Post by Joey on Jul 27, 2018 14:25:27 GMT -5
Do you know what existence is? Existence is life, and that should never end. I have come to visit a place, lets see if you can guess where I am at.
The scene is River Clyde. You know the place well right? I was going to go to London. But lets face facts, everyone goes to England. I wanted somewhere different. And having looked at Twilights promo gave me the idea to come here. I always wanted to come here, not sure why, probably because I liked the name.
Jude is sitting inside a small chippie, having just ordered Bangers and Mash I thought about ordering the Grouse but it comes with talons and such and didn't look appealing as I thought it would. And if I don't like the Bangers and Mash I will just order a Bacon Butty. So where am I now Glenn have you figured it out?
I am wearing jeans, black shoes, a white tshirt and a windbreaker. River Clyde seems to pick up the cold wind quite well.
I am a god of forgotten ideas, of all men and women forgotten and misbegotten. I am Jude after all, patron saint of lost causes. A fitting name for me if I do say so myself.
As I walk down the river walk, I understand how much I stand out. You can always tell when someone doesn't belong. He looks at everything through new eyes. He is easily distracted by new and interesting things. And I am like that this morning. I am seeing everything here as if it were the first time because it is the first time.
And at the end of the day isn't that what we want the most? To experience everything as if it were like the first time? I guess that's the same feeling some drug addicts experience, always chasing that first feeling.
I guess you and I are the addicts this time around. Glenn you keep asking for change, for me to change. But why? One day all this will be over, so why change? Why end? Time takes care of all that, we don't really have to do a thing. You say everything is eventual, well eventually we’re all going into that great void called the everlasting darkness. I enjoy SFT, I enjoyed SFT, and I hope to enjoy it for as long as I can. Call it sad, or bullheaded. But its a simple pleasure and I partake because I still love this place, even if its just a memory, even a fleeting one. We lost someone close, someone who meant something to us. And we both know that in a large part keeping SFT alive means a part of him, a large part stays alive too.
And that is the question to your answer. Why are you still doing this? Why are you still here? But the answer is simple, you do this so that you don't have to let go of that person. We keep him alive, and forever in that neverland where he wont grow up, where he wont grow old, where he wont die. We keep him alive, and yes he has a daughter he lives on through her. I will remember him always, and I hope you do too. But SFT was a big part of him. And I wonder if he’s up there logging in with a laptop watching SFT. Hoping that we do what he would do. And even in that thought it brings me sadness.
I am 42 years old. I grow older by the day. And you are right I cant do this forever. One day soon my hands will give out, arthritis or something else. My mind will start to go, all those I knew move on and die and I will be left an old man alone with nothing but memories. But my friend what great memories they will have been. We were able to forge some relationships and friendships that were at one time quite strong and now over a decade later going on 2 decades parts of that still remain. That is impressive. Our friend passed away and his will still remains that strong. That is nothing if not impressive.
You speak as if we owe it to him to close this place down and put a monument on here. But why? Just so that we can forget this place? I don't need to move on. I have my life, made my choices and am fine with it. I have never made an attempt to change who you are, I would never dare presume to believe you would heed anything I would have to say. But why would you try to make me change? Isn't it good that someone remain behind and keep that last light on? Yes its sad, but someone should keep that on. The last of a forgotten line.
But I must say I am a bit envious of your life. You seem to have found that little bit of sunshine to call your own, a wife and child. How could I not be envious? I wish I had that too, and it is not for lack of trying. But not all of us are meant to be husband and fathers. Sad as that is to say.
Harold has done and admirable job trying to run SFT but really we all know there are no more real owners in SFT, you and he do the work but no longer jockey for titles or who gets the fame for keeping this place afloat. Its a labor of love. And while you two do the work no one knows of, ownership died with the owner three years ago. And since that that title of owner has always been temporary. And we all assumed this dream would be temporary and that we would wake up, and yes many did wake up. I miss some of them. But just like you, they did what they had to do for what was best in their lives. I hold no ill will. I hope they get that ray of sunshine like you got. But not all of us will have been so lucky. For some of us, that gold ring is something that is just out of our reach.
I asked you earlier where I was? The answer is Scotland. Remember when we used to travel the world? We would go wherever our hearts desired. Now though? We’re in mangers fighting in front of 98 people. Its fitting though. Just as our sports suffers so do ratings and revenues. Everyone is fighting to stay afloat.
Maybe I should let go. Maybe I should fade like the rest? Its not what I want. But maybe I should stop having that light on. Maybe I should just disappear into the great nothing like so many. Forget SFT, forget I was ever Jude. Go by my god given name, get a regular job and just be normal. Be different, but be normal. I don't know if that would make me happy, but it might make others happy knowing I am safe in some life.
Now in this middle of my life, more towards the end, I find myself clinging to the past like an even older man. Where I have nothing but my memories, sad I know, but those memories make me smile even the bad ones. Is that wrong?
Glenn I wish I could say more, I want to say more but I don't know if I could find the words. Shadow was a master of words and considering his first language wasn't even English made him even more great. But as each day goes by we remember him less and less. And I pray for the dead and I hope they pray for us.
