now still live in his Shadow and thats ok. I guess its better to finish what I started with a few friends than none at all.
...Fade....to.....Darkness......
