I am who I am

They say we can’t go back in time, I now find that to be true! But we can go back to where we once were, even if just for a brief moment in time. This time…. Is not quite yet that time. That’s for another day. But today I shall be only who I am, just me. Love me, hate me, I am who I am….

We find ourselves in the “All Souls Cemetery”, Southwick England. It’s late evening, as denoted by the falling red sun. There is a man standing alone on the path that runs throughout these grounds. All around him are grave stones and memorials of different types and ages. This is a place we have seen many times before, often occupied by the man who stands before us now.. After a few moments, he decides to speak……

Although this town is not my hometown anymore this is still a place I come quite often. I’ve been visiting this place for years now, and when I mention that I find it tranquil people always question me and assume that I’m strange. For me this place has always been a peaceful place, a location where I strangely find clarity of though! And although I walk here among the dead, all I feel is life. The life of those that once lived in this world, the struggles and the victories that they achieved. But I also find it a place to talk to those within my life who are sadly no longer with us.


You see, I am no man of religion, never have been and never will be, yet despite of strong views on that, I often find myself talking to those people in my life who no longer walk the realm of earth, and for some reason, this place has become the place where I feel most connected with them. I’m sure there are many real life tales of those that visit this place to moan their loves ones of the strange guy who often walks up and down the cemetery talking to himself, having full blown arguments with himself, and mumbling words that make little sense to those who are unfortunate enough to hear them.

But that’s just me, I am who I am, and I guess it’s no surprise that at this time, this year, before this ppv that here is where I have decided to linger.



Glenn walks over to a small bench and sits down upon it. He reaches into his pocket for a cigarette, but pauses just before he lights it up. He’s smoked for years now, and even though he knows it’s probably killing him, that’s not ever stopped him from smoking. He tried to give up once, but I guess old habits must die hard!



I speak directly now to you Saint Jude, for you’re a man I’ve never faced in battle yet have faced so many times before. You are a friend, yet an enemy to me at the same time, and I both love and hate you in equal amounts! I have a confession to make to you my friend, and it’s this……. I really have absolutely no idea what it is I’m doing here anymore. I don’t know what my role is meant to be in this world. Am I running SFT, or am I assisting you? Am I meant to be leading us into a new era, or are we just keeping an old dying flame alive a little longer through fear of all we’ve known and loved finally disappearing?

Am I winning in whatever quest it is we are on, or are we losing? Is it worth the effort that we put in? Do people appreciate whatever it is we are doing here? Are they raising a glass to us, or is the world laughing at us right now? Are we reviving a fantastic world in glory, or are we simply existing in the gutter of our own failed self-proclaimed achievements?



Glenn puts out the cigarette and stands up. He walks over to the first grave he sees. It reads “Here lies Edward Johns, Loving father and husband”. Glenn looks for what comes next, but sadly there is nothing. He gets to wondering what it will say on his grave one day… “Here lies Glenn Owen, 6 Times SFT World Champion”. Would such words capture all he is, all he was and all that he ever did? Is that what we are all destined to one day be, simply a few words on a forgotten stone in the middle of nowhere?


He stands up and begins to walk slowly along the small path…..



These are the types of questions that I seek answers to right now Jude, and sadly the one person who I know would give me clarity of these issues is no longer with us. That sadly leaves me lost in a world of my own creating, and you have no idea how much I hate that Jude! So I guess for now I’ll just have to continue walking this path and see where it’s heading. But something has to end Jude, and something has to end soon.


Like you, my life is very different from what it once was. We are both different people from the ones who used to be champions here in SFT. There are responsibilities that I have to both myself and those left who I love. There will soon be fresh challenges to face, other opportunities to seek and indulge in, new worlds to explore and new paths to tread. Sadly I don’t think I can take you with me on those journey’s my friend, for I fear that you will forever be here dwelling in the past. That’s not something I’m prepared to do. But I take comfort in the fact that nothing ever ends, you of all people know better than anyone that for everything that ends, something new begins…. We are indeed all eventual!


But something has to end today Jude, we cannot continue in the vein we have. I’ve done all I can to make this world come alive again. I’ve worked as hard as I can to not only keep the flame alive, but to make it grow larger and brighter. Right now I’ve given everyone the opportunity to shine, and as far as I’m concerned this is their last chance to shine. For if people don’t grab an opportunity given to them on the plate, then should we not be questioning whether what we’ve given them is worth fighting for?


I will no longer sit by and do what I do for no reason. I refuse to become a shadow that lingers in the dark forever. Whilst that might give you comfort, it offers no solitude or pleasure for me. No longer are we going to simply exist, because simply existing is not what life is about Jude…. Deep down you know that, as do I. So one way or another, something has to end here today. The path we take in the future, I’m going to leave that up to you and others.



Glenn has now reached the end of the path, and the gate before him leads to other places, a different path of which he now must tread. But before leaving he turns to look directly at us….



I want to reiterate what I’ve said here today Jude, something will end today……. And if you don’t end it, trust me; I will end it for you….



Glenn turns around and leaves as the scene fades to black……