Post by Rumpke on May 1, 2022 15:19:58 GMT -5
Date: 4-29-2022
Time: 7:30am
Location: Odon, Indiana
*The scene fades in to the sound of a telephone ringing. Seconds later, Rumpke walks into the room, grabs the phone and turns on the speaker before saying.*
Rumpke: You've reached Kentucky Cornshine Incorporated, I'm not available at the moment. Leave a message at the the beep if you want, I still won't get back with you because you called me too damn early! Beeeppp!
Shrimp: Rumpke, cut the shit! I've got a huge spider issue over here, can you fly to Maryland today!?!
Rumpke: Sure, if you're paying!
Shrimp: There's a ticket waiting for you at Indy, your flight leaves at 10am and I bought you a case of "Glenmorangie Signet Whisky".
Rumpke: Ooohhhh, I'm on my way out the door, right now!
*Rumpke turns off the phone, grabs his keys and takes off for the door as the scene fades out!*
Date: 4-29-2022
Time: 4pm
Location: Shrimp's house, outside of Aberdeen city limits in Maryland.
*The scene fades back in to see Rumpke and Shrimp standing at the water's edge, looking at a low hanging limb that stretches out over the water. There's what appears to be a paper nest attached to the limb.*
Shrimp: Do you see it yet!?!
Rumpke: Yeah, I do! But that's not...
*Rumpke stops himself from blurting out, "that's not a spider's nest", because he suddenly got a mischievous idea. Shrimp looks at him and excitedly asks.*
Shrimp: What!?!
Rumpke: But that's not going to be a problem, I'll show you how we can get rid of those spiders! I'm going to need some supplies first, I'll go to town and be back soon!
Shrimp: Okay!
*The scene temporarily cuts once again as we fast forward to about two hours later. Rumpke has just gotten back, he's completely dressed in a bee keeper's suit from head to toe. Puzzled, Shrimp asks.*
Shrimp: Why do you have that suit on?
Rumpke: I am terrified of spiders. Yet, fear not! I've drank alot of alcohol while I was away and that; combined with this suit, that'll enable me to show you how to get rid of that huge spider's nest! Shrimp nods vigorously before saying.
Shrimp: Good! Where's my suit?
Rumpke: Are you afraid of spiders?
*Seeing an opportunity to out-do Rumpke, Shrimp defiantly says.*
Shrimp: I'm not afraid of anything, you freaking sissy!
Rumpke: Then you don't need a suit, you'll be fine! Let's go get in the boat, we're going to do this from the lake.
*Shrimp nods at Rumpke who grabs one boat paddle before handing it to Rick Craig. The two men walk down the cobblestone path, until they walk onto the dock before climbing into the boat. Rumpke sits in the rear seat, while the brave Shrimp takes the lead seat with a paddle in hand.*
Shrimp: So what's the plan?
Rumpke: Okay, so we're going to come right up to the spider's nest, you're going to whack it into the water and the spider's will drown. Sound good?
Shrimp: Sounds like a winner! Let's do this!
*Rumpke starts up the electric trolling motor and maneuvers the boat up to the large paper nest. Shrimp hesitates as he see's what look like black hornets with small patches of yellow on it.*
Rumpke: Hurry up! Knock it into the water!
*Shrimp hauls the paddle back and right as he goes to swing when he's stung by a bald-faced hornet which slightly screws up Shrimp's swing just enough to graze the hornet nest and the colony off pissed of fighting machines quickly come out looking for a fight! A few go at Rumpke who's in the sting-proof suite while the majority go directly at the man holding the paddle in his hands. Shrimp quickly drops the paddle as he's swarmed by many Bald-Faced Hornets and he lets out a shriek as they mercilessly give Shrimp a lesson he'll never forget! Rumpke laughs hysterically as the poor ignorant Shrimp resorts to screaming while he constantly tries to swat the swarm of ruthless defenders.*
Shrimp: What are you doing!?! Drive away, AHHHH!!!!
*While laughing, Rumpke shrugs before engaging the trolling motor engine. Rumpke already knows that driving away won't work because bald-faced hornets are notorious for following people to the ends of the earth when they're messed with but he does exactly as Shrimp asks.*
Rumpke: Quick, curl up in a ball so they will no longer find you threatening!
*Shrimp does just that, hoping the hornets will no longer see him as a threat but those angry hornets aren't having any of it. They keep on attacking with vigor. And just as Rumpke thought, the Hornets followed them all of the way across the lake, still stinging Shrimp while some are trying to get after Rumpke. Suddenly, Shrimp cries, "Screw this" and he jumps in the lake hoping the attacks would cease and that they did but now, Shrimp has an angry mob of hornets hovering over his head, just waiting for the ignorant man to get within their reach again.*
Shrimp: Rumpke, you fucking prick! You knew those were hornets!
*Rumpke bursts out laughing again while the swarm of hornets land on Rumpke's suit and try to sting him.*
Rumpke: I think they're distracted now, it might be safe to get back into the boat.
