Post by Emerson on Nov 1, 2018 15:06:03 GMT -5
Well the week is almost over and I have yet to hear a dang word out of Mya. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. No one really ever takes me seriously. Most see me as their little buddy to their skipper. Am I wrong? I don't think so.
When I was a kid I used to fight a lot. I had a big chip on my shoulder and I wouldn't let anyone walk over me or my sister. That would have been a mistake. I didn't win every fight but I sure gave as good as I got.
I spent a lot time at the principals office. He never knew what to really do with me. School counselor wanted to know why I wasn't willing to walk away from petty skirmishes. I would always reply with the same thing my father used to say “If I step down they will always try to walk over me. Don't start none there wont be none.” Once the school counselor smiled when I said that, I think she thought I was brave, stupid but brave. I was really little even back then. What I lacked in size speed and strength I made up for in heart. I only got suspended once, because it was never me who started the fights, I always the one being picked on, I never started a fight but I sure as heck ended them.
So now 20 some years later here I am in SFT. Still small, slow, and weak. Still hearing my fathers voice. Still trying to fend off predators. And make no mistake, Mya is indeed a predator. She is like a wolf in the snow tracking prey. Her belly is full but still she keeps on, because you eat and you live and nothing else.
A small part of me feels pity for her. In another life she would have had some job in advertising. She would have had a nice loft apartment, one day gotten married, had a child or two, she would have had the American dream. Instead she was straddled with a life trapped inside a nightmare. And then she became that walking talking nightmare.
All that pain. All that suffering. I cannot even imagine. Nor would I dare. That time of my life is gone, and I am happy with my place and where I am. So let me cut you off before you begin. Mya you do not have the market cornered when it comes to darkness and pain. Suffering may be your calling card but people like you always think no one can understand what you are or what you have gone through. That would be a mistake. At one point or another we have all seen a stranger looking back at us in the mirror. At one point we have all had those monstrous thoughts in our minds. To the point that it scares us. But the difference is, we fight, we strive to be better and to do better. Mya you could of chosen life, you could of chosen light. But you were weak. You turned into this undead thing and you think you scare me? You don't. I pity you. Because nothing in this world should make you like you are, not any circumstances. You crave blood and pain, honey life is hard enough as it is. Life is crap, that is how it is for us all. Are there a billion vampires out there no? I don't know your full story, nor do I have to. Because at any point you could have chosen different for yourself. You did not. So all I see is a scared little woman afraid to live.
As for me? I am a boring little man. I am now overweight, still short, no muscles, I am divorced with a son with special needs. I am usually in bed and asleep by 10:30pm. I have no vices because I cant afford them hahaha. I don't travel the nights, I am not well traveled or well versed. I know more about cartoons and cereal than I do about werewolves and vampires.
My favorite past time is sitting at home watching Spongebob with my son. I don't have a woman in my life because the few I have had were scared off of dealing with my son. So to hell with them. If God meant for me to have a good woman I would. So I am grateful for what I have. What are you grateful for Mya? Do you have anything in your life worth living for anymore? Do you?
You and I have nothing in common and when you see me I you probably do not give me a second thought. I am inconsequential to you. I do not matter. When you breath that dark in and exhale that blood and hate that you call life, someone like me must be a joke. Because I will admit once again just how plain and boring I am. But I like that, I like my life of predictability and simpleness. I am a simple kind of man and I don't have to apologize for that. I have something in my life, son, sister, a job, food, a place to live. Heck I think I am pretty lucky actually. And I wouldn't trade my life for anything. And I am alright with that.
Well that is all I have to say.
Goodluck Mya
When I was a kid I used to fight a lot. I had a big chip on my shoulder and I wouldn't let anyone walk over me or my sister. That would have been a mistake. I didn't win every fight but I sure gave as good as I got.
I spent a lot time at the principals office. He never knew what to really do with me. School counselor wanted to know why I wasn't willing to walk away from petty skirmishes. I would always reply with the same thing my father used to say “If I step down they will always try to walk over me. Don't start none there wont be none.” Once the school counselor smiled when I said that, I think she thought I was brave, stupid but brave. I was really little even back then. What I lacked in size speed and strength I made up for in heart. I only got suspended once, because it was never me who started the fights, I always the one being picked on, I never started a fight but I sure as heck ended them.
So now 20 some years later here I am in SFT. Still small, slow, and weak. Still hearing my fathers voice. Still trying to fend off predators. And make no mistake, Mya is indeed a predator. She is like a wolf in the snow tracking prey. Her belly is full but still she keeps on, because you eat and you live and nothing else.
A small part of me feels pity for her. In another life she would have had some job in advertising. She would have had a nice loft apartment, one day gotten married, had a child or two, she would have had the American dream. Instead she was straddled with a life trapped inside a nightmare. And then she became that walking talking nightmare.
All that pain. All that suffering. I cannot even imagine. Nor would I dare. That time of my life is gone, and I am happy with my place and where I am. So let me cut you off before you begin. Mya you do not have the market cornered when it comes to darkness and pain. Suffering may be your calling card but people like you always think no one can understand what you are or what you have gone through. That would be a mistake. At one point or another we have all seen a stranger looking back at us in the mirror. At one point we have all had those monstrous thoughts in our minds. To the point that it scares us. But the difference is, we fight, we strive to be better and to do better. Mya you could of chosen life, you could of chosen light. But you were weak. You turned into this undead thing and you think you scare me? You don't. I pity you. Because nothing in this world should make you like you are, not any circumstances. You crave blood and pain, honey life is hard enough as it is. Life is crap, that is how it is for us all. Are there a billion vampires out there no? I don't know your full story, nor do I have to. Because at any point you could have chosen different for yourself. You did not. So all I see is a scared little woman afraid to live.
As for me? I am a boring little man. I am now overweight, still short, no muscles, I am divorced with a son with special needs. I am usually in bed and asleep by 10:30pm. I have no vices because I cant afford them hahaha. I don't travel the nights, I am not well traveled or well versed. I know more about cartoons and cereal than I do about werewolves and vampires.
My favorite past time is sitting at home watching Spongebob with my son. I don't have a woman in my life because the few I have had were scared off of dealing with my son. So to hell with them. If God meant for me to have a good woman I would. So I am grateful for what I have. What are you grateful for Mya? Do you have anything in your life worth living for anymore? Do you?
You and I have nothing in common and when you see me I you probably do not give me a second thought. I am inconsequential to you. I do not matter. When you breath that dark in and exhale that blood and hate that you call life, someone like me must be a joke. Because I will admit once again just how plain and boring I am. But I like that, I like my life of predictability and simpleness. I am a simple kind of man and I don't have to apologize for that. I have something in my life, son, sister, a job, food, a place to live. Heck I think I am pretty lucky actually. And I wouldn't trade my life for anything. And I am alright with that.
Well that is all I have to say.
Goodluck Mya
