What I deserve

Be honest? Can anyone be that truly?



I find myself sitting outside a quaint little pub on the outskirts of New Orleans. This place is called The Black Door and they sell the best jambalaya and mint juleps just about anywhere. Don't believe me? Come on down.



Now there has been lots of talk about me, the hardcore title and just about everyone chimed in. Thing of it all is, I don't really care. Yeah Jamie was right, I don't care about anyone but myself. When have I ever said otherwise? I care about me, only me, no one else. Incase you are a child, let me enlighten you. In this world no one will ever care about you but you. So you do whats best for you, no regard for anyone else, the rest of the world can go to hell. I care about me. I didn't care enough about my wife and kids, I left them. I’ve said that a few times. I was a horrible husband and father and so I walked. If that makes me a horrible person, oh well, who cares? I am a follower of evil. I do not talk the talk. I walk the walk.



I like to sit down and watch the faces of death videos. I like heavy metal music. Real heavy music, not Guns and Roses and Metallica and awful stuff like that, stuff I listen to is never on the radio and never will be.



I make money with investments, so I don't have to work. I was smart, as soon as I saved up some good money I started investing, enough where I don't have to have a regular job. So I do nothing. I am nothing and I am fine with that.



Should I care about SFT? Why? No one else seemed to care. Now all of a sudden we have a house full of people who are trying to save SFT. SFT doesn't need saving and I sure as hell don't need any saving.



Jaime has been all over the place when it comes to me. How I was a leader and how great a champion I was or am or whatever. Blah blah blah. Then how I am crying about spilt milk and blah blah blah. Listen I am tired of talking about this past ppv. Whatever happened, happened to me, not any of you. So till it happens to you, you guys don't a leg to stand on.



Hate.



Oh how I hate all of you. What I hate the most is being lectured. People who have no clue who just got here or just came back can sit there and tell me how I should act, what I should say, how I should be? Are you freaking serious? I cant stand anyone being holier than thou attitude.



(Cypher takes a deep breath)



So let me enlighten you yahoos. I was personally asked to come back. And after some agreements on schedule I came back. I didn't come back to be a savior, I didn't come back to be a leader or champion. I came back to be another body. To make SFT look like it had people. I accomplished that goal. But being just another body wasn't enough. Too many people were slacking off. So I was asked to be more. So I did. And titles rolled my way. Eventually winning every title in SFT and capturing the world title. So I did a little more than just the bare minimum unlike others.



And yet people want to take pot shots at me. Why? Cause I am not going around like a cheerleader saying yes we can, yes we can! No I wont! NO I WONT! I am not a ra ra ra kind of guy. I don't care who comes to SFT, who returns, who leaves. All that does not matter to me. I don't have any skin in the game. If this places closes up shop tomorrow, what of it?



I don't know exactly what you people want from me. You asked me to come back, I did. You asked me to do more, I did. You asked me to do win titles, I did. You asked me to save SFT and I didn't want to, but I did. And through it all, I have not asked one thing from SFT or anyone. But you sought fit to take my world title and put it up for grabs? Why? Why not wait till someone else was champion? Why not just wait till anyone else was champion? No that didn't happen. Not one person said, hey wait, maybe this isn't a good idea, maybe we shouldn't do this to our world champion. Maybe we shouldn't do this to a guy who helped keep this place open.



So much for showing gratitude. But oh well, life goes on right?



So now I am here trying to get a world title back that should of never left me. Its like trying to make a girlfriend who cheated on you to come back to you. Seems kind of stupid really. And I don't think I want it anymore.



Many might believe that a villain and a heel like myself does not deserve it. I am sure I don't deserve it. I deserve to rot in hell, but for all my sins and all my wrong doings. And I am sure when my time comes I will answer for all the things I did in my life. I will answer to god as to why I felt I had to abandon my children. And me saying “I wouldn't of been a good dad wont cut it with him”. When asked why I cheated on my wife, what am I going to say? “I just felt like it?”



I am not a good person. I’ve spent my adult life fascinated by demons and evil. Do I really expect a happy ending at the end of my life? Happily ever afters do not exist for things such as me. Nor do I deserve one.



No to be honest I think if anyone deserves to rot in hell it would be me. I have had chances to right my wrongs, I chose not to. Anyone ever been like that? Where you do something wrong, say something awful, those things, they follow you around the rest of your days. You hurt someone, you betray someone, you laugh, you mock, you push it aside as if they didn't matter, as if nothing you did matters, as if you didn't hurt anyone. And at the end you think that gets forgotten? No my friends, it does not, it most definitely does not. My ledger is in red, so much red that I don't remember when there was any black in there. The things we do, the things we say, they define who we are as human beings. And your past doesn't get erased because you say it does. So when I say I will rot in hell, I say that knowing I deserve it.



My sole question is, am I the only one in SFT with the balls to actually admit it?



Question goes out to all and especially Jamie Reyes. Yes I know your name is Jaime, but like I have said before. I really don't care. Got that?



Be honest if you can.



Fade