Shrimp: Screw that, I'm swimming back, have fun with your new friends!
*Shrimp takes off swimming across the lake and the sound of the splashes attracts the hornets to follow him back across the lake. Occasionally, we hear him yell out in pain from what we know to be another round of attacks. The scene temporarily fades out but quickly comes back in and we've fast forwarded a half hour. Both men are now at the dock, Shrimp still hasn't managed to get out of the water due to a swarm waiting to greet him anytime he tries to get out of the lake. Rumpke also has a small swarm buzzing around him as well and this has now became a problem for the drunk now that he wants to take off the protective suit to drink more alcohol. Shrimp, who has many visible whelps on his face defiantly says.*
Shrimp: I'm glad to see that you're no longer getting enjoyment out of this situation!
*Shrimp laughs at Rumpke who shrugs his shoulder before setting down the bottle. From the dock, we watch him walk away from the lake and up the hill before going around to the front of the house. There's still a lot of buzzing going on above Shrimp's head which has him stuck. He knows the second he gets out of the water, he'll be bombarded once again.*
Shrimp: Hey!!! Don't leave me here!
*Suddenly, we hear an engine start up and moments later; we see Rumpke drive a Bobcat to the edge of the lake at the same very low hanging tree where the hornet's nest is located. He sticks the throttle on high before he evacuates the Bobcat. Rumpke walks back over to the dock, grabs his bottle after removing the protective helmet. The drunk then removes the cap while Shrimp looks at Rumpke like he's crazy.*
Shrimp: Are you sure you want to do that? Those hornets are pissed!
Rumpke: Doesn't matter, look above you, they're going to meet their match in a minute and couldn't give a shit about either of us now. They've got a new threat to their hive. You can come out of the water now.
*Shrimp looks up and there's no hornets. Rumpke begins drinking right before we hear a "Ping" sound. Then, the same sound constantly begins to happen (Ping! Ping! Ping!) as the camera looks over to the Bobcat. All of the hornets are swarming the Bobcat's cooling fan! Yet even then, the saucy one shows reluctance to leave the safety of the water.*
Rumpke: Watch this.
*Rumpke walks over right next to the Bobcat and starts drinking all while the hornets completely ignore him and go all in on their assault against the heavy machinery. Shrimp finally gets out of the water. He's absolutely covered in whelps from all of the stings he endured. Rumpke motions for Shrimp to come over to him.*
Rumpke: There's seriously nothing to fear at this point, see? I'm fine!
*Shrimp makes his way over to the Bobcat with ever intention of hitting the Drunk One upside the head when he gets there. And right when he's about to swing, the Bobcat's engine starts sputtering. Rumpke's eye's widen at the sound.*
Rumpke: Shit... I forgot to put diesel in the tank.. RUN!!!
*The Bobcat shuts off and the hornets quickly divert their attention to both men standing by the Bobcat. Rumpke and Shrimp take off running for the lake but not before the hornets get ahold of both of them multiple times! They quickly jump in the lake.*
Shrimp: This is the last time I'll ever ask for your help with ANYTHING!
*The camera takes one last look at both men who have whelps all over their face. Rumpke laughs as the scene fades out with Bald-Faced Hornets swarming over their heads.*
Okay, well, that backfired on me but at least I didn't feel much of it and still don't, HA HA HA!!! Poor ole Shrimp felt everything! Serves the little shit right, calling me that early in the morning after a long night of drinking!
Anyways, it looks like I've got a match with good ole Emerson, Super Em! He's one individual of SFT that I respect to a degree. Which is extremely rare for me to feel something like that, for anyone, yet I do for Emerson! I respect what he's done here and I loved watching him push people during his last World Title run. I was super proud of him during those days and it's my hopes that Emerson can get on another roll like that again here in the near future, after I'm through with him this upcoming Titans, not before!
Regardless of my respect for Emerson, I've been having one hell of a roller coaster for the past year and a half when it comes to performing in SFT. Used to, I was quick to smash anyone that came up against me but I've let up on everyone a lot lately.. I've not been very consistent at all and I'm going to start working hard to change that starting with Super Em. I know he's going to show me some new things he's learned while he's been consistently learning over the past year and a half. Even then, I'll still teach him some new things, like new ways of how to get by cheating that he'll never see coming, not until it's too late!
Now, I know that Emerson is too good of a guy to ever implement cheating into his way of life, and he's one hell of an example to many kids that watch him week in and week out but I'm not too good to cheat! I'll cheat anytime I think I can get by with it! And thanks to ole Shrimp, I've got a case of really good whisky to work on the next few days, including Tuesday night! Given that reality, you all can expect to see Rumpke at tip-top shape for this match and while I'm planning on Emerson to be one heck of an opponent for me. I know that I'll find a way to overcome everything he can bring my way in-spite of this match being a measly standard match which caters to his talents more than mine!
It won't matter though Emerson, you're not only going to meet your match this Tuesday, you'll also be the first to fall in a new beginning for the Drunken Brawler! Best of luck to you buddy, I'll see you soon!