Goodbye.
….Fade….To…...Darkness…...
The scene is River Clyde. You know the place well right? I was going to go to London. But lets face facts, everyone goes to England. I wanted somewhere different. And having looked at Twilights promo gave me the idea to come here. I always wanted to come here, not sure why, probably because I liked the name.
Jude is sitting inside a small chippie, having just ordered Bangers and Mash I thought about ordering the Grouse but it comes with talons and such and didn't look appealing as I thought it would. And if I don't like the Bangers and Mash I will just order a Bacon Butty. So where am I now Glenn have you figured it out?
I am wearing jeans, black shoes, a white tshirt and a windbreaker. River Clyde seems to pick up the cold wind quite well.
I am a god of forgotten ideas, of all men and women forgotten and misbegotten. I am Jude after all, patron saint of lost causes. A fitting name for me if I do say so myself.
As I walk down the river walk, I understand how much I stand out. You can always tell when someone doesn't belong. He looks at everything through new eyes. He is easily distracted by new and interesting things. And I am like that this morning. I am seeing everything here as if it were the first time because it is the first time.
And at the end of the day isn't that what we want the most? To experience everything as if it were like the first time? I guess that's the same feeling some drug addicts experience, always chasing that first feeling.
I guess you and I are the addicts this time around. Glenn you keep asking for change, for me to change. But why? One day all this will be over, so why change? Why end? Time takes care of all that, we don't really have to do a thing. You say everything is eventual, well eventually we’re all going into that great void called the everlasting darkness. I enjoy SFT, I enjoyed SFT, and I hope to enjoy it for as long as I can. Call it sad, or bullheaded. But its a simple pleasure and I partake because I still love this place, even if its just a memory, even a fleeting one. We lost someone close, someone who meant something to us. And we both know that in a large part keeping SFT alive means a part of him, a large part stays alive too.
And that is the question to your answer. Why are you still doing this? Why are you still here? But the answer is simple, you do this so that you don't have to let go of that person. We keep him alive, and forever in that neverland where he wont grow up, where he wont grow old, where he wont die. We keep him alive, and yes he has a daughter he lives on through her. I will remember him always, and I hope you do too. But SFT was a big part of him. And I wonder if he’s up there logging in with a laptop watching SFT. Hoping that we do what he would do. And even in that thought it brings me sadness.
I am 42 years old. I grow older by the day. And you are right I cant do this forever. One day soon my hands will give out, arthritis or something else. My mind will start to go, all those I knew move on and die and I will be left an old man alone with nothing but memories. But my friend what great memories they will have been. We were able to forge some relationships and friendships that were at one time quite strong and now over a decade later going on 2 decades parts of that still remain. That is impressive. Our friend passed away and his will still remains that strong. That is nothing if not impressive.
You speak as if we owe it to him to close this place down and put a monument on here. But why? Just so that we can forget this place? I don't need to move on. I have my life, made my choices and am fine with it. I have never made an attempt to change who you are, I would never dare presume to believe you would heed anything I would have to say. But why would you try to make me change? Isn't it good that someone remain behind and keep that last light on? Yes its sad, but someone should keep that on. The last of a forgotten line.
But I must say I am a bit envious of your life. You seem to have found that little bit of sunshine to call your own, a wife and child. How could I not be envious? I wish I had that too, and it is not for lack of trying. But not all of us are meant to be husband and fathers. Sad as that is to say.
Harold has done and admirable job trying to run SFT but really we all know there are no more real owners in SFT, you and he do the work but no longer jockey for titles or who gets the fame for keeping this place afloat. Its a labor of love. And while you two do the work no one knows of, ownership died with the owner three years ago. And since that that title of owner has always been temporary. And we all assumed this dream would be temporary and that we would wake up, and yes many did wake up. I miss some of them. But just like you, they did what they had to do for what was best in their lives. I hold no ill will. I hope they get that ray of sunshine like you got. But not all of us will have been so lucky. For some of us, that gold ring is something that is just out of our reach.
I asked you earlier where I was? The answer is Scotland. Remember when we used to travel the world? We would go wherever our hearts desired. Now though? We’re in mangers fighting in front of 98 people. Its fitting though. Just as our sports suffers so do ratings and revenues. Everyone is fighting to stay afloat.
Maybe I should let go. Maybe I should fade like the rest? Its not what I want. But maybe I should stop having that light on. Maybe I should just disappear into the great nothing like so many. Forget SFT, forget I was ever Jude. Go by my god given name, get a regular job and just be normal. Be different, but be normal. I don't know if that would make me happy, but it might make others happy knowing I am safe in some life.
Now in this middle of my life, more towards the end, I find myself clinging to the past like an even older man. Where I have nothing but my memories, sad I know, but those memories make me smile even the bad ones. Is that wrong?
Glenn I wish I could say more, I want to say more but I don't know if I could find the words. Shadow was a master of words and considering his first language wasn't even English made him even more great. But as each day goes by we remember him less and less. And I pray for the dead and I hope they pray for us.
Goodbye.
….Fade….To…...Darkness…...
