Post by Joey on Jun 1, 2018 14:09:20 GMT -5
There's a slight clicking coming from my nose. Every time I breath hard I hear it. My mind for a moment thinks that maybe my nose is broken and what I am hearing is the loose bones in my nasal cavity. It hurts a little if I breath hard. I haven't wrestled in a while, how did this happen? Had it always been like this? I cannot recall. Sometimes things are the way they are and we never notice it till things get really quiet. I hate the quiet. The quiet leaves me alone with my thoughts. And I do not want to be alone with my thoughts. The loneliness gets to me, the quiet is too much for me. I hate it. I hate it very much.
So I concentrate on the sounds coming from my nose. I stand up from my bed. The white sheets look clean and unused. But I sleep, maybe not enough. But who has time to sleep 8-9 hours? That is a foreign concept to people like me.
As I walk to the bathroom, wearing a white plain tshirt and white boxers. I look oddly like Will Ferrell in I open the door with my left hand. I stand before the mirror over the sink, I see so many lines on my face. I have become old. Well I was always old compared to others in SFT. But I am old now for real. I have several gray hairs now on my head. Crows feet all over the place. When did all this happen. Have I been unaware of everything for so long I became an old man and didn't realize it? Wait! Maybe this is a dream? It could be a dream. Maybe this is 1999 and I have just been sleeping all this time? Maybe when I wake up, I’ll back in my right year, Shadow and Alby will still be alive. I will be happy. Things will be back to the the way they should be.
But I know better than to hope for that. We cant go back. We cant ever go back. And that makes me sad.
I stop looking at myself in the mirror and walk back to my bed, closing the bathroom door with my right hand. I get back to my bed and lay back down. I lay down my head on my pillow, pillow cases a nice soft white. Inside my house it is nice and cool. No way you could know that it is 103 degrees outside. The world outside is boiling.
It is a world I think Louis Cypher would enjoy. He is always going on and on about hell and devils and what not. But he is a fool. Because I promise if he ever saw the devil you would not be inclined to ever speak or do anything ever again. You see truth is Stranger than Fiction. You think demons and such make you different? It does, it makes you stupid. There is nothing good about the world you want to know. Trust me. Forget all that stuff and put your faith in god. That is your true salvation. But I think a part of you does not want to be saved. You do not want that afterlife. You think turning your back on Jesus and God makes you different. It does not. It only makes you stupid.
Where you are headed, there is no light. There is nothing but pain and suffering. Imagine being stuck in a dark hole, head first into that pit, stuck where the hot ground pushes against your shoulders. You are trapped, you cant fall further down, you cant climb back up. You are in a hole and you feel yourself trapped, you are face down, your legs sticking up in the air, its as if you were running and fell down a whole face first. And there you will be stuck for eternity. Rotting, burning, and if you are lucky you will see one of those demons you are so found of. And they will take you out of your hole for a while to torture you and put you back in your hole. And that is it, you will be in a dark hole where you cant get out of, you cant crawl forward, you cant crawl backwards and a minute feels like a decade. And that is all there will ever be for you for the rest of creation.
Tell me Cypher does that sound fun for you? If it does then you are on the right path. It wont be long till you are in hell and then there is nothing anyone can do for you.
But from here till then there is still hope for you. Do not waste it.
I close my eyes slowly, letting my head rest against the pillow and I slowly and surely find that peace to go back to sleep, if even for a little while.
..fade….to…..darkness…...
So I concentrate on the sounds coming from my nose. I stand up from my bed. The white sheets look clean and unused. But I sleep, maybe not enough. But who has time to sleep 8-9 hours? That is a foreign concept to people like me.
As I walk to the bathroom, wearing a white plain tshirt and white boxers. I look oddly like Will Ferrell in I open the door with my left hand. I stand before the mirror over the sink, I see so many lines on my face. I have become old. Well I was always old compared to others in SFT. But I am old now for real. I have several gray hairs now on my head. Crows feet all over the place. When did all this happen. Have I been unaware of everything for so long I became an old man and didn't realize it? Wait! Maybe this is a dream? It could be a dream. Maybe this is 1999 and I have just been sleeping all this time? Maybe when I wake up, I’ll back in my right year, Shadow and Alby will still be alive. I will be happy. Things will be back to the the way they should be.
But I know better than to hope for that. We cant go back. We cant ever go back. And that makes me sad.
I stop looking at myself in the mirror and walk back to my bed, closing the bathroom door with my right hand. I get back to my bed and lay back down. I lay down my head on my pillow, pillow cases a nice soft white. Inside my house it is nice and cool. No way you could know that it is 103 degrees outside. The world outside is boiling.
It is a world I think Louis Cypher would enjoy. He is always going on and on about hell and devils and what not. But he is a fool. Because I promise if he ever saw the devil you would not be inclined to ever speak or do anything ever again. You see truth is Stranger than Fiction. You think demons and such make you different? It does, it makes you stupid. There is nothing good about the world you want to know. Trust me. Forget all that stuff and put your faith in god. That is your true salvation. But I think a part of you does not want to be saved. You do not want that afterlife. You think turning your back on Jesus and God makes you different. It does not. It only makes you stupid.
Where you are headed, there is no light. There is nothing but pain and suffering. Imagine being stuck in a dark hole, head first into that pit, stuck where the hot ground pushes against your shoulders. You are trapped, you cant fall further down, you cant climb back up. You are in a hole and you feel yourself trapped, you are face down, your legs sticking up in the air, its as if you were running and fell down a whole face first. And there you will be stuck for eternity. Rotting, burning, and if you are lucky you will see one of those demons you are so found of. And they will take you out of your hole for a while to torture you and put you back in your hole. And that is it, you will be in a dark hole where you cant get out of, you cant crawl forward, you cant crawl backwards and a minute feels like a decade. And that is all there will ever be for you for the rest of creation.
Tell me Cypher does that sound fun for you? If it does then you are on the right path. It wont be long till you are in hell and then there is nothing anyone can do for you.
But from here till then there is still hope for you. Do not waste it.
I close my eyes slowly, letting my head rest against the pillow and I slowly and surely find that peace to go back to sleep, if even for a little while.
..fade….to…..darkness…...
