Post by Joey on Dec 23, 2016 21:49:39 GMT -5
I wish.
I wish nothing more than to be who I used to be.
I wish.
I wish I could of been better.
I wish
I wish I wasnt me.
The scene starts off in Palestine, Texas. A small out of the way town between El Paso and Corpus Christi. Not much save for the
name is special about this place. Nothing special about any of us.
I dont remember the last time I thought about being Jude. I think I gave up on myself long ago, even before Saint Jude was even born.
But thats a story for another day. I came from a small family, both my parents are dead. I have a brother, he is not imaginary.
Where he is now, god only knows. So I am here I am in the middle of nowhere, kind of not knowing where I should go. Lost my brother,
my real one, and life went on, and that really angered me. Life shouldnt be going on without him. SFT shouldnt be going on without
him. Yet Shadow is gone, I should know I was there when he drew his last breath. And when he passed, he left me. And now I was
really all alone. No more family, no one to rely on, no one to care if I lived or died. I was alone. And I was scared, I still am.
And throught it all I had to watch SFT fall into some dismall hole, people I didnt know ordering me around, giving me ultimatums. Who
are they to give me ultimatums? Who are they? Have they been around since 1997 and seen this place die and rise a hundred times over?
Where they hever for ever fight, every war, every revolution and still standing when the dust settled. No, they werent, friends who I
thought could be counted on, showed just how weak they really were. I was embarrassed for them. No one trifled with us, no one dared,
and yet everyone showed such weakness, all in the name of progress? Is progress and happiness worth turning in your spine? I think not.
I feel nothing but pity for them.
I sit in this Maroon rental car, leather interior getting cold as the sun sets. I think about stopping at the local gas station for some
supplies but I feel something deep in the pit of my stomach. I know right there that if I dont leave right now, I might never leave.
I turn the ignition clockwise and motor instantly turns over. Smooth and quiet. I turn off the AC and put on the vent so air can circulate
from the outside. I want to go home. But I dont know where that is anymore. I've lost my way.
I put the car in park and I start to move, the small sound of gravel giving way under the tires, a sound of many, but one few ever listen to.
When Shadow was alive, we used to go and put flowers on Alby's grave. From the looks of it, his sister hadnt put fresh flowers in forever.
We never forgot him, and we'd take extra flowers and set them on the oldest grave sites which looked forgotten and sunken, we'd read out the
names and we'd talk to them, ask them if they liked the flower we were setting, it was macabre but at the same time, it seemed like the
right thing to do. Shadow would say, Pray for the dead and the dead will pray for you, but seems no one is praying for him now.
I guess in some ways I am being selfish. I am scared. I had to deal with a lot and no one really gave much a shit when he passed, but thats
ok. He wasnt their family, he was mine.
As I get on the highway I turn on my headlights. And my mind finally wanders to Glenn Owen, making his triuphant return in the twilight
of the feds history. How he wanted to face Shadow and beat him one last time, he only ever got 1 victory over him, and Glenn trust me when
I say this, you were one of few, the people he lost to in his career could be counted on one hand. But I will get to you later on. Now I will
speak about Reno Destiny, you worked hard in SFT, you too wanted a match with him and you had earned it, in my eyes you did. But he was
at the end, had you stepped up to him at a different age you probably would have gotten that match. But what ifs are a bitch arent they?
Then there is Rumpke, you wanted to be in this match. I will say Rumpke you have come a long way from the slush who could barely put 2
sentences together. But you strike me as a man trying to prove something, the only person you got to prove anything to is yourself,
not some idiots in a Texas Wrestling Alliance or idiots here, or anywhere, you dont even need to prove yourself to Shadow, he loved all his
children equally even if he never said it. Yes Rumpke that included you. You want to prove yourself in this match dont you? But problem is
I dont care. My time is over. It ended a long time ago even before Shadow died or friends turned their back on me. I am barely now
just admitting it.
Saint Jude, what a joke I am, patron saint of lost hope and lost causes. Well at least that part rings true.
..Fade...to....Darkness......
I wish nothing more than to be who I used to be.
I wish.
I wish I could of been better.
I wish
I wish I wasnt me.
The scene starts off in Palestine, Texas. A small out of the way town between El Paso and Corpus Christi. Not much save for the
name is special about this place. Nothing special about any of us.
I dont remember the last time I thought about being Jude. I think I gave up on myself long ago, even before Saint Jude was even born.
But thats a story for another day. I came from a small family, both my parents are dead. I have a brother, he is not imaginary.
Where he is now, god only knows. So I am here I am in the middle of nowhere, kind of not knowing where I should go. Lost my brother,
my real one, and life went on, and that really angered me. Life shouldnt be going on without him. SFT shouldnt be going on without
him. Yet Shadow is gone, I should know I was there when he drew his last breath. And when he passed, he left me. And now I was
really all alone. No more family, no one to rely on, no one to care if I lived or died. I was alone. And I was scared, I still am.
And throught it all I had to watch SFT fall into some dismall hole, people I didnt know ordering me around, giving me ultimatums. Who
are they to give me ultimatums? Who are they? Have they been around since 1997 and seen this place die and rise a hundred times over?
Where they hever for ever fight, every war, every revolution and still standing when the dust settled. No, they werent, friends who I
thought could be counted on, showed just how weak they really were. I was embarrassed for them. No one trifled with us, no one dared,
and yet everyone showed such weakness, all in the name of progress? Is progress and happiness worth turning in your spine? I think not.
I feel nothing but pity for them.
I sit in this Maroon rental car, leather interior getting cold as the sun sets. I think about stopping at the local gas station for some
supplies but I feel something deep in the pit of my stomach. I know right there that if I dont leave right now, I might never leave.
I turn the ignition clockwise and motor instantly turns over. Smooth and quiet. I turn off the AC and put on the vent so air can circulate
from the outside. I want to go home. But I dont know where that is anymore. I've lost my way.
I put the car in park and I start to move, the small sound of gravel giving way under the tires, a sound of many, but one few ever listen to.
When Shadow was alive, we used to go and put flowers on Alby's grave. From the looks of it, his sister hadnt put fresh flowers in forever.
We never forgot him, and we'd take extra flowers and set them on the oldest grave sites which looked forgotten and sunken, we'd read out the
names and we'd talk to them, ask them if they liked the flower we were setting, it was macabre but at the same time, it seemed like the
right thing to do. Shadow would say, Pray for the dead and the dead will pray for you, but seems no one is praying for him now.
I guess in some ways I am being selfish. I am scared. I had to deal with a lot and no one really gave much a shit when he passed, but thats
ok. He wasnt their family, he was mine.
As I get on the highway I turn on my headlights. And my mind finally wanders to Glenn Owen, making his triuphant return in the twilight
of the feds history. How he wanted to face Shadow and beat him one last time, he only ever got 1 victory over him, and Glenn trust me when
I say this, you were one of few, the people he lost to in his career could be counted on one hand. But I will get to you later on. Now I will
speak about Reno Destiny, you worked hard in SFT, you too wanted a match with him and you had earned it, in my eyes you did. But he was
at the end, had you stepped up to him at a different age you probably would have gotten that match. But what ifs are a bitch arent they?
Then there is Rumpke, you wanted to be in this match. I will say Rumpke you have come a long way from the slush who could barely put 2
sentences together. But you strike me as a man trying to prove something, the only person you got to prove anything to is yourself,
not some idiots in a Texas Wrestling Alliance or idiots here, or anywhere, you dont even need to prove yourself to Shadow, he loved all his
children equally even if he never said it. Yes Rumpke that included you. You want to prove yourself in this match dont you? But problem is
I dont care. My time is over. It ended a long time ago even before Shadow died or friends turned their back on me. I am barely now
just admitting it.
Saint Jude, what a joke I am, patron saint of lost hope and lost causes. Well at least that part rings true.
..Fade...to....Darkness......